It's been two years, yet it feels like just yesterday when I was about to die. I can still feel the pain sometimes. I remember it all. I remember the 4 cannulas I had stuck in my arms, one of them was a Grey one, the largest cannula of them all and it had to be inserted by an anesthesiologist not a nurse. I remember when it got blocked and I had to take my meds but the nurse couldn't properly insert a cannula. He tried 3 times before he succeeded, I was in immense pain. I remember the night I arrived at the ICU, I ended up sleeping on the floor because of the pain I had in my back. I remember the doctors' faces when they said that they're going to "terminate" my pregnancy because they had to save my life, and that my daughter's too little to survive. I remember one doctor mentioning that I might wake up to find myself on a ventilator after they terminate my pregnancy. I remember the moment I started to wake up and I wondered if I'm on the ventilator or not. I had an oxygen mask on and my mother said "not a ventilator, just an oxygen mask" the moment I opened my eyes. I remember asking about my daughter and everyone telling me they're doing the best they can, yet they were trying to always change the subject so I wouldn't get too attached to her. Little did they know. I remember all those long nights I spent alone, I could barely sleep. They took away my phone and iPad, they said they're not good for my unstable blood pressure. So I was alone, couldn't sleep, in a lot of pain, and without my phone or any sort of connection to the outside world. I remember when they said I'm about to be released from the hospital a few days after delivery. They moved me out of the ICU and I could finally see my daughter for the first time. Her skin was so transparent, I could literally see her tiny beating heart. She weighed 850 grams when she was born. Bless her little heart ❤️
The next day, I got so tired again. Blood pressure was sky rocketing, they were so confused. I got sent back to the ICU again. The thing is, this time the only available ICU bed was an emergency one in one of those rooms with 2 people in it. My room mate was an old lady who kept on swearing at nurses and doctors and anyone passing by the room. I remember they suspected I had a brain hemorrhage. They removed my PVC and stopped all medication to see what the hell is wrong with my brain. I remember I was in a lot of pain, no PVC, and the screaming lady topped it all. I remember them later on saying that my brain's fine, so they gave me my PVC back, at last. Still no phone. I remember moving to another ICU room, one with a single bed, the next day. They said I'll have another surgery the following day. I was happy, because that would mean the pain will start to go away. Still no phone. I remember when I had some kind of infection and a part of my face got swelled up. Then a "funny" doctor said "oh, I thought you already looked like that. I thought you were fat". Funny. I remember when it was time to have the surgery. They take me up to the OR. I remember them measuring my Blood pressure and it was so high it was risky to go through with the surgery. They take me back to my room and the doctor measures my blood pressure again without any meds, it's back to normal. Surgeon decided to wait for a month. I remember a doctor telling me I should get out of bed more often. I moved around. It wasn't easy with all those cannulas and meds. I remember 2 days before I left the hospital, they gave me my phone back. Blood pressure was under control. Heart rate was under control. I remember moving to a normal room one day before I left. I remember seeing my daughter again. ❤️ still on a ventilator, she was an angel. I remember the day I left the hospital. Right before I left, I started to feel sick again. I begged my mom that we leave before they decide to measure my blood pressure again. The minute I got home, Blood pressure and heart rate weren't normal. Took a lot of meds to stabilize my blood pressure. A few weeks later, my heart rate was back to normal. A month later, I go back to the hospital for the postponed surgery. Spent the night there, left the next morning. Piece of cake, الحمد لله. Next day, they tell me to go pick up my daughter, فريدة❤️ she was ready to go home. I remember how tiny she was. 1.5 kgs. An angel 💕الله يحميها.
I had very calm 6 months of pregnancy. I was healthy, my baby was the right weight all the time, and everything was perfectly normal. Until I felt a little pain in my stomach. Less than a week later a few doctors were literally trying to save my life.
I didn't catch a virus, there was absolutely nothing wrong with me before I got sick and there wasn't anything I could have done to prevent it.
#Preeclampsia #HELLPSyndrome
