#hermit dads

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Pearl: *sneezes*

Impulse: CODE GREEN! CODE GREEN!

Tango, bursting in: I have DayQuil, NyQuil, and Vicks!

Skizz, running in after him: I have blankets, books, and chicken soup!

Pearl: Guys, it's just a cold . . .

[Elsewhere]

Grian: *sneezes*

Joel: Shut up I'm trying to build

[4mumbo]

throuple goals... Love U hermit dads

( reposting after finding out some boundaries Sorry If U already saw this D: )

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Impulse: So, what did we all do during the break between seasons?

Beef: I learned how to change a diaper one-handed!

Tango: I cleaned my whole house, top to bottom!

Doc: I taught Doccy how to use redstone lamps in a circuit, they're so smart

Joel, holding up LDShadowBaby: I made this.

Everyone:

Impulse: I will declare you the winner of this conversation if get to hold the baby

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Joel: My baby will be the coolest baby when she goes off to kindergarten because her parents are Minecraft YouTubers, which is the coolest job ever.

Cleo: . . . Do you want to tell him?

Joe, whose daughter thought that Minecraft was an "old people game" because her dad played it: Maybe later.

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Pearl: What was Joe like back when Hermitcraft first started?

Xisuma: Uhhh . . .

[Flashback to Season 1]

Joe, holding a MASSIVE box of baby photos: Who's ready for their daily dose of my baby girl!

Xisuma: Joe, I love you, and I am so glad that you're bonding with your daughter, but I will give £15 or $20 or whatever to your diaper fund if we can limit the photo sharing to one hour a day.

Joe: :(

[Present]

Xisuma, sweating: He was . . . He was very enthusiastic.

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Doc: Guys, for the last time, I only have one child and it's Doccy!

Scar: Uh, I think we lost Gem again.

Doc: YOU LOST MY BABY?!

Impulse: SHE'S TWENTY-EIGHT! AND NOT YOUR CHILD!

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Tango, answering his phone at midnight: Hello?

Doc: Hey man, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?

Tango: . . . Sure?

Doc: Little Doccy can't sleep; could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? They love listening to my recordings of your audio, but I'm having technical difficulties and can't get to them.

Tango, nearly in tears from the cuteness: . . . Little Doccy listens to us to fall asleep?

Doc: Yeah, but they really like you specifically. They call you the Dumb-Dumb Mister. Heh, I guess "Dungeon Master" is a little hard for a kid that age.

Tango: Oh, wow. Yeah, if it'll help them sleep, for sure.

Doc: Thanks! Okay, give me a second to put you on speaker.

Tango, on speakerphone: Hi, Doccy, it's Tango!

Little Doccy: Der Tango! Dumb-Dumb Mister!

Tango: Are you ready for a story about the first time your dad got to the Burning Dark?

Little Doccy: *incomprehensible happy squeals*

[30 minutes later]

Tango, in the Hermitcraft group chat: GUYS I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE CALLED A DUMB-DUMB

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Doc, wearing a dark robe: State your name.

Beef: . . . VintageBeef?

Doc: Brother Joe, proceed.

Joe, also wearing a dark robe: VintageBeef! Venerable newcomer of the Bloodied Apron, you have been called forth to the summit of Magic Mountain to join with us in the fraternal bonds of fatherhood.

Beef: What?

Tango: We want to welcome you into the Dad Club, man.