At some point, you start going to the gym not because you want to look good but because you want to be good.
I guess I have reach the point where I look enough fit to radically change all my goals. I can't be thinner, I can't eat healthier. I just can practice, again & again, and lift more weight, and feel even better because damn, my body is able to do things I couldn't imagine a year ago. a month ago.
I don't weight myself anymore. Who cares about how heavy I am, if I am strong enough to squat on a rack, to do pumps or 200 abs in a row.
Where the fuck is the point to deprive my body from calories I need to build muscle.
For 2 years now, I said that I was doing this, all this, for myself. Most of time, that was a fucking lie. I wanted to look good when dressed, great when naked, the main purpose was to prove to people (friends, family, strangers in bars or whoever) that I could do it. Now guess what ? I don't care. My friends started recently to tell me that I was too bulky, or too thin. or too bulky AND too thin. fuck off. Now I am doing real stuff, for myself, because I want to, because it makes me feel amazing. Yes, we can see my thorax bones. Yes, I have visible muscles in my arms, and thighs. so what.
I am healthier than most of people I know, and they keep judging me. They were judging me when I was 30lbs heavier, because I was eating too much and drinking too much. And now, they do because I eat good stuff and exercise. WTF is wrong with you, friends, family and relatives.
just let me be happy, and healthy, and what the fuck I want to be.
