Switching Meds Or Switching Minds?
I have been diagnosed with OCD, Postpartum and Clinical Depression, Anxiety and Panic Disorder, and Postpartum Anxiety. I am currently switching medications for my Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Which means I had to wean myself off of my old medication (Citalopram 40mg) and start my new medications (Effexor 112.5mg and Clonazepam 2mg).
For those of you who don’t know much about the effects that switching medications have or the withdrawal from stopping a medication, it is most easily described as hell on earth.
I am fully weaned off of my Citalopram now, and amped up to 112.5 mg of Effexor and 2mg of Clonazepam daily. But I’ve only been on my new meds for 2 weeks. And if you don’t know much about anti-pyschotic drugs or ani-depressants, it takes 4-6 weeks for a new drug to get into your system and start taking effect. So I am currently in medication purgatory. Where I am feeling all of the adverse affects of my new medication without the benefits of them while also feeling the withdrawal symptoms from my old medication.
So because my new medications aren’t taking affect right now, I am experiencing every single horrible symptoms of all of my mental illnesses. I truly feel like I am living in someone else’s mind. I am having horrible mood swings, where I go from happy, motivated, optimistic, to depressed, crying, numb and agitated within minutes. I am also experiencing extreme social anxiety, anxiety about my children’s and family’s health and intrusive morbid thoughts about death and horrible scenarios.
I’m experiencing extreme fatigue, to the point where I struggle to stay awake for even 2 hours at a time. All I want to do is sleep. I have to remind myself to eat, shower, and to actually get out of bed.
I’m back to square one with my PPD and Anxiety. I’m just so thankful for my supportive and loving fiance. He is truly the most understanding and helpful man I could ever ask for. He is the reason I am able to live day to day, and try to be the best mother I can manage to be. He has done everything for the kids and for me throughout this and I cannot thank him enough.
I will post more about my day to day life and struggles and hopefully post more positive blogs in the coming weeks.
Remember to be kind always, and that means also being kind to yourself. xo
