#haps campaign

[kill-dragons-get-money]

Now it's double the red!!

Balthazar, the barbarian, says as Sigarek, the other barbarian, kills a red bird who becomes extremely bloody

[kill-dragons-get-money]

Dragon Blood Bath

Towards our second trip to the spring of bravery, We come across a room with a spring of dragon blood. Our Cleric Dwarf sticks his finger in the said dragon blood, and starts screaming at the sudden pain he had just acquired. The Dwarf basically says lets try something else. and he jumps into the pool of blood. He comes out of the dragon blood screaming in agony and skin melting off as his dwarfen beard sheds from his face. As he tries to heal himself he could not because of the constant screaming and messing up the spells as he goes “abracabrAAAAHHHHHHHHHH” We all say our good byes to said dwarf, since he is obviously dead. However our Paladin heals him and he becomes scabbed everywhere on his body. The only thing that is wrong is he lost his clothes and his pride along with his beard.

[kill-dragons-get-money]

Story of the Dick Sword

So, while playing dnd with my buddies, we go to the spring of bravery which is a place where we had our first bone dragon fight and also get holy water. Anyways, what happened is we come across a sword which looks pretty normal. It is a great sword, and can only be wielded by the “purest of hearts”. Now my character is lawful good so why the fuck not get a bad ass sword? So first someone else goes and grabs the great sword and yanks at it. They take massive damage and are basically like fuck it who’s next? I of course go up and easily pick it up, and the handle turns into a dick. A really big dick. Now my characters reaction is to let go of this dick handled sword. And of course, the GM decides that no, its attached to me and attaches itself by inserted tentacles into my skin. It starts talking to me, and opens an eye, and tells me its name is dhulfigar, the dragon slayer. Basically I became an overpowered dick wielder and fought the dragon with no problem since it gave me a +4 to strength and other useful stats. Basically I am now known to my comrades as the one who obtained an overpowered sword with a  phallic shaped handle which I wield at all times. It also throbs in my hand but who would have guessed that.