I had a dream....
I had a dream that destroyed me more then I could do myself.
You were in it, you were it. Everything seemed like it was that first day when we had that first kiss while laying on your bed, the snow starting to fall again on that February night. slightly hitting the window on its way to the ground.
And after that kiss again, all these memories kept pouring out. Memories I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember it the way I do.
Those cozy nights, those coffee stained lips on mine and everything felt like it was perfect.
But that's when the dream took an unexpected twist that made me wake up drowning in my own tears.
All those memories started again, but it wasn't me. It was her, and everything we had plans to do. I had dreamt of you doing them with her. And it made my heart crawl deep down. Deep down to where I wish it would never go again.
As my heart sunk, so did I. Drowning in your sent that is still stained on my favorite sweater.
As I woke in the middle of the night, the moon stood tall and I remember watching it with you on our ride home, it was high up, with the stars dancing around it.
This is going to take longer then I thought, I miss you more then I should. But maybe I deserve this pain and heartache the way I sometimes treated you, taking you for granted. Wasn't a wise choice
I love you more then those summer nights with the smell of campfires and smores. More then the sunsets and sunrises, more then the beauty in ones words. More then those coffee stained kisses, and those family gatherings. I love you more then the ocean glistening as the moons light shines across it. I love you more then rainfalls, and the smell after. I love you more then I can explain. And it hurts that you aren't mine anymore to experience our planned journeys. Our late night talks, and those cold nights where all we did was keep each other warm.
And it hurts knowing you don't love me the way I do, that your not experiencing this heartache because you've found someone else to love, who happens to be my best friend....
