"barista"
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hunting dogs x gn!barista!reader hcs
warnings: none!!
jouno saigiku
oh dear
harasses everyone
harasses his partner
harasses his mf FOOD
by this, I mean he sends things back, not bc he isn't satisfied but bc he can
ESPECIALLY if his partner is on their shift, he'll be extra nasty
"what can I get you today, Jouno?"
"an iced coffee, with specifically 5 cubes of ice 2cm by 2cm, 1 pack sweetener, a drizzle of chocolate and 25ml of 3% milk and, oh, do you have chocolate sprinkles? yeah, I want some of that on top, add some whipped cream too and-"
orders the longest thing and then sends it back because "there were incomplete sprinkles" while staring down the barista with a huge grin
his partner is literally on the verge of breaking up with him for this
however, sometimes he gets bored of toying with them and just orders a coffee
he likes to observe people
it's kinda creepy but he'll pick a seat in the corner and listen as his partner writes down orders and smiles at other people, and then gets somewhat internally offended when they laugh at the random customer's dumb jokes
he narrows his eyes (even more, if that's possible?) at them at wonders why he doesn't make them laugh as loudly as that
takes it as a challenge
now you've got a clingy af jouno who sticks around the desk and seduces his way into the kitchen by flirting with the manager (his partner's boss)
his partner wants to YELL at him that they have to work, but he just places his hands on their hips and kisses their forehead and gives them the slightest hug and tells them how much he loves them, so their partner reluctantly tolerates his presence around their work
he may not know how to cook but he smells every single ingredient and is a surprisingly fast learner so the manager is lowkey trying to recruit him bc of his undeniable talent 👹
overall, he does help in the end, but his partner has to put up with a lot of teasing and nastiness. occasional jokes and cute little pranks where jouno would place a heavily powdered donut under their nose to make them sneeze and eventually messing up the ENTIRE place
but damn, those perfect milkshakes he made are worth it all
tecchou suehiro
he is easily distracted
asks his partner all sorts of things
"hey, how do they make coffee?"
"well, you put the beans in the machine-"
"beans???"
"yes??? coffee beans???"
"coffee???comes???from??beans???"
"yes, tecch, it does u adorable idiot 🙄"
"does that mean you can make coffee out of the beans they put in burritos and stuff?"
"no- wait I don't think so- actually, maybe-"
other customers overhear the discussion and chip in and the entire thing escalates to the WEIRDEST topics
the manager is pretty impartial as to his presence, given that he doesn't disturb anyone and usually just orders and silently observes his partner with a faint smile on his lips
his partner turns, notices his gaze and bites the inside of their cheek to prevent themselves from blushing/grinning at him, then get back to work
they do, however, like to blow him little kisses while on their shift, or to leave a small note on Tecchou's orders like "ily <3" or "you're so cute 💕"
he is a gentleman omg
he once spent the entire time his partner was on their shift holding the door for the people who entered
gets asked if he works there, and he automatically replies yes and helps everyone with their stuff, whether it's a broken glass or spill or if they need sweetener in their drink
nvm the manager now loves him
he makes it a point to visit his s/o as often as possible when they're working, even if they live together or have a date planned for later that day. he might not say much, but he loves to be in their presence as often as possible
a literal GOD at taking care of angry customers
whereas jouno would probably subtly threaten them, Tecchou is just gonna walk up to their face and be rly straight-forward about it
"sir, what's your problem?"
"I placed my order for coffee, a SINGLE COFFEE OVER HALF AN HOUR AGO AND I STILL HAVEN'T RECEIVED IT??? THIS SERVICE IS TERRIBLE-"
"sir, just take a breath. the employee over here is going to make it for you right away, and free of charge, right?"
ofc, they'd nod and do as he said bc the person is no longer fuming
the biggest issue with having tecchou in the café is his orders
he asks for the oddest things, including, but not limited to, sugar on rice and a hard-boiled egg with the shell still on
his partner makes sure to explain to their boss that this isn't anything abnormal for him, and that they'll make sure to take care of the order themselves
after all, putting together a weird food combo in order to get a chubby-cheeked tecchou stuffing his face with sugary rice is very worthwhile
teruko okura (aged up?? ig??? bc children running around a café is odd i think?? wtf is her real age-)
she is NOT made to be in a café with a serene vibe
no bc she picks up fights with everyone who breathes
"hey, idiot, stop breathing so loudly or else i'll come over there and shut you up myself-"
her partner thus keeps a stall in the very corner specifically for her that's far away from the other people 😐
teruko loves sugary and spicy flavors all in one, like a strong cinnamon or ginger, any type of warm drink that smells strongly rly
her partner does that mystical thing with the milk that creates a heart on the surface of the drink that looks so cute
teruko chugs down the drink without even looking at it 💀
she isn't one for those kinds of gestures, and would much rather physically cling to her partner's side instead
sneaks up from under the counter and then pops up like a weasel with a HUGE smile on her face, the kind of cute smile that is like, showing all of her teeth and SUPER contagious and makes you wanna pat her on the head and hug her
the manager DOES NOT agree with this tho and kicks her out repeatedly. teruko is so close to snapping the manager's neck but her partner intervenes and reminds her that they still need their job
the entire café, teruko concludes, is against her
the powdered sugar gets thrown into her face by an unknown force
salt gets dumped on her hair
she slips on a puddle in the corner
the milkshake machine explodes in her face
it's just NOT her scene
that is the last time she visited her partner while at work, telling them that she's going to be waiting outside once their shift is over bc the pain is NOT worth it
fukuchi ochi
fukuchi barely has time to spend with his s/o, given how much of a busy man he is
so, he'll support them by financing the café itself and making sure they get high-quality ingredients and that the working conditions are acceptable
he does make it a point to ONLY get his coffee from there, tho, but doesn't use it as an excuse to talk to his partner. he's in he gets the coffee, then he's out
for this reason, his partner - who is not an idiot and needs human affection just like the rest of the planet - "suddenly and mysteriously" becomes a klutz
"accidentally" drops the coffee on him as they're serving his order, which leads him to freak out, and then rush to the bathroom to wash it off
apologizing profusely, his partner will follow him to the bathroom and help him out, using this as an opportunity to 1) get him to take off his shirt 😌 2) talk to him
this happens for about 3 weeks before his dense ass realizes that they just want some love
tries this out, showing up and ordering his usual coffee, and then asks them how their day has been
they BEAM at him, and gush about the tiniest things
he won't admit to himself that he loves seeing them so happy like that and that it makes his heart flutter a bit, instead telling himself the next time he stays that he's doing it "out of convenience" or some bs like that
eventually finds himself spending hours in the café just talking to his partner about random things, whether that is during their break or while the s/o is supposed to be working
the manager doesn't have the balls to tell him that they're supposed to be working bc fukuchi supplies like half the financial funds for the place 😍
he might start to be showing up late to hunting dogs' meetings for the next while, but spending the time with his partner has been shown to be more than worth.
tachihara michizou
It's very likely that the café is the place he met his partner, or at least has some kind of emotional value to him
either it's where they first asked him out (bc there's no way he'd make the first move) or maybe he was caught in the rain and his future partner, walking out of the café while holding an umbrella, offered it to him with a bright smile
for this reason, he likes to meet them here as much as possible
HOWEVER, there's an issue with dating tachihara, a big one at that
mid-way through the relationship, he had to go undercover and work for the mafia
since his partner had met him and knew only of his work as being "dangerous" and "top-secret", they understood a bit when he said that he had to go on a business trip of sorts and things would get complicated
tachihara lowkey went into a full-on breakdown bc he had never been loved like that before and felt sick at the idea of leaving, but his partner assured him that they'll be waiting for the day he comes back, and held him in their arms for the entire night, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear and gently kissing his forehead
eventually, he did have to leave. in the beginning, he teared up every night while in the port mafia thinking of his love
so, once he got the mafia's trust and moved along in the ranks, he got more freedom to move around and stuff. eventually, he got so heartsick he found himself subconsciously wandering right in front of the café out of habit
before he could snap out of his trance and get tf out of there, his partner noticed him and pulled him into the tightest hug in existence while sobbing their heart out
tachihara couldn't imagine the pain of saying goodbye for good again
so, he made it a rule to come and visit them on his shifts as often as possible, discreetly for their safety
they a b a n d o n their job and run over to hug him every single time he appears bc they never know if it'll be the last time they'll see him
the manager doesn't really follow the story, but tachihara's partner is one of the harder workers in the café, and the café itself isn't that popular anyways, so there's no point in yelling at them
tachihara isn't picky about what food he eats or what drinks he sips, so long as he gets to hear his partner's voice and be near them (I strongly hc that he has attachment issues)
he orders hot chocolate, even in the summer, and still hasn't shaken off that child-like tendency of chugging it down aggressively and ending up with a chocolate milk mustache, which his partner teases him about every single time
one time, he wasn't vigilant enough and gin - who was supposed to deliver a message from the boss about one thing or another - followed tachihara all the way to the café
saw tachihara kissing some stranger 👩🦯👩🦯👩🦯
she walked up to him, and his eyes went WIDE. his partner didn't recognize gin for obvious reasons, and thus got embarrassed, climbed off of tachihara and stood back at the counter, and asked her what her order was, since technically the shop was still operating
gin was confused af
she creased her brows at them, shook her head then turned towards tachihara
oh boy tachihara is screwed
at first, his partner thought he'd been cheating on them or something, then thought about it twice and realized that he wasn't the type to cheat on people. so they (not-so-)gently shoved gin out of the way and told tachihara that they "needed a smoke", a codeword for "outside. now. we need to talk"
he told gin that he'd received the message, and to tell the boss that he'll deal with it tomorrow, and then the mafiosa went on her way.
his s/o demanded an explanation as to who tf that was, and tachihara reluctantly explained that it was someone he worked with
his partner isn't an idiot, they knew that his work was dangerous and that "someone he worked with" would be equally so, and thus they realized by the way he was perspirating with cold sweat and seemed pretty shocked that the girl had shown up
eventually, things were sorted out and no harm was done. tachihara made gin swear she wouldn't tell anyone about his dating situation, and like the frikkin amazing person she is, she agreed.
even though he slipped up that time, he couldn't stop himself from heading back to the café and meeting up with his partner as often as possible
in the end, the risk was clearly worth it