🔪 You'd Run Too 🦉
Pansexual AU - Poly!Stoliz x Reader
You expected a normal day.
Coffee. Work. Maybe doomscrolling.
What you did not expect was to fall through a glowing hole in the ground and land directly on top of a tiny red man who swears like a sailor with a head injury.
He’s loud. He’s kinda pointy. He’s offended you crushed him.
You’re a little offended he thinks your “a clumsy fucker with tits.”
Congratulations. You’re in Hell. The Ø is silent.
Apparently the glowing holes just spit you out like you’re a defective product, and the tiny red rage-gremlin decides this is your problem but it's also somehow his problem too, so he drags his “friend" into this mess too, he doesnt excatly call him a friend. You’re pretty sure it’s his situationship ?
Enter: A stupidly-tall owl man in a bathrobe who talks like a Victorian ghost trying to seduce a houseplant. He calls you what you think passes for a pet name within thirty seconds and you’re 90% sure he’s flirting with both you and the angry red guy.
Neither of them can explain why you’re stuck…
Until Owl Daddy Deluxe finds a dusty book.
P.1 - Or: I.M.P & Dubious Hospitality
P.2 - Or: How to Explain "I Accidentally Kidnapped a Human"
P.3 - Or: What's with all the Horses ?
P.4 - Or: Rude Awakenings and Ruder Introductions ❤️🔥 18+
P.5 - Or: How to Be Helpful When You're Useless
P.6 - Or: Team Bonding at Its Finest
P.7 - Or: Grocery Store Apocalypse
P.8 - Or: Goodbyes and Territorial Gestures
P.9 - Or: Why are there so many stairs ?
P.10 - Or: Celebration & Tail Interference
P.11 - Or: How to Survive a Van Full of Imps
P.12 - Or: Steam and Hypnotic Eyes
P.13 - Or: Ughhh, Fine F#ck it ❤️🔥 18+
P.14 - Or: Blitz's Guide to Corruption ❤️🔥 18+
P.15 - Or: How to Ruin Breakfast
P.16 - Or: Helpful ... But in the Worst Way
P.17 - Or: Daddy Issues & Horse Melodrama
P.18 - Or: Footloose and Fancy Free
P.19 - Or: Fu#k-Ass Parties Lead to Baths ❤️🔥18+
P.20 - Or: Silk and Sore Muscles
P.21 - Or: Blitz's Idea of Shopping ft. Fizz
P.22 - Or: Arrivals and Acquisitions ❤️🔥 18 +
P.23 - Or: Grovel Like Your Life Depends on It
P.24 - Or: Rich People Food is Weird
P.25 - Or: Why Won't You Disco ?
P.26 -Or:How to Miss Someone Who's Not Gone
P.27 - Or: Etiquette & Not Punching Daddy
P.28 - Or: How to Fall Apart While Yelling
P.29 - Or: Ice and Inadequacy
P.30 - Or:
