Second year in a row I am blessed to have @hersilentlanguage as my person in the @descendantsgiftexchange. It’s also the second year where your REAL Christmas gift (an angsty Jay-centric OT4 fic) is not done because I have no time management skills and just no time in general lol.
Instead, have another ‘I’m Sorry Your Christmas Gift Isn’t Ready Yet’ gift!
Summary: Evie is hosting a Christmas party and demands that her castle be clean - including the people who live in it. It’s going to take a Christmas miracle for Evie, Mal and Carlos to give werewolf!Jay a bath.
---
“We should be hosing him down in the backyard.”
“That was our plan a couple of years ago, remember? He runs farther than the hose can reach.”
“Let’s get this over with then. Is the door reinforced?”
Mal mumbles and waggles her fingers at the doorway for a moment. “It is now.”
Jay, who has been watching them, begins to growl. He had been brought into the master bathroom when Evie had asked for his help with cleaning up for the party, her big brown eyes and fluttering lashes made it impossible for anyone to say no.
But the door had swung shut as soon as Evie pulled him in, revealing Mal and Carlos behind the door, the bathtub full of warm water and a row of scentless soaps and a plethora of towels.
“Oh, Jay.” Evie coos and wraps her arms around him. “It’s okay, I promise. We’ll make this quick.” She kisses his nose and his anxious features relax. “As fast as can be.”
“I’m not...I’m not taking...a bath.” He doesn’t pull away from Evie, but he does glare at the water as if it did something horrible already.
“Just keep using your words, dear. We’ll talk you through everything.” Evie tries to pull him to the tub, but he doesn’t move.
“You smell like garbage.” Mal tells him, much less sing-songy than Evie’s voice. “You can’t smell like that at the party tomorrow.” She grabs Jay’s other hand and begins to tug him along.
Jay refuses to budge. “No bath.”
Carlos pops up behind him and digs his fingers into Jay’s side, tickling his ribs and make Jay squirm. “Come on, it’ll be so fast. There’s no smells in any of the stuff. We’ll soap you up, shampoo you, rinse you and we’ll be done.”
Between the three of them, they have moved the werewolf a whooping six inches closer to the tub.
“Why is our - ugh - bathroom so - agh - damn big?” Mal grunts as she yanks on Jay’s arm.
“Not. The. Time.” Evie’s feet are nearly sliding on the floor as she throws all her weight toward the bath.
“Jay!” Carlos shoves at his back and nudges him a few more inches forward. “Seriously!”
As they near the tub, Jay growls and doesn’t respond to their words.
“We’re officially,” Mal stops to pant, “non-verbal. I think.”
“Good.” Evie wipes at the sweat forming on her face. She’ll be showering closer to the party itself. “Less attitude to deal with.”
“That’s funny coming from a succubus.” Carlos would stick his tongue out at Evie, but he’s already tired and it’s only been a few minutes. He rests his head against Jay’s trembling back. “I think I’m just going to tackle him into the tub.”
“You think that’s a good idea?” Mal asks.
“I think all of this is a bad idea.” Carlos gestures around to the room, and probably outside of it, as he was not keen on the idea of hosting any party at all, but saying no to Evie is never really an option. “But my bad idea will help this bad idea be over with faster.”
The tub is large and deep, a major requirement when Evie was still castle shopping. She needs a place to soak in her bubble baths and bath salts and essential oils. She also needs a place to bathe a very uncooperative werewolf, but she hadn’t mentioned that part to the realtor.
“They’ll be quick, they’ll be fast,
Cushion their fall with a splash.”
Mal chants as she holds one arm and Evie holds the other, effectively securing Jay in place for just a moment as Carlos dashes forward into Jay’s back and sends them both careening into the tub.
Jay howls as he falls forward into the water, Carlos falling in with him. The water is still warm and Mal’s spell saves any injury, but the shock of water and wet clothes keeps it from being a pleasant trip.
“Move, move, move!” Evie rushes forward with Mal, dropping to their knees by the tub. She specifically told Jay to wear old clothes he didn’t care about because they would ‘get messy and sweaty with all the cleaning’ before the party. (The logic was only halfway there, but she had kissed Jay in gratitude, so he didn’t question her.) Evie picks up the scissors she had stashed behind the toilet and makes quick work of ridding Jay of his old shirt.
Mal squirts shampoo into her hands and tries to lather it into Jay’s hair, but he thrashes. Carlos is still clinging to his back, preventing Jay from grabbing onto the sides of the tub to stand, and offering what distractions he can, like stroking Jay’s neck and peppering his shoulder with kisses.
“Stay still, damnit!” Mal snaps as she leans over the tub to reach Jay. She is soaked already, the splash of the boys falling into the tub had gotten everywhere, but she also had made sure to wear clothes she didn’t care about - an old Auradon Prep t-shirt and some baggy shorts she often wore while painting - because Jay’s claws tended to make an appearance during times like these. Mal scrubs the shampoo into his scalp, ignoring the way Jay flashes his teeth at her. She knows him well enough to call him on his bluff.
(And because Jay knows if he bites her, she will bite right back.)
“You’re doing such a good job!” Carlos squeezes Jay’s shoulders. He is no match for Jay’s strength, but he clings to his shoulders and lessens how much Jay can fight this. “Good boy, Jay!”
The praise is lost as Jay continues to growl and flail in the water.
“Did he get this feral last time we gave him a bath?” Evie asks as she begins to work on cutting through Jay’s pants. He’s writhing too much for her to want to hold anything sharp near him, so she makes a fast cut at his waistline and rips the rest of the way down with her hands.
“The last couple of times,” Mal grunts as Jay makes a half-hearted attempt to bite at her hands, “we just took him swimming in the enchanted lake.”
“That’s it?”
“Well, I’ve been - don’t even fucking think about biting me - using some cleaning spells on him too.”
“So when’s the last time he got a real bath?”
Mal freezes in thought, as do Carlos and Evie. The only sound is Jay’s growling from deep in his throat.
“Fuck, before the summer, at least.” Mal offers.
“Maybe late May?” Carlos furrows his brow in thought.
Evie looks nearly sick. “And we’ve been sharing a bed with someone who hasn’t bathed in months?”
“He cleans himself in wolf form!” Mal argues as she leans toward Jay to finish up his hair. He dodges her hands and snarls a few times before Mal sighs and yells “fuck it” and gracelessly joins him and Carlos in the tub. “Hold him,” she instructs Carlos as she stands in the water, so small that she hardly towers over Jay even as he sits, and scrubs the shampoo into his hair with a new vigor.
“Hold on!” Carlos grunts. “He’s tensing, he’s about to sha-!”
Jay whips his hair wildly, his whole body vibrating as he shakes in Carlos’ grasp. Water and suds and shampoo bubbles are sent flying into the already disastrous bathroom. Carlos hides his face in Jay’s back, shaking with Jay, and Mal shields her face and groans as her t-shirt is further soaked.
Evie, however, yelps loudly and turns her face away. “Shit! Ow!”
Mal lowers her arms. “E?”
“Damnit, shampoo!” She goes to wipe at her face, but her hands are covered in soapy water from cutting Jay’s pants off. “Towel, please!”
Mal awkwardly shuffles out of the tub, slipping on the wet floor, and reaches for a towel and shoves it into Evie’s flailing hands. “Shampoo in your eyes? Are you okay?”
Whatever Evie’s response was, it is cut off by Jay’s vicious snarl as he lunges for the shampoo bottle on the edge of the tub. Carlos is dragged along with him, helplessly trying to keep Jay still, as Jay snatches the bottle in his mouth and shakes it like he could kill it.
“Don’t eat the shampoo!” Carlos shouts as he tries to wrench it out of Jay’s mouth unsuccessfully.
Mal hops back into the tub, also trying to pry the bottle from Jay. “Bad boy!” She yells and tries not to slip in the tub as she wrestles the shampoo from Jay, Carlos helping by digging his fingers into Jay’s jaw and loosening the grip he has. With one hard yank, Mal rips the bottle from his mouth.
Jay makes a noise that isn’t quite human, but isn’t quite feral, and licks the roof of his mouth several times and snarls.
“You punctured the bottle, dumbass!” Mal inspects the little holes at the bottom. “How does it taste? It looks like it tastes like shit.”
Jay growls at the bottle in Mal’s hands, still trying to get the taste of shampoo off his tongue. He’s still now, entirely focused on the evil bottle, no longer fighting Carlos or trying to free himself.
Evie, with red and watery eyes, sets her towel down. “My big, scary protector.” She murmurs, voice cracking. It had stung more than she thought. “You really showed that shampoo who’s in charge, didn’t you?” She reaches for Jay’s shoulder and smiles at him.
Jay turns away from the bottle and to Evie, his growling now silent and his eyes are big and sad. He whines and nuzzles into Evie’s hand.
“No more shaking, okay? Let us finish this.”
He doesn’t agree, the English language lost on him at this time, but he doesn’t move as Mal finishes shampooing his hair and turns on the faucet to get clean water to dump on his head. She is slow and gentle as she moves, an attitude she’s grown more accustomed to in Auradon, making sure to tilt Jay’s head back and shield his eyes.
Carlos loosens his hold on Jay, still sitting close behind him, and hands Evie the scentless body wash. “You’re being very good right now,” Carlos tells him, “a great wolf. You’re even being better than Dude right now.” He kisses Jay’s temple.
Jay’s new good behavior isn’t perfect. He only lets Mal rinse his hair a few times before beginning to growl again and Mal decides that her work is good enough. Whatever shampoo is left in their will dry eventually, right? She got most of it anyway.
Evie makes quick work of his shoulders and back, and Jay only fights her a little bit on lifting his arms and letting her scrub him.
They all know if they allow Jay to stand so they can clean his legs, he’ll just try to escape, so Mal takes a washcloth and scrubs his calves and thigh and feet. “I don’t get paid enough for this.” She grumbles.
“You’re getting paid in the chocolate dipped strawberries I got for the party.”
“Oh... I didn’t know we were saving those for the party.”
“Mal!”
“Shhhh,” Carlos shushes them and Jay, who is growing impatient again. “We’re almost done, right?” He scratches behind Jay’s ears. “Is there anything else?”
“I want to do a leave-in conditioner.” Evie eyes the split ends of Jay’s ear with irritation, “but...I think we can let him out of the tub.”
Jay doesn’t wait for anything more, jumping out of Carlos’ grip and diving over the side of the tub. He lands in a mess of limbs and water and unruly hair and snaps his teeth as a warning before shaking again.
Mal, Carlos and Evie all cover their faces this time as Jay continues to shake. Nothing in the bathroom is dry, not the walls or the mirror or the mountain of towels laid out.
Carlos unplugs the drain and lets the water rush out and Evie gives him a hand as he steps out of the tub, Mal following him.
“Are any of those towels salvageable?” Mal asks. “Do we even bother drying him off?”
Jay whines and scratches at the door, still not back to his level-headed self. Well, as level-headed as Jay ever is.
Evie sighs. “No, we still have to clean anyway.” She marches over to Jay, only slipping a few times. She puts a hand on his head and forces him to look at her. “You stay off my furniture until you’re dry, got it?”
Jay blinks at her.
“Good enough.” Evie unlocks the door and opens it and Jay runs down the hallway, still naked and wet and wild.
“Let’s all...take a rest before we clean everything up.” Carlos looks at them with tired eyes and the girls agree.
“Did we lock the doors to the outside?” Evie asks quickly.
Carlos and Mal look at each other, then at Evie.
“Jay!”
---
Thankfully, Jay in this state of mind can hardly figure out door handles, let alone locks. They find him pacing by the front door, eyeing the outdoors through the window.
“No rolling in dirt for at least a week!” Evie scolds him. They are wet footprints all down the halls and kitchen and foyer, but she doesn’t care at this point. They’re out of the bathroom and Jay is starting to lose that wild look in his eyes. “Come sit in the living room, let me brush your hair.”
Jay refuses to leave the window for several minutes. As his breathing evens out and he stops pacing, his words come back in spurts.
“You guys...suck.”
“And you smelt like you rolled in dog shit.” Mal fires back. She has stripped of her wet clothing and opted for a dry bathrobe, purple of course, with horns on the hood. “Now you smell just as bad as every other dude on the planet.”
“I don’t smell!” Carlos panics and sniffs his shirt, which smells like wet dog, and he blanches.
“No, C. You are the exception.” Evie pats his shoulder sweetly. “Come on, Jay. Let’s go do your hair.”
Jay allows Evie to pull him away from the window, whining at his chance of freedom. They all pile onto the carpet in the living room, where their Christmas tree sits in the corner. Evie had wanted a giant one, as tall as the ceiling, to decorate with tinsel and ornaments and candy canes, but Carlos had shyly picked out a smaller tree, with some branches missing and some naked spots, and said Evie could make anything beautiful. She had accepted the challenge and now their tree, no taller than Mal or Carlos, has a elegant skirt at the bottom and bright lights on the branches and star crafted by Mal herself at the top.
The four of them sit down on the towels placed out in preparation. Evie picks up her brush and settles behind Jay. She had even thought ahead to grab the conditioner she wanted to use on him, also scentless. She massages it into Jay’s scalp and he groans. “Such a pretty boy,” Evie tells him. “All clean and handsome. You’re going to look fantastic tomorrow.”
Carlos sits in front of Jay and rubs their faces together. It’s not an action that means anything to him, but Jay likes to nuzzle them, to scent them. “You did very good.”
“No, he didn’t. He did terrible.” Mal scoffs, but sits next to Jay. “But we love you anyway.”
“I didn’t smell that bad.”
“Yes, you did.”
“You really did.”
“It was pretty bad.”
Jay scoffs. “Whatever, you guys just don’t appreciate musk.”
Evie begins to brush his hair, evenly distributing the conditioner. “Well, it’s all behind us now. We can dry the castle and focus on cleaning and then we can all snuggle tonight.”
“Wait, is that why you guys haven’t let me spoon you?” Jay turns his head to look at Evie. “Because I stunk?”
“I mean...yeah.” Mal tells him with a shrug. “But now you don’t stink, so now we can sleep like normal.”
“Oh.” Jay is silent for a moment, like he might be offended. “Okay.”
“And tomorrow, we’ll have all of the new Isle kids and some Auradon friends over and tons of food and presents for everyone.” Evie pulls Jay’s hair back. “It’s going to be the best Christmas party ever.”
“And we’ll get more chocolate covered strawberries.”
“I will get more chocolate covered strawberries and hide them from you.” Evie points her brush at Mal.
“And we can all take a picture in front of the Christmas tree in our outfits.” Carlos tells them proudly. He and Evie have been working on their clothes for weeks. “And we’ll all look great and we’ll have a great picture and a great party to remember it by.”
“And I’m going to get an extra present for the bullshit I had to put up with.” Jay tells them all, shivering as Evie pulls his hair back into a loose braid.
“Yeah, right.” Mal rolls hey eyes. “Us going through that bullshit to make you look presentable was our Christmas gift to you.” She flicks Jay’s nose and he playfulls bites at her fingers. “You do look very handsome already.” Mal tells him after studying his face solemnly.
Jay sits up straighter and preens.
“Gorgeous.” Carlos nods.
“Perfect!” Evie tells him and hugs him from behind. “Now let’s work on getting you dressed and setting up. We have a party to throw!”
---
This ended up being waaaaay fluffier than I expected!
@hersilentlanguage you bring so much positivity and light into the fandom, I hope this gift shows how much I (and so many others) appreciate you!
Maybe next year, I’ll have your actual gift from 2020 up!!
