My boyfriend has these cam girl type accounts on his Snapchat, multiple ones. He claims it doesn’t matter and that it’s just porn to him but it hurts my feelings. I’ve tried to talk calmly about it but he always gets mad and claims I don’t trust him. Maybe I don’t but it just doesn’t sit well with me and I don’t know what to do. And this is on top of other trust hindering issues that have come up with us as also he never asks me for anything like that.
Oh HELL NO! Totally UNacceptable!!
There are many different ways a person can cheat. They can do it physically but they can also do it emotionally. Now he may not be touching these girls, but he is able to communicate with them and build a relationship with them. You wouldn’t know if he is or is not because after 24 hours, any communication they’ve had is gone forever. Snapchat is a cheater’s dream, honestly. It’s really easy to hide what you’re doing.
What’s worse is that you’ve talked to him about how it makes you feel and he doesn’t seem to care.
Let me clarify - I am 100% OKAY with men watching porn. If my husband wants to watch porn and get himself off, he is welcome to do so. If I don’t want to have sex but he wants to, I’m not gonna be mad if he takes care of it himself - even if he needs a video to help. BUT that’s only because he can’t communicate with the girls he’s watching. He isn’t talking to them or requesting anything from them. It is completely different than watching cam girls live, talking to them, getting to know them, requesting things from them - and possibly doing things WITH them. For all you know, he’s “taking care of himself” on camera while talking to these girls in a live video. How is that NOT cheating?? It’s like you’re having sex with someone except you’re not physically touching!
I think you need to let this guy go. He seems to need the attention from other women and that is not fair to you. You deserve a man that only wants to be with you sexually. You deserve a man that isn’t going to cheat on you and then downplay it as if it isn’t cheating (when it IS!!!). You deserve a man that is loyal and trustworthy and respectful. You deserve a man that can AND WILL come to you with his sexual wants and needs. A man that is polite and respectful if you’re new to something, and that is understanding if you’re a bit nervous and you need him to take it slow. You deserve all of that and more.
I would give the guy I’m with one chance and after that it would be over. In my personal opinion, you HAVE given him one chance. You gave him one chance when you confronted him and told him you weren’t comfortable with him continuing. But he shrugged it off. He clearly doesn’t care that it upsets you, or that he is hurting your feelings or disrespecting you.
I always try and find a way for the situation to remain positive. I always try to tell someone ways to keep the relationship going. But in this case, I just can’t bring myself to do that, because I would honestly not try myself if I were in your shoes. After telling the guy “it upsets me and I consider it cheating, so you’re cheating on me over and over again” and he just shrugs it off, basically laughs in your face by continuing, and then does it again and again.. I would be G-O-N-E! GONE!
Sorry if that’s not the advice you’re looking for but my goal is to think the situation through, go off of my past experiences and be 100% honest with you and I’m doing that right now.
