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You can lose parts of yourself and keep on living. You can walk around with holes where love used to be and eventually you will grow over them or find something new to fill them in. You can go on when every conversation with another is a reminder of what you no longer have, and you can learn not to hate them because soon you’ll have something new.
you can. you can.
(this is a post about getting diagnosed with afib and no longer being allowed to have caffeine 😔)
Angiogram on the 18th. Dr is upset I pushed it back so far but bp is sitting perfect with the new med changes and I’m not shaking!!! Chest pains have been minimal and only get worse with too much exertion but legs are getting worse. Compression socks help and they upped the warfarin until I get in. Already planning on going thru the groin, opposite side this time. I’m nervous and worried. 
Tachycardia and heart problems can cause many terrible things. For example, I can't take poppers or I'll feel like dying and not in a sexy way
So it’s actually not funny sometimes, but most times it’s glorious, but God truly does have his palms on my heart, both in glory and enrichment and in warning.
My heart, the engine of this damn body, will sometimes go haywire when I’m living without him, and he warns me about the thinning and fleeting chances he’s given me, and holy am I grateful that he only pokes and doesn’t stab.
I’ve been stabbed. God doesn’t hurt me as man does, but he is a stern Father.
Amen.
23rd of May, 2026, I had a third cardiac episode, it was classed as tachycardia induced by fever and poor soul conditions. I survived, again.
God is good.
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Hey guysss!
So! I’m currently experiencing the way-too-common “it’s just anxiety!” charade that everyone puts on when you start to exhibit symptoms, so I thought I’d turn to the internet and see if anyone’s experienced/gotten some sort of explanation for sudden heart palpitations when you stand? It’s been happening for about a week, and seems to mostly come around when I’m at home, for some reason. There are weed smokers and possible mold problems/other violations in my building, could they have some part in this?
Today, for a little while longer, is May 16th, 2026.
I decided to write again, however long, after a bad experience with my heart tonight.
It's the type of heartbeat or quiver or flutter or malfunction that scoops the awareness and stability out of your body. It's the type that truly hollows you out and lasts a little too long and makes you think "oh god, this is it, isn't it?". It's not the first time it's happened. It won't be the last until it is.
I hate the feeling of simply resting, only for your body, in all its hyperawareness, to be overcome with dread, the kind that localizes in one spot based on what your brain subconsciously feels. It's like your whole body experiences some mind-altering shift, and the gravity of the sensation threatens to pull all your blood to its source.
I don't have much else to say. I just needed to get these feelings out tonight.
If you're still awake, if you can't sleep, I pray that good sleep finds you and that you rest easy.
I pray that good sleep finds us both.
do any of you chronically ill/high heart rate/etc people here have recs for a sensor/watch/smart something for around your wrist that works well? i’ve heard of polar loop or apple watch with a specific app installed. any other good experiences with products so i have a better idea what’s out there?
