#hashtag deep thoughts

[stylish-fish]

i want to be the judge who decrees king and rouxls to get divorced against their will and gives them both restraining orders against each other

[fayprocastinates]

if I'm not my thoughts but I'm also not my body what am I

[see-arcane]

Narrator: He was the dead who travel fast

[spilledinkstories]

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Rebecca?

Spoiler-free review! in which I make no effort to sound intellectual I just really enjoyed the book lol.

Okay. I have been meaning to get around to reading Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier for some time now. 

As legend informs us, nothing inspires bookworms to read like the impending release of the movie version of a story, so I finally read the thing. 

Gurl. 

When I tell you it was not what I expected....

Maxim de Winter was quite something to contend with. I will say some of the ideas of how a woman should love her husband were very “of the 1930s” or whatever, but I’ll just leave that there. Ya just shake your head and roll with it while you enjoy the story, and try to forget about it later. 

Like really though...when he asks her if she loves him, she being 21 and he being 42, she says “you are my father, brother, and son...” 

My dude a simple yes would have sufficed, but alas.

That said...

There was something really refreshing about reading a classic novel where the leading lady is so painfully aware of her youth and ignorance. Like, it is constantly referred to and abhorred. She’s always like “it would be great if I didn’t feel like crying at any given moment,” and like she’ll hear people come into the house that she is the mistress of, and she legit hides behind doors and skedaddles into other rooms. Like what a mood, this is me in my day to day life tryna avoid feeling embarrassed in very simple circumstances lol. So yeah that was a lighthearted touch to an otherwise fairly dark novel. 

Also, it was hilarious and relatable and weirdly comforting to have a main character in a stylish sort of period drama where she’s constantly inventing little realities in her head, and being massively relieved when they don’t come to pass. It’ll be in the middle of a situation or plot point or whatever, and suddenly you’ll just have this page-long inner monologue where she’s predicting all the ways the thing is going to ruin her entire life, and then it....doesn’t???? and she’s like...??? Okay. And then rinse and repeat for every situation literally lol.

One of the best quotes I’ve come across in a long time was “I became a martyr to my own inferiority complex”, which is such a huge thread throughout this book! In the story she is so convinced that everyone is talking shit about her behind her back, that without actually having proof that they’re doing so, she teaches herself not only to believe it, but that she deserves it. She says something like she takes everything as a personal blow, when the comments to a mature ear would have landed lightly. I couldn't help but think how many times I’ve decided to be oversensitive and misinterpret what people are saying/meaning, and how many people I know who do the same.

And then the WAY that the plot twist hits mid-way through boiiiii I should have seen it coming but I simply didn’t. 

Like I really don’t wanna give anything away, but assumption and made-up versions of reality are such a thiiiinnnggg in this booooook my gooodddd its good. Okay? It’s good. 

Also...the movie looks like it wants to be really stylish and serious and aesthetically pleasing, which is great I love a good pretty movie, but I really hope it manages to capture her character as this shy, slightly ridiculous young girl who’s desperately trying to please/do right, without wanting to be noticed sorta thing. wishing she was perfect but also invisible. That made no sense. But I hope the movie captures her. :)

honourable mentions: 

adorable puppers Jasper

Angssssstttt

gothic setting - castle by the sea, in England? absofreakinlutely my man

great garden moments

creepy house keeper lady

actual tense moments and dark moments like yikes sometimes

ridiculous upperclassmen and people who wish to be them

the prose are you kidding me as soon as I finished it I wanted to start right over again

is it a ghost story? A thriller? Procedural drama? A romance?

In conclusion, yaaassssssss.

It’s a book that made me think long and hard about how I look at the world as a young anxious person. But in a non-confrontational, non annoying way. Like, not in a John Green kinda way (and I love John Green). Its in a “walk with me, be scared with me, cry with me” way. You don’t have to relate to her, but like chances are at least some past version of yourself probably will.  

You think you know what people think of you? You don’t. They’re probably not so bad, most people. 

You think you know who someone else is, based on the countless scenarios you’ve spun out in your mind and then reacted to, and maybe even based your own worth on? You’re wrong. 

You think you know who you’re going to be next week, or a month from now? Something or someone could come and shake your life by its shoulders, and you’d never have seen it coming. 

So...idk lol be open minded, be kind to yourself, gentle, courageous, and read Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier. 

[tenacious-scripturient]

words written: 1300

date: 11.04.2019

number of hours spent: two

favourite line:

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me—maybe there was a reason for all that. Maybe it was so she could hide all the violence and vileness under a nice, clean slate, like sweeping dust under a carpet.

After all, if it looked nice, then it must be nice, right?

[https-murdock]

super stoned and just realised i have to be on this new medication that makes me high all the time bc they’ve run out of better options to help

[whataburgertobealive]

life's strange

[marinaobsessions]

I was just doing the dishes and having some deep thoughts about Marina because that’s what I do. You know, I saw some of those song-analyze stuff and some drunk photos of her. Wich is sad, but I realized how amazing she is again. A different kind of amazing.

She possibly suffered from depression/drinking problems/family problems/bad self image. Especially that first one really made me think deep. Depression is something you will have for the rest of your life. And if I listen carefully to her songs, I can understand how she feels. Because that is what she does, she sings a lot about how she feels. Most of Marina’s fans I’ve spoken to, have or had a hard time with themselves just like she did. Or does, I hope not. But I think a lot of us recognize ourselves in her music because of this. I mean, look at her. She has gone through it all, and here she is.

I fucking love her.