Ok so let’s take a minute to discuss the fault in our stars because i’m tired and have thoughts with this as my outlet.
Let’s start out with what the book is actually about.
People will say, “oh it’s a romance story” or “it’s a tragic book about cancer” but no. Sure, there’s romance in this story, but it is by no means a romance story; and though it can be sad, it is not a sob story.
This is a book that explores the way in which people die.
On side A we have Hazel, and on side B we have Gus. Take Hazel: She’s a girl who knows she’s doomed to live a short life compared to most people, but strangely enough doesn’t feel a desire to “live each day like it’s her last”. She’s a recluse, wanting to minimize her death’s (and life’s) impact by refusing to interact with the world.
Then we have side B, Augustus Waters (insert swooning noises here). He is charming, he is handsome, and he is in remission. Until he is not. And suddenly, the reader wants to cry. Because no, this is not supposed to happen; this beautiful boy is supposed to live, no it can’t be. What about the girl who’s sick, who was barely getting by before Augustus Waters. We cry over this book, because deep down, we all expected Hazel to die, as would be expected thanks to modern stereotypes and tropes. It just made more sense in our minds for this more drab and unexciting character, who’s already marked for an untimely death, to be the doomed half of this duo.
What is wrong with this picture, is we failed to see the obvious truth: they were both doomed from the very start. Why, you may ask? Because they were both human. Humans are messy, and complicated, and we have the tendency to die when when you least expect it. Augustus would always have died at some point in his life, just like the rest of us. His time happened to coincide with his time with Hazel.
It begs the question though, which is worse: a sudden death or dying just a bit more than everyone else each day. A roaring tidal wave or a filling bathtub. Because like it or not we are all marching towards death, where some are inching their way others have only a few steps to take.
In my opinion, Hazel never would have been with Gus the way she did if she ever knew that he would die first. Minimizing her life to minimize her death, remember? Vegetarianism, very limited social life, etc. Hazel has decided that she need not use up the things that make life worth, almost saving them for those who do get to live. To her, before she knew that he was dying at a quicker pace, she assumed she would be a blip on his radar of life; just a short lived girlfriend who died of cancer, a story to lament with future wife and kids.
This is because every time Hazel walks into a room, she inwardly assumes that she will be the first to one day to die. Not to say that girl doesn’t have a lot to psychologically deal with, but damn. She’s squandering what time she has left, retracting into her world where she will die soon, blind to the fact that life is unpredictable. She doesn’t take into account that life happens around her, that the world is not waiting for her to die, that death isn’t eager for her to fall into its clutches.
Gus shows her that life is holding onto her like a sinner dances with temptation, fast and steady. Hazel talks about her miracle almost sardonically, as if it’s an inconvenience that she didn’t die when she was prepared too. Sure, some of it is because she doesn’t want to hurt the people around her, but I want to say she never abandoned that preparation to die. She doesn’t want to die, per se, but she wouldn’t be beside herself if she did.
But what really irks me, is that she cares. Not for herself, no she could care less if she died as I just stated, but she’s determined to use her life to make sure that she saves the most amount of lives possible, in a way. Again, going back to the vegetarianism, getting frustrated with Gus when she thought he smoked, nervous that her parents will fall apart when she dies. For someone who has so little interest in living, it’s almost infuriating how much effort she puts into making sure other people get to.
I don’t know if any of what I’ve said makes sense so far but moving on.
So I’m almost disappointed that she didn’t have a more sorrowful reaction to Gus dying. It was unexpected. They were in love. He was full of life. All very valid crash out reasons for a normal person, but for Hazel this should be extreme, because it contradicts everything she has lived since being diagnosed with cancer.
And in spite of all this, I am also mad at Augustus Waters. Because seriously, dating two girls with terminal cancer that look almost identical (according to Hazel)? I love Augustus Waters but something about that never sat right. Why? What was the meaning in that? It served no purpose but to make Hazel uncomfortable, like Gus just wanted to make girls with terminal cancer happy in their quote unquote “last days”. I never really got that and I don’t think it fit in with his character but it’s also such a minor detail I might just be hyper fixating on, so anyways.
There you have it, my thoughts I guess. Don’t know what y’all will do with them, but I will have more, so be back later.
