Thanks to everyone who answered the submit helped to create this new edition!
I also thank my friend @jazbotnik, who was collaborating with me for the translation and design. And to Juv (Juvxii_ on Twitter) who helped us as a consultant.
This year is different and I hope you like the way it will be developed!
As an additional gift you have this free set of Stobotnik drawings that I used for this year's design! I hope you like it! 💖🍳
gator finding older tapes of eden!! he was rummaging through the attic and found them, of course he watched them, and it’s a clip of his baby girl waddling around the garden or something, and he hears you talking to her in the background. and she babbles to you like “dada?” and you’re like “he’s not here baby. you’ll have to wait for him” and he breaks when he sees his eden’s lip curl like she’s understanding the weight of his absence from a young age
extra from here again
a/n: hey, did you want me to friggin sob???????? also, i made it a camcorder to be slightly more accurate to the time but still nostalgic.
while you're out at work, and eden's out with friends (because that's the only place she ever is now), the loneliness starts to creep in on him a bit. he got used to it — being alone, and keeping himself entertained (mostly through alcohol), but now that he has you two back, the moments he doesn't feel all the more unbearable to get through.
he wanders up to the attic in hopes of finding literally anything else to do. he never had anything close to a hobby besides fixing things, and surely, that abandoned old attic has something he can put back together.
his original goal gets completely abandoned when the dust causes a violent coughing fit, which in turn knocks a bunch of boxes over. grunting, he lean down to collect the bits and pieces stored in them — eden's old toys, a stack of empty canvases and among them all, a camcorder. one he's never seen before.
his curiosity gets the better of him and he hits the little playback button on the machine. the first video is eden, maybe three years old, she's dressed with a tiara on her head, dancing in the living room to some radio pop song in the background. "come on eden, show daddy your dance." he can see your reflection in the television, your smile from ear to ear much like his very own as he watches the clip.
he scrolls through to see eden on a swing, you braiding eden's hair, the two of you seeing ponies, getting younger and younger in each clip. in every single one, you talk to her, laugh with her, the sweetness in her smile simply an extension of just how much sweetness you showed her that you never got. his two perfect girls.
gator's heart warms because that sweetness is his again. no more nights of bitter alcohol hitting the back of his throats and attempts to suppress memories much like the ones you'd spent years recording. he could keep those precious moments — teaching eden how to ride a bike, or sitting in a kiddie chair, pretending he hated when she did his makeup. he could make so many more.
he reaches one where she's a bit smaller now. maybe just shy of two. you're in the backyard in early winter, the snow still light enough that the two of you can wander around. eden stumbles through, her feet occasionally slipping but never enough to fall. you're right there even if she does. she sees a plant covered in a thick layer of white and points at it, looking to you in confusion. gator can't quite make out what her babbles mean, but you answer without missing a beat. "yeah, honey, that's snow."
"thnow." she repeats back, and you laugh at her little lisp.
all of a sudden, a rumble of a car engine can be heard as it speeds past the house. eden snaps up without missing a beat, a huge smile coming across her face. "daddy come?"
her toothless smile takes up half the screen, but he can't focus on it when he hears your stuttering. "not yet, baby. you'll have to wait for him."
he sees it instantly. the way her face darkens, and her lips curl into a frown. she doesn't cry, and that somehow makes it worse. it's like she knows that it isn't temporary, and crying won't change a thing.
and that idea shatters gator.
because it's true. oh, god, is it true, and he realizes it now. he must've just spent an hour scrubbing through video after video after video, and he wasn't in a single one. no matter how many times you told eden to "show daddy," or tell her how much gator would love something, he hadn't seen any of this either. maybe you'd tried to, but he was too busy in his own world that he hadn't even realized. he didn't even know this fucking camera existed.
something feels heavy in his chest when he thinks about it.
he spent many years wishing he could've known what went wrong, praying that he could've gone back in time and erased whatever it was he did. but seeing these videos, he understands. there wasn't one thing. it was years of this. unspoken words, and distance between you that only grew further and further with time. even now, he's crying about eden always being gone like it’s her fault. this time machine can’t erase an incident and put his family back on the right path.
but it can teach him, and make for goddamn sure, that there would never be another lens he doesn’t look through, or another memory he misses.
I laid down with the Devil. And he has roots in me. All his spindly roots in me. And I can’t think nothin’ anymore but his voice and his words!
Please! Help me!
