#here is a rant

[auditxre]

I am still replaying AC2 (it has been too long since the last time) and here are some more thoughts / things I love:

shoutout to the German voice of Leonardo for managing to say "Rodrigo Borgia" with so much ugh. That is the only right way to say that name. (also I love his voice so much, omg)

shoutout to whatshername and that cute little flirty moment when she gave Ezio his birthday present and then immediately switching to "have fun boys!" once Leonardo appears. Queen.

speaking of Ezio's birthday: I am sorry my boy, that you are feeling lonely and like a disappointment to your father but also maybe you should not have spent the last years cruising around Venice, only going home to your grieving family to pick up the money YOUR SISTER EARNED. Just saying. But maybe I am biased from a Claudia perspective.

this entire "I don't believe in the prophet" vs. "I am the prophet" that Ezio and Rodrigo have going on is inherently funny, because from a story perspective it is already clear that - ohh big twist - Ezio is the prophet. (And I say that as someone who hasn't played the game in a long time and completely forgot about the prophet). The confusion when everyone is appearing at the "battle" and Ezio has apparently spent the last 10 years never putting 1 and 1 together, me hanging on for dear life cause Borgia is refusing to die (because I am so bad getting back into the controls), all the while uncle Mario is taking the time to go "everyone look at my boy, look at how big and grown and strong he is". 10/10 scene.

Machiavelli.

I always dislike Shaun (and I am pretty sure he was written to be disliked, as an antagonistic or rival force to Desmond - and also I get you Shaun, I hated my new younger co-worker, too) and I thought I could not hate him more, but the fact that he is part of the research team and FORGOT ABOUT BORGIA BEING POPE??? that is like, the one thing you need to know. And it just kind of slipped his mind??

Niccolò friggin Machiavelli

I am good at sneaking. (I say with my whole chest although it took me six attempts to do the sneak part of the sequence before The Prophet scene and that was legit just climbing one (1) wall. And for every 20 hours I play I spend 5 minutes undercover, my stats do not lie)

[captaindibbzy]

Tailor your CV, healthcare is hiring, if you don't hear back in 3 days phone them, and ask your friends and family if they can get you a job =3.

This insults me so fucking much. Not least because this is the same advice I've been listening to for 10 years, but it dresses up the situation like "oh the jobs are there. You just need to do better."

The jobs are not there. 600,000 people are on the jobs market. Many of them have to be careful about not catching the virus.

I'm not going to work in healthcare, not least because I can't risk killing my family with coronavirus, but because when I did my trial day I ended up cleaning out old people's nails. I recognise this is important but no thank you.

There was a receptionist job at a hotel in Manchester and within 48 hours they had 1300 applications. They then took the job down. Do you know how you sort through 1300 job applications? It's certainly not by carefully reading each CV. And phoning up will not nessecerily get you noticed. It depends on the person answering the phone. If the message reaches the person who is incharge of hiring all it may do is get your CV thrown out for being annoying, or not "fitting with our workplace culture". You don't know these things.

It's fucking ridiculous that in a world where people want to work they can't do it and it's considered a failing of the person who wants to work not of the world around them.

[sixtyyfive]

Was in a bit of a pretty low mood for awhile so I pulled out my journal and started writing. so glad I bought this for myself and I can’t believe how much it’s already helped me. I (personally) believed having a journal was so overrated because I’d had one years before and it never helped, but with this one it’s different. I’m ready now.

---

When I originally bought the book itself a couple weeks ago I had spent like 15 minutes looking for the perfect one, spent another few minutes looking for the perfect pen. And when I write, I allow myself to block out the rest of the world and just dive head-first into the world of my notebook and all its beauty

It’s so moving to know that this tiny book can hold so many memories and thoughts of mine; I wanna make it special

[s00p-monster]

Trump’s building the wall

I’m so fucking angry. It’s difficult to explain how big of a scale this anger is operating on. You know when you have a bad day and it feels like the world is ending, then the next morning after you’ve slept for awhile you realize that what happened isn’t really THAT big of a deal and you move on with your life? This isn’t like that. I wake up the next morning, remember where the country is, and another layer of dread and stress settles quietly on top of my mind. It’s so fucking difficult to get on with your life when practically every single person I know, including myself, is threatened by the giant, uncaring, amorphous mass that is a country and its government. This isn’t just a fight with a friend or a dumb mistake at work. This is a governmentally validated attack on who my peers and I are as people.

The government always seems so big and mechanical that any action its responsible for should happen slowly. And sometimes it does. But this action is not happening slowly. And it is not being committed by a bureaucracy. It is the product of a relatively small group of hateful, ignorant, white men: Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Steve Bannon, Sean Spicer, etc. What are their objectives? Do they actually think they’re doing the right thing? Would they let Trump become a dictator if the opportunity presented itself? Do they have any remorse at all? Do they not understand the ramifications of their actions? Do they not comprehend how many people will die or have their livelihoods taken away by their hands? Obviously everyone is subconsciously racist/misogynistic/homophobic/etc, but how unapologetic is their hatred? How thinly veiled are their excuses? How do they sleep at night?

Who put them there? Who let them call the shots? How did his supporters not understand how cancerous Trump is? How were they so misinformed? How much do they agree with what he was saying and doing? How thinly veiled is their hatred? All the same questions apply to his supporters. If I see Ashley tonight I might scream. She has no excuse.

Part of me wants to talk about this and part of me wants to run away and avoid it. Everyone is so upset right now. The magnitude of the offenses and how fast they’re raining down is completely overwhelming. Every hour there’s a new crisis to discuss. And so we discuss, but we just run in circles, like chickens with our heads cut off. We’re completely powerless. We’re all so angry and scared and there’s no one to tell us it’s going to be alright.

I want to break things. I want to scream. I want to protest. I want to throw it in the faces of the people who are complicit in his actions and MAKE them understand. I want to lay it all out at their feet and watch the gravity of their mistakes sink in. I want an apology. I want a promise that we’ll never let something like this happen again.

[sacredsunrise]

Substance v Appearance

It’s only just come to my realisation how significantly one changes over a short period of time. Funnily enough, this suddenly occurred to me when I came back to tumblr recently, as the last time I used tumblr was on an old account in May of 2013. I had a gander of my blog and saw the change in my posts from when I first started blogging to how it appears now. The newest posts were pretty and easy on the eye, but it was the older posts that I resonated with! Why did I feel the sudden need to change my blog? Sure, it didn’t look like some of these beautiful modern, minimalistic blogs with pale photos of something with no meaning, or of gorgeously tanned girls in bikinis posing awkwardly, but it had meaning! What happened to the substance of my blog? I would much prefer to sacrifice a pretty looking blog filled with abstract nothingness for a blog that contains body, substance and individuality. Unfortunately, when I recreated my blog to look pale, modern and minimalistic, I noticed that I’d started to gain hundreds of new followers, and I wanted more! Is this what’s happening around us in the physical world? Why do people place so much emphasis on beauty? I, like most other women, enjoy looking nice when I attend classes and special occasions, and I generally take care of my personal appearance on a daily basis. But have we taken beauty and image too far? Is this something we have learned or become accustomed to throughout history? Perhaps it is our insecurities that make us feel the need to be constantly improving our outward appearance. Shouldn’t we be investing more time into learning to accept and love our natural state? This isn’t a big issue on a small scale, as the average woman goes through beauty rituals nearly every day. This is a small issue on a BIG scale. I know that there are far more pressing global matters to attend to, but shouldn’t there be more universal organisations that encourage women to embrace their body, natural beauty and promote self-worth? So many women use body and beauty as a measure of their self-worth, and this mentality is endorsing the cosmetic industry – it’s booming! Massive cosmetic companies know that women are too easily influenced by their tempting advertisements, and this doesn’t come as a surprise. Honestly, it’s incredibly difficult to leave the house or complete an errand without involuntarily witnessing an image of how we should look. This is the quiet pressure placed on young women today.

[frankiegirl]

I've been trying to do a lot of processing lately, so here's some results of that I guess?

For a really long time, I was really focused on what I did to cause this. What was so wrong with me that, yet again, I got left alone with myself. I wondered what other people had to that I couldn't offer anymore, even when I was literally giving it all I had, and getting nearly nothing in return.

But now. Now, I'm done asking what I did wrong, or what I could have done to make things different. Because I did nothing that I shouldn't have. In fact, I think I did too much. So now, I'm going trying to do something for myself; putting myself first in my life for once. 

And honestly, this is a weird feeling because I haven't done that in what, six years? And I don't really know how to put myself first. I like to care rather than be cared for. But I'm started to realize that I deserve to be cared for. That I don't always have to be the strong one, even if that's what I feel most comfortable doing. 

Everything is still so weird with me, but I guess I'm getting used to it. I;m excited to graduate now. I'm applying for jobs (a little late in the game, I know). I'm excited for summer. I'm excited to learn to drive. I'm excited to get out of here. I'm excited for a new start. I'm excited to start over. 

And I should probably be sorry if this seems a little rude and little pointed. It's not my intention, but I'm sure this will get read and mistaken. But I don't really care at this point. I guess the only thing is that I had hoped some things meant more to some people than they evidently do. But, it's fine. It's all fine. And I say that with feeling this time. They're not just words I'm using to try to cover up how I'm really feeling. 

It is all fine. And it is all going to be fine, because I am going to make it fine. And this feeling is a new and foreign one. But I like it. Very much. 

[bisexualelena]

At least I've seen no romaticization of torture on this side of fandom. I just found a post in the elena gilbert tag of Elena standing by Stefan tortured in 3x07 and one of the new stills from 4x21 and this caption:

My babies torturing each other… It’s so romantic.

So at least we aren't doing that.

But yeah, torture is gross and never okay. Let's not justify or romanticize it please.