I'm bored. So have a "gay or European" Skit but it's the suitors trying to determine if Telemachus is a boy kisser or not
Antinous: THERE RIGHT THERE! Look at that tanned, well tended skin!
Melanthius: Look at the feminine shape he's in, look at that slightly stubbly chin
Antinous: Oh, please, he's gay, Totally gay!
Amphinomus: I'm not about to celebrate, Every trait could indicate, A totally straight expatriate. This guy's not gay. I say not gay.
Suitor 1: That is the elephant in the room, Well, is it relevant to assume-
Suitor 2: That a man who wears perfume, Is automatically, radically fae?
Suitor 3: but look at those well groomed dark brown locks!
Suitor 2: and that scarf (my hc) he wears around!
Eurymachus:There's the eternal paradox, look what we're seeing
Suitors: what are we seeing?
Antinous: of course he's gay!
Eurymachus: or Hermes's descendant?
Suitors: Ohhhh.... Gay or Hermes's descendant? It's hard to guarantee, Is he gay or European?
A suitor who likes stealing shit: Well, hey, don't look at me!
Melanthius: well he does grow up being such a little shit in here
Melanthius: He steals food from the kitchens, and he is never blamed for it
Suitors: gay or thieve's god spawn? The answer could take weeks
Eurymachus: he could say things like "morning darling" While he steals all of you shit!
Antinous: ...*realizes* THAT BITCH-
Melanthius: gay or a Hermes spawn? So many shades of grey?
Suitor 1: depending on the time of day don't we all go either way?
Suitor 2: gay or Hermes spawn?
Suitor 3: gay or Hermes spawn?
Amphinomus: THERE RIGHT THERE! Look at that little smirk he wears, look at the way he sighs at the guard- the guy's not gay! I say, no way!
Antinous: That is the elephant in the room, Well is it relevant to presume
Amphinomus: That a hottie(...) in that costume, Is automatically, radically-
Swishily gay, gay, gay, gay!
*Telemachus passes by bowing down to a maid after he was helped with something, acting straight*
*chaos ensues aka I skip a few lines*
Antinous: yeah he kisses hands of maidens as respect but I'm pretty sure that's lipstick in his purse (He has a purse?) Shhh
Eurymachus: is he gay or Hermes spawn? Gay or just flamboyant? Gay or very-
*a suitor bangs the table* that's it! I have a plan to find if the closet had been glass or we have been hallucinating
Antinous: huh... Floor is yours
*Suitor A goes over to Telemachus in the edge of the room*
Suitor A: hellooo little wolf
Telemachus: the fuck you want?
Suitor A: I'll leave after you answer my question
Suitor A: so little wolf you wearing lipstick is true or-?
Telemachus: none of your business
Suitor A: and your full title again is?
Telemachus: Telemachus heir of Ithaca
Suitor A: and your boyfriend's name is?
*the suitors in earshot (all of them) gasps*
Telemachus: huh? Wait-! I heard you said best friend! Not boyfriend!
Suitor 1: *gasp* MANWHORE
