TW: Drug and alcohol use. Mentions of drugs and alcohol use by minors.
Marjiuana is legal in my country. It has been for a while.
I’ve always been very nervous about things in my life. Not anything in specific, just things in general. I had spend so long being repressed by my parents, I had cotten it in my head that drugs = bad and since marjiuana = drug, QED marjiuana = bad.
Today, I decided to do something out of the ordinary and purchase a (legal) chocolate bar from the pot store and try it out!
So, I am currently high for the very first time in my life! (I’m in my late 20s)
I had an idea that I thought was brilliant at the time to write Wolfstar fan fiction about Remus getting high for the first time WHILE I was high and see what happened!
I also decided that I’m going to POST IT. Without editing it! (Pure, unadulterated chaos!!!) Now, for your viewing pleasure, the ramblings of a T on Pot. I have no idea if this is good or not. I haven’t read through it yet. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow, read this, regret it and delete it. But until then... enjoy!
((I’m sorry if it’s terrible!!!))
((I am also currently still high while typing this, so I apologize for any errors!!))
Remus had never consumed marjiuana before. Growing up, his parents had been very strict with what kinds of medication he was allowed to consume, particularly in regards to his lycanthropy. “You don’t know how it will affect the wolf, Remus.” “You don’t know what will happen…” “We can’t predict how the wolf will react…”
Magic had always been the go-to remedies for colds or maladies; Muggle drugs were never to be trusted in the LUpin home.
So when Remus got drunk for the first time, he made sure that his friends were around to help him through the experience.
Now, in his seventh year of school, Remus finally built up enough courage to ask his friends to, once-again, monitor Remus while he was testing the waters.
Remus sat with the three other Marauders, staring at the brownie in his hand.
“Are you sure this is safe?” he groaned, internally terrified of what may happen. The scent of the brownie wafted through the air, and Remus cursed his wolfish senses as his mind began convincing him that this might be worth it for the chocolate alone.
“”Yeah, I’m sure, Moons…” Sirius teased, licking his lips like a cartoon wolf sizing up a prized pig as he stared at his own brownie.
“Yeah, Pads and I have done this hundreds of times!” James chimed in, already half way through his. “It’s fine!”
“You’re not werewolves,” Remus grumbled as he turned to Peter. “You’re the sensible one, Wormy. What do you think?”
Peter stared at Remus for a moment before breaking out into a smile.
“I say fuck it!” he said, taking a bite out of his own brownie. “You only live once, Moons!”
Remus closed his eyes, took a bite from his brownie, chewed and swallowed.
No big bang, no swirling in his brain, no sudden rush of feeling.
“It’s… not working?” He said, turning to Sirius.
“Give it a bit, Moons! It takes time to work! It’s like alcohol!”
“Okay,” Remus said with a shrug, finishing the rest of his brownie. “So… what do I do until then?”
Sirius shrugged, but his smirk gave him away. He sat back onto the pillows and blankets that they had dragged to the ground, his head resting precariously close to Remus’ lap. He grinned up at Remus before reaching for his wand and giving a lazy flick into the air.
Sirius’ record player began to spin, and All Along the Watchtower began playing, filling the entire room and seeping into Remus’ bones.
Remus laid back on the pillows, his head next to Sirius’. He closed his eyes and let Hendrix drift through his mind, trying not to let Sirius’ scent drive him crazy.
Remus didn’t feel anything.
He didn’t think it was even working.
The boys had spent the next hour talking, chatting, chilling, as they usually do on Saturday evenings. They talked about girls (James complaining about Lily), boys (Sirius’ trists with that Ravenclaw boy), and everything in between (Peter’s insistence that, yes, James, he is still Asexual. And no, James, he doesn’t need to double check.)
Remus didn’t notice the time passing as he laid on the pillows next to his friends, for the first time in his life actually being able to participate fully. They normally spend evenings hanging out in the middle of the room. James and Sirius always got high. They had since they had discovered Muggle weed last year. Peter had partaken on occasion, but usually insisted that he preferred a couple of beers over weed. Remus, on the other hand, remained sober all night, watching his friends fall into various states of inebriation, testing their limits, seeing new sides of themselves.
Remus smiled to himself, thinking about how much fun it is to participate, even if he didn’t know what being high felt like yet.
“What’re you smiling about?”
Sirius’ voice was practically a purr in Remus’ ear, and he felt his heartbeat quicken.
“M’not… Not really. Just… happy to be here with you lads....”
“Mmm, same, Moons. Happy to be here… Today’s a good day to be alive…”
“That’s a weird thing to say…” Remus rolled over and looked at Sirius.
Was Sirius always that handsome? Did his eyes always sparkle silver in their conjured lights? Did his hair always look that soft and touchable? What would happen if Remus touched it? Was his skin always so pale, so milky while, Remus had to resist leaning over and tasting it. Remus edged his arm over slightly, comparing his own freckle-dusted arm to Sirius’. One was slender and perfect and tattooed and lovely. One was broken and scarred and ugly.
It was no wonder Sirius never noticed Remus.
Sirius’ voice distracted Remus from his thoughts.
I can see for miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…
The Who was playing in the background and Remus watched as Sirius’ head bobbed up and down to the music, a wide grin spread across his perfect cheeks.
“I mean you’re thinkin’ of stuff. We all are… I am… That’s what makes things so cool when you’re high… You think of stuff…”
Remus blinked. What was Sirius even saying? What had he been doing? Was he thinking? He seemed to be thinking…
His brain felt like the needle was skipping across the record. Or that more than one record was playing at a time. Everything that was said out loud was one record in one player, and a vision of him talking to Sirius from a bird’s eye view was another record. And the way the music blended into his brain was another record.
Was this what being high was?
“I’m thinking of the music… I guess. And… Mrs. Robinson…”
“Ha ha! That’s that one Hufflepuff chick, ya?”
“What? No… it’s… coo coo ca choo?” Remus closed his eyes. His mind was feeling a bit foggy.
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes…
“Oh! Yeah! Jesus holds a place for those who pray…”
“Hey hey hey!” James’ voice came from miles away. Or across the room. To Remus, it felt like both at once.
“Yeah,” Remus said with a grin, rolling over onto his left side to face Sirius. “Coo coo choo, Mrs. Robinson….”
“BOYS!” Peter hollered from the other side of the room. “Hot Blooded! This is my jam!”
Remus grinned, listening as the sound of guitar filled the room. He tapped along to the song, watching Sirius watch the ceiling.
“What are you thinking about, Pads?”
Sirius tilted his head towards Remus and gave a wink.
“That I’m hot blooded,” he said, his tongue resting on his fang.
“Pfftt… You’re just a horny mutt…” Remus teased. He felt an immediate pang of regret as Remus realized that Sirius was likely horny for a certain Ravenclaw boy.
“Mmm, bet you are too. Not that you’d ever date anyone… But I bet you’re real bad, Moons… “
Remus rolled his eyes, trying to keep his heart from exploding from his chest with terror. Why was Sirius talking about how horny Remus was? That wasn’t something Sirius ever talked about.
“You know how it is… not allowed. The whole… furry little problem…”
Oooh, I’m picking up good vibrations, oooh she’s giving me excitations…
“I’ve told you, just date one of us…”
Remus chuckled, trying not to show how much he wished he could.
“Oh yeah, James would totally ditch Lily for me,” Remus teased, listening to the Beach Boys suddenly start the quiet part of Good VIbrations.
“I didn’t say date James…”
“Oh, Sorry… Peter then… Yup. That seems like a great idea…”
Good good good good vibrations!!
“Are those really your only choices?”
Sirius was on his side at this point, facing Remus head-on, giving a sly grin.
Normally, Remus would laugh this off as a joke and change the subject. Perhaps talk about the fact that Sirius had American Woman on his magical mixed-record.
Today was different though. Today, Remus was feeling a little bolder. A little dizzier. A little more capable of looking at the situation differently.
Most days, from the very beginning of his life, Remus had been taught to be small, demure, less than other people. He knew not to make waves or say what was on his mind, because he was not to draw attention to himself. Today, for the first time in his entire life, Remus was starting to understand what it felt like to be a normal person. Someone who wasn’t a werewolf. Someone who didn’t grow up being told that they had to hide themselves because of societal pressures. Today, he could suddenly just say whatever he thought and felt and there was absolutely nothing keeping him from saying it.
“I can’t very well date you, Padfoot. What would that poor Ravenclaw boy do without you in his life?”
“Who, Spencer? Nah, we were never an item. Just fooling around…”
“Fine then,” Remus said with finality, trying to shrug while on his side. Whoooo are you? Who who, who who? “I suppose you’re the only person in all of Hogwarts who I can date.”
Sirius grinned his wicked grin, inching closer to Remus, his eyes positively smouldering.
“I suppose so. Guess we’re to call it, then. We’re dating now…”
Whooo are you? Who who? Who who?
Aaaawww, who the fuck are you?
“Hear that Prongs,” Remus said, playing along with the joke. “Sirius and I are dating now.”
“Well it’s about goddamn time,” James yelled back.
Remus chuckled to himself, but when he opened his eyes, Sirius was there. In front of him, their noses almost touching… There was a moment…
Whoooo are you? Who who? Who who?
Remus inched closer, rubbing his nose to Sirius’, just playing along, just being silly, just keeping up with the game.
Remus sank into the kiss, feeling Sirius’ lips against his own, Sirius’ tongue tasting like chocolate and pot, Sirius’ hands suddenly around his waist.
Who are you? Who who? Who who?
Sirius laughed, pulling himself slightly away from Remus.
“I just wanted to see how far you’d be willing to play along! I didn’t realize you’d actually let me kiss you!”
“Fuck…” Remus swore, starting to feel angry at Sirius. “Shit... I thought maybe…”
“Nothing, Sirius.” Sirius’ lips were against Remus’ again, but the werewolf knew better this time. He pulled away, his eyes narrowing. “Stop dicking around.”
“I’m not dicking around…” Sirius whispered, his voice dropping low and rumbly. Remus felt a chill down his spine as House of the Rising Sun played in the background.
“Don’t kiss me if you don’t mean it,” Remus grumbled, before he had a chance to think about his words and and regret saying him, Sirius was kissing him again. Remus tasted his tongue and lips and the thrill of kissing someone he had wanted to kiss for as long as he could remember. Sirius pulled away, his eyes gleaming and ravenous.
“I mean it,” he cooed. “I—”
Before he could continue, Remus was pressed into Sirius, taking advantage of his inebriated state and lack of over-thinking.
“Get a room, you prats!” James called across the room. Remus didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything except the feeling of Sirius’ body against his own, Sirius’ hands around his hips, Sirius’ tongue in his mouth, Sirius’ teeth nipping his lower lip. Everything was Sirius.
Remus closed his eyes and lost himself in his Padfoot. He silently prayed that things could stay this easy forever, but deep inside, he knew that would be a dangerous path to head down...
