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[finitevoid]

A Study in an Utter Lack of Regard for Personal Safety, featuring Mal Bertha and Carlos De Vil

“I don’t know why I agreed to this,” Mal says.

“Yes, you do,” Carlos replies, hefting the duffel bag over his shoulder. It clinks dangerously as he moves, and she eyes it with suspicion.

And, okay, he has a point. Mal may be the leader of this gang, but if Carlos said ‘jump’, Mal would say, ‘how high?’. It’s a side effect of all the gang activity; you learn to trust each other with things that normal people have never even thought to trust another person with.

“Okay, revise: I don’t know what we’re doing here.”

Carlos meets her eye, gaze as sharp as she’s ever seen it. He smirks like an Isle boy, wide and wicked, and says, “Science.”

“Science?”

“Just trust me.”

Without anymore preamble whatsoever, Carlos begins traipsing through the woods. With single-minded purpose, he stomps over the weeds and roots, directly into the belly of the beast. Mal swears, rushing to follow.

“I just don’t understand what kind of science,” she smacks at a branch before she can run right into it, “we’re going to be doing in the Enchanted Forest.”

“The magical kind,” Carlos says, not pausing in his trek. “That’s why I brought you.”

“Isn’t that a contradiction?”

He abruptly stops. She nearly runs into him from behind. He whirls around on his heel and says, “No, it’s not. There’s actually an entire field of scientific study here in Auradon dedicated to the way magic interacts with things like biology and chemistry. And cosmology, but that’s more philosophical… Anyway, you,” he sticks an accusatory finger into her face. “didn’t tell me that there’s a special magic lake that washes away curses!”

Keep reading

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey if you have a pet or pets you need to reblog this rn and tell me in the tags what their names are. bonus points for including what kind of animal.

[mycroftinthemindpalace]

Thanks for the tag @telli1206! I’ve been away for a while. 

Fav Color: Green and purple (Mal would approve)

Currently Reading: “The House in the Cerulean Sea” and “Through the Perilous Night” - I usually read one fiction and one non-fiction at a time

Last Song: Cold as Ice Foreigner 

Last Movie:"Thirteen Lives” on repeat

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Sweet! My coffee is basically just warm sugar

Working On: a random Marauders fic that popped into my head after scrolling by a Harry Potter meme

Tagging if you haven’t been already and if you want to: @hersilentlanguage and @hug-a-mermaid

[mycroftinthemindpalace]

When will I learn to stop watching shows like Stranger Things when I am alone before bed?

[fangorn-forest]

vampire vs. skeleton. what's the vampire gonna do? suck blood the skeleton doesn't have?? on the other hand werewolf vs. skeleton would not be so good. all those bones.

[radiofreederry]

Reblog with your animal. It’s toucans for me

[idiefordescendants]

foxes

[mycroftinthemindpalace]

Cats or elephants

[likeawildthing]

forget saving the wizarding world, naming his firstborn after them, heading the auror office, etc., I would love to see the reunion/conversation in which dead Harry tries to explain to his dad and godfather that he named his other son after snape

[persephoneed]

#he saved me dad #he sold you out to fucking voldemort son #he loved mum dad #so did our cat you wanna name a kid after him harry #he spied for dumbledore dad #he participated in mass murder and only switched sides because he felt guilty for causing your mum’s death son #he was the bravest man i ever knew dad #that is because you didn’t know me you tosser (via prongsmydeer)

[its-hp-bitch]

Harry: Where’s Sirius? I thought he’d want to see me?

James: he’s crying Harry. look at what you’ve done

[fiti-vation]

[ernasd]

oh this is a life saver

[gallusrostromegalus]

So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO:  if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive.  Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.

Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.

[petermorwood]

Making basic storecupboard or fridge ingredients less basic and more nutritious.

[finitevoid]

Carlos angled himself in what he thought was the correct position. “Like this?”

Mal nodded seriously, purple-tipped blond hair waving with the action. “Yeah. Now just—“ she leaned back against the lockers, looking up at him expectantly.

Carlos eyed his own arm warily, then the lockers; eventually, he sighed and steeled himself for this. When she’d asked he’d first been confused, then baffled. But, she was insistent, and knew he’d go along with it. With another huff, he drew his arm back and slammed his palm against the lockers. Just above her shoulder, right beside her head.

“I am way too short for this,” he observed, but she was stifling laughter, cheeks flushed in amusement. He raised his eyebrows. “You like this? You— you enjoy this?” She wiped all expression off her face and glared at him putridly. But she was clear as crystal for all he could see through her bullshit. “Be honest.” He added.

She gritted her teeth and admitted, “Yes.”

“What,” he gestured with his free hand. “What emotion causes this? Because if you want to be close to me you could’ve, like, asked for a hug—“

“You don’t have to psychoanalyze me, De Vil.” She rolled her eyes.

“I do not deserve the ‘De Vil’ treatment for asking an honest question—“

“Oh, shut up!”

“—does it make you feel safe? Is that what it is? Because I can still literally just hug you—“

“Hey, guys?” Chittered over the voice of one Ben Florian, the legal owner of Carlos’ dog. And boyfriend to the girl he was currently… doing… whatever this was, to. He was dressed in a baby blue pressed shirt that was perfectly ironed and was smiling cheerily, if a bit… strained. “Can I talk to Mal for a second?”

And, honestly, right, Carlos had spent ten minutes trying to figure out whatever the hell this is, and like, okay. Mal is Ben’s girlfriend. But Mal was… part of Carlos’ gang, which definitely took precedence over… dating or whatever. Isle kids stay together and all that sappy shit. And Mal was kinda doing this like, weirdly vulnerable thing with him, and Ben couldn’t take a hint to save his life, bless his heart, so it was really easy for Carlos to give Ben an utterly flat look and say, “No.”

Ben’s face flashed with surprise, but then he pulled his lips into that grimace-smile thing that all the white guys in Auradon did. He snapped his fingers and flashed them an awkward double thumbs up and said, “Uh, okay. I guess I’ll…?”

“I’ll see you at lunch.” Mal did that thing where she smiled like the Auradon girls did at Ben and it was only then that his smile turned genuine in reply, soft and fond. His expression soured a little after another moment.

“Yeah, didn’t want to interrupt anything private, haha,” he forced a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, see you later, Mal. Bye… Carlos.” And with that he scurried off down the hall.

There was a silence. Carlos didn’t move a muscle. Finally, he said, “I get it now.”

Mal burst out laughing.

[aish-rai]

INVENTING ANNA (2021) → 1x08 Too Rich for Her Blood

“I wish I had your zen. You’re not angry at all?”

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

What if when we were born we were each assigned a Wikipedia page like a social security number would that be fucked up or what

[dragontatoes]

do you mean a wikipedia page about us? or do you mean some baby is arbitrarily given the rights and responsibilities to update the paramecium article?

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

ok I did mean a Wikipedia page about us. But keep talking I like where you’re headed

[peregrineggsandham]

What's your government-assigned Wikipedia page? (No rerolls. I am in charge of "1929 in Wales" now. Not a great year, some bad floods in November.)

[delvinganddrawing]

So, I’m watching LOTR for the first time and decided to rate each member of the fellowship as seen in The Fellowship of the Ring. Pls keep in mind that this review is objectively correct and completely factual. I will not be taking any constructive criticism at this time.

 Aragorn: literally perfect in every way which I think should dock him a point but I will let it slide. Potentially the only competent person alive on middle earth. Does the right thing always. 10/10  

Sam: most competent hobbit by FAR. Has a heart made of the purest gold. I want to kiss him. 22/10

Frodo: taking points away because I think people are too nice to him. Keeps trying to give the ring to ppl bc he just trusts whoever the tallest person in the room is. Hogs the magic items. Only person to figure out the “friend” puzzle and I think he is neat so 7/10

Merry: I like that he always corrects pippin but is never actually mean to him. Srs bsnss face lot of the times, looks a little too angry for someone who can’t fight for shit. 7/10

Pippin: I like him :3 11/10

Boromir: yeah he loses points for being a dick but he is the one true hobbit ally. More scenes of him holding a hobbit than not. Wasn’t able to save them :(( but he inspired Aragorn to realize that men and Gondor are worth saving and to believe in his own strength. has a nice smile. 7/10

Gimli: he’s hot but so far that’s about it ! Himbo thinks he can destroy the ring w an axe which is very sexy but also useless. most fuckable party member by far. 8/10

Legolas: just fucking prances around like a useless twink. His elf eyes haven’t helped us for shit so far. Very obvious that he COULD be more competent and chooses not to. He is pretty. 9/10

Gandalf: shittiest wizard I’ve ever seen. Casts like NO spells. Lost in the wizard battle. Didn’t know the answer to the puzzle he led them too. Has so much knowledge he refuses to share. Probably high. 4/10

[waterlilyvioletfog]

I love how all the students at the Scholomance spend like eight months with no fucking clue why Mr Big Shot Hero Orion Lake is dating loner weirdo El and then halfway through The Last Graduate they’re like “oh I see. They’re both fucking bonkers in the exact same way”

[velmafromscoobydoomarryme]

if i got a dollar every time i've read a naomi novik scholomance book that has ended on a cliffhanger and sent me into a spiral about orion lake i would have 2 dollars which is not a lot but it's infuriating that it happened twice

[avocant]

okay so I'm having a debate with my flatmates

are these all different things and if so what do you call them

[taishaunas]

LUKE KIRBY as LENNY BRUCE THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL | SEASON 4

[askauradonprep]

Ben: Omg these poor children must be miserble 🥺

Mal: Grafitti

Evie: Making everyone question their sexuality

Jay: Stealing

Carlos: Trying his best bless him

Can't be miserable if they dunno what they're missing.

[auradons-trash-heap]

Carlos: literally using the trash Auradon provided to the Isle to build a device capable of ripping a small hole in the Isle barrier just for shits & giggles & bc he and Evie wanted to get signal for more tv/radio stations

[myshitnothingtoseehere]

I mean...

[the-ocean-night]

actually think all the core four could kill god but Carlos just has this chaotic energy

[askauradonprep]

Carlos is too clever by half for his own good. XD