Am I Just Paranoid Or Am I Just Stoned? (pt. 4)
(~10k words. pls enjoy. one more chapter until this is completed! also note, all characters are consenting adults. i realized that i never specified what type of school they’re in, therefore there’s probably a question of their age? my use of words like professors and campus don’t indicate the same schooling levels for our international friends as it does in the US. i’m in my mid 20’s and i still say im going to school when i mean i’m going to my college lectures. anyway, sorry for the wait. ALSO THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT!!)
(MATURE CONTENT) (18+, MDNI)
“He’s not a fucking martial arts protege. He wears bedazzled bottoms.” Kankuro dug his fork further into his Chinese takeout. Rice flung from the white box with every sentence.
“There’s no correlation between the two, idiot.” Gaara mumbled, mouth full of eggroll.
Temari grimaced from her spot on the bench. She always made sure to sit a couple of inches away to steer clear of her brothers’ messy eating. “It’s a little hard to believe, Gaara. I mean he looks so delicate.”
“He is.” Gaara kept his head low to hide his growing blush. His siblings on either side of him comfortingly knocked their knees into his. Gaara gazed up to find matching smirks of amusement on their faces.
“You guys are becoming quite the duo, aren’t you?” Temari asked.
Gaara looked up into the sky. His eyes squinted reflexively from the blaze of the sun, yet his gaze persisted, only to gawk at the moving clouds. He didn’t mind the discomfort, he was used to staring into bright lights now. Most times the aforementioned bright light was his computer monitor glowing brilliantly against the darkness of his room in the latest hours of the night. Other times it was the unsightly fluorescent lights that dotted the ceiling of his physics lecture hall— a course he didn’t even remember signing up for. He found himself counting each one in an attempt to stay awake as his professor droned on and on about circuits and force.
Recently, though, it was the sunshine within Lee himself. His shining teeth with each apologetic smile, cheeky grin or proud beam. Lee had an unusual knack of pleasantly getting under anyone’s skin and past their protective walls—no matter if it's made of brick, steel, sand or stone. Lee was a peculiar thing that Gaara wanted to dissect and discover. And it was fine that way, but the problem arose when Lee wanted to dissect and discover him in return.
Weeks have gone by where Lee has begged Gaara to open up to him. It began with simple questions about Gaara’s favorite color, his favorite food, favorite song. He never had an answer for Lee. Then he began to ask about Gaara’s social life. The raven haired boy was not particularly content with Gaara’s answer of ‘nonexistent’.
Lee tried to unearth the unknown parts of Gaara in other ways. First, a handwritten letter, detailing how much Lee cherished their budding friendship. Gaara returned the gesture in the form of a crinkled chewing up wrapper that had ‘Thanks.’ messily written on it. Then, Lee tried with matching charm chains for their phones. Gaara thought it was a necklace and tried to force the band over his obtuse head, ultimately snapping the rope that held the beads together. Gaara promptly apologized upon seeing Lee’s face become redder than his own hair.
Lee’s final attempt was his most foolproof plan. A gift that couldn’t be broken, didn’t need to be returned.
‘Hit me, baby, one more time! My loneliness is killing me, and I, I must confess I still believe-“
Music blasted next to Gaara’s head in the dead of the night. Gaara stirred in his bed, trying his hardest to stay asleep. Dream Lee’s hands were just starting to rub sunscreen into his pale back as they sunbathed on the soft sand of the beach. Meanwhile dream Lee number two ran off to chase the receding tide. It was almost perfect if it weren’t for Britney singing one of her top hits while riding the largest wave Gaara had ever seen. He was wildly curious about her ability to project her voice so far, until even dream Gaara came to the conclusion that it was too good to be true, and that the impromptu personal beach-themed concert was in fact his phone ringing. The week prior, Lee demanded that that specific song be his ringtone and Gaara was nothing but subservient to the supreme Juicy Couture jumpsuit-wearing being. Gaara lifted his head from his makeup stained pillow, wiping the eyeliner-crusted sleep from his eyes.
His hand searched for his phone, eyes refusing to open completely. After a few seconds of patting around, he forced his heavy eyelids open enough to answer the call.
“Hello?” Gaara mumbled groggily.
Lee usually rambled at intense volumes once answering the phone. Sometimes he wouldn’t even wait for the other person to begin talking once the dial stopped.
Now, there was only silence on the other end. Gaara checked his phone to make sure that he’d actually answered the call. He did, yet the infamously loud boy was worryingly quiet. Gaara’s mind quickly flooded with devastating thoughts of Lee being hurt.
He heard a shuffle and the sound of Lee clearing his throat. “Hi Gaara.” He said softly.
“What’s wrong, Lee?” Gaara asked. He tried to clear his throat and offset the low sleepy rasp that worsened his already deep tone.
“Wrong?” Lee squeaked. “Nothing’s wrong, Gar. Did I wake you?”
Gaara pulled the phone away enough to check the time. 3:22 AM. “Not at all, babe.”
Lee’s muffled giggle sounded from the other side.. Gaara recalled the way Lee covered his mouth with his hand when he laughed, or sometimes even went as far as hiding his blushing face behind the soft folds of his jumpsuit hoodie. Gaara’s lips curled into a soft smile at the thought.
“I have something to show you.” Lee said, his voice getting even softer.
Gaara sat up in bed, motivated by the heat coiling in his lower half. “Show me..?”
He felt his phone vibrate.
“Check your phone, Gar’.”
The speed at which Gaara opened his messaging app almost made him ashamed. The way his heart raced seeing ‘Attachment’ next to Lee’s name made his mind fog and no longer harbor the ability to determine whether or not heaven or hell would be his final resting place. He quickly opened the text chat to see it was a link instead of the sweaty, bronze and nude full body picture he had imagined in his head.
The link directed Gaara to a music playlist. At first glance, Gaara didn’t recognize any of the songs or artists. It definitely wasn’t the genre he typically had playing through his headphones. ‘I Really Like You’ by Carly Rae Jepsen and ‘And I’ by Ciara. At first glance of each album cover, the music seemed right up Lee’s alley.
He clicked the first song and shimmied his way back down onto his pillow.
“Did you get it?” Lee’s voice temporarily interrupted the song, not that Gaara really cared to intuitively listen. He’d rather listen to Lee over his favorite album.
“I did. It’s interesting. Not something I’d imagine you liking.” Gaara admitted.
“Hey! ‘I Really Like You’ was a summer classic!” Lee shrieked. Gaara imagined the way Lee’s face probably twisted up in frustration and chuckled softly against his pillow. There was a long beat before Lee replied. “Tell me when you listen to it completely. I want to know what you think of it.”
He heard a small sigh before Lee continued. “Goodnight, Gaara.” His voice held a hint of disappointment.
Gaara sat up, quickly pausing the song. Lee’s response was exactly as Gaara expected, still his heart raced within its bony cage. His tone was off. Lee hated saying goodnight but his tone was different in a way that the sleep-deprived boy couldn’t put his finger on. “Goodnight, Lee. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Lee hummed in agreement. “Tomorrow. Sleep tight, handsome.” A loud kissing noise graced Gaara’s ears before the solemn sound of the call ending.
It wasn’t until the next morning when the siblings piled into the car that Gaara, or rather Kankuro, figured out Lee’s riddle of a gift.
“What the hell is this song?” Kankuro picked Gaara’s phone from its place in the cup holder.
Driver had full control of the aux, and Gaara was only two more songs away from finishing the playlist that Lee had sent him the night prior. So, naturally, with Gaara driving, the siblings listened to the concluding songs of his newly curated album.
“Lee recommended it. It’s… odd.” Gaara mumbled, shifting the car into reverse.
“Doesn’t really seem like his vibe.” Temari said as she fiddled with her seatbelt in the backseat.
“It doesn’t.” Gaara admitted. He was laser focused on the road, trying to find a reason to enjoy the odd songs on the playlist that Lee handcrafted him. Lee had grown to be an important person in Gaara’s life. The least he could do was pretend that he enjoyed the music that Lee believed the drummer would enjoy as well.
“Yeah, definitely doesn’t scream glitter and gloss,” Kankuro continued to scroll through the playlist.
Gaara opened up his mouth to defend his raven haired boy but fell short when trying to find anything to actually defend. Lee did like glitter and gloss. Maybe more than he liked Gaara. Still, the playlist reminded Gaara nothing of Lee’s cherry flavored lip glosses and his note-taking pastel glitter pens.
“Oh, no wonder it’s shit.”
Alright, that was too far.
“Kank, ease up man. I don’t like it either but it’s sweet. The thought that counts, or whatever.” Temari argued. A thud sounded from next to Gaara, as he caught the flash of Temari’s hand in his peripheral, reaching over the back seat to smack Kankuro in the head.
“No, look! The playlist. It spells out a sentence. I don’t think Lee actually likes this garbage.” Kankuro defended, ducking his head away from Temari’s incoming hand.
“What?” Gaara's eyes tried to peek at the phone but returned to the road once he sensed Temari’s hand lifting and aiming for his own head. He only slightly swerved. “What does it spell out, Kankuro?” His voice was tense, almost akin to shouting.
“I really like you and I want you to be my boyfriend.”
Gaara slammed on the brakes. Both of his siblings lurched forward out of their seats, Kankuro hitting the dashboard of the car.
“Fuck! What are you doing?” Kankuro shouted, pushing himself back into his seat.
“That’s why you should always wear your seatbelt, idiot.” Temari muttered from the back seat, still adjusting herself from the sudden jerk.
Gaara’s eyes were wide, knuckles white on the steering wheel. His chest heaved with each breath as his mind raced. Was that why Lee sounded so disappointed? Did he inadvertently reject Lee?
“He wants to be my boyfriend.” Gaara whispered.
“He does.” Temari answered.
The words seemed to fall strangely from his lips. He’d never toyed with the idea of being someone- anyone’s boyfriend. He always figured he’d pair up with whatever alternative chick asked him for his number. He never imagined himself with someone like Lee. Lee was a character in a movie that the audience rooted for until they got their happily ever after. Gaara was the character who crossed the street two minutes into the movie never to be seen again. He never considered himself to be the happily ever after of the main character. Did Lee really want him as his happily ever after? Could he even be that for Lee?
Kankuro angrily shook his head as he yanked the seatbelt over his body. “Hope he knows you're a shit driver.”
“Yeah, can't drive for shit. Now take us to school.” Kankuro hissed, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Kankuro, I can’t be his boyfriend. Temari, I can’t-“
Temari leaned forward into the space between the driver and passenger seat. “Gaara, breathe. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
Gaara turned to Temari. His eyes were filled with worry, an expression that concerned both siblings. “I want to. I just… can’t.”
Temari’s gaze softened. She squeezed Gaara’s arm before sitting back in her seat. “I get it. Don’t think too much about it right now. Let’s just get to school and we can all talk later. Sounds good?”
“Sounds good.” Both of the boys replied.
Gaara shakily exhaled and took his foot off of its cemented place on the brake.
He’d see Lee soon. Lee would want an explanation. He needed a distraction. He needed a reason to not answer Lee.
Gaara had never been a boyfriend. He wasn’t necessarily even liked up until a few years prior when he’d become friends with Naruto, and even then, people didn’t naturally gravitate towards Gaara.
Lee made him feel like he was someone that could be gravitated to. He made Gaara feel like he was someone. A good someone, too. He did it in ways that weren’t flashy or attention-grabbing, either. It was the small moments; the shared eye contact, the brushing of fingertips and honest smiles from Lee. It made him feel. The feelings that Lee gave him ranged from a woozy, light-headed rush all the way down to toe-curling, heated euphoric moments in dark closets. Without a doubt, at the end of every night, Gaara would receive a text from Lee, describing how happy their shared day together made him. Gaara never believed he was good before then.
Suddenly, it all struck at once. The letters, the persistent and prodding questions, the matching phone charms. Lee liked Gaara. Lee wanted to be more than friends. With. Gaara.
Gaara took a deep breath as he pulled into the parking lot. Lee typically waited for Gaara’s late arrival, leaning up against the neighboring car next to Gaara’s assigned parking spot. That day, Lee was nowhere to be found. Gaara sighed, shutting his eyes tight and pressing his forehead to the wheel.
Temari patted his back before sliding her way out of the car. “Don’t stress, squirt. You’ll both understand each other in time. Get to class.” She said before shutting the car door.
‘You’ll both understand each other in time.’
Gaara didn't want time. He wanted Lee. He wanted Lee without saying it, without other people being able to see him say it. He didn't want people to point and laugh at them hand in hand. Why wouldn’t they? Lee next to Gaara? Together, they looked like a trope from a bad rom-com, Gaara thought. Lee didn't deserve that. Lee seemed to be happy without Gaara, before they met, anyway. Besides, Lee deserved more than what Gaara could ever offer.
“Lee is… He’s different. I like him.” Gaara glanced back down into his takeout container.
He was fairly disinterested in the food now that it had gone cold. His mind continuously wandered to the playlist debacle that occurred the week prior. Lee had seemingly forgiven him, clinging back to Gaara’s side after a few days of the silent treatment, without any resolving discussion. Gaara needed to tell Lee that he was wrong. That he wanted Lee to be his boyfriend. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Even though he knew Lee would happily agree, his heart raced just thinking about how he’d ask Lee.
“Yeah, that’s obvious enough.” Kankuro said flatly. “But there’s no way he’s beating me up.”
“He’s quite strong.” Gaara said matter-of-factly.
“Does he have a sleeper build or something? I’ve seen those jumpsuits. They don’t really hide much.” Temari pointed out, waving her fork around as she spoke.
“Hm… Yes. I guess he does.” Gaara said, almost lost in thought.
“I’m not buying it.” Kankuro said, shaking his head.
“Do you want him to beat you up, Kank?” Temari asked.
“I’d like to see the little squirt try!”
A grunt was forced out of Kankuro as his back made contact with the ground. The audience roared with exhilarated shouts and sympathetic groans. Lee hopped to his feet and stuck a hand out to Kankuro.
“Wonderful attempt, Kankuro! Next time, plant your back foot for additional stability!” Lee said, his bright smile calming all of the retaliatory fire within Kankuro.
Kankuro shook his head and shakily pushed himself to his feet. “Nah, one more try, Lee.”
Lee nodded, quickly returning to his beginning signature stance. One arm tucked behind his lower back, his other arm in front of him, palm to the ceiling.
“And why the hell do you stand like that?” Kankuro asked as he moved to his beginning position. Slightly crouched with arms steady in front of him.
“My father taught me before I began lessons at his dojo. It’s his stance and he passed it down to me. Any other questions?” Lee’s focused, expressionless face contrasted the genuine tone of his voice.
Both boys reached their right hand out to touch, indicating the start of their spar.
Within seconds, Lee’s leg swiped the back of Kankuro’s, knocking him to the ground. Lee followed Kankuro down, straddling and pinning him to the mat.
“This was a horrible idea.” Gaara muttered.
He sat between Temari and Tenten, both girls watching his reaction for their own personal enjoyment. The crowd consisted of both Gaara and Lee’s respective friend groups, totaling a crowd of over a dozen. Gaara was begrudgingly introduced by Tenten to all of the people that Naruto could round up in the short span of an hour. Once Naruto caught wind of ‘Lee’ and ‘fighting’ in the same sentence, he spent the entire day telling anyone he could about the planned spar.
Gaara scanned the crowd of people. The few faces that were recognizable to him were already sitting around Naruto, scoffing or laughing at his explicit storytelling of the day he met Lee. Gaara’s mind started to wander as he thought about a little Lee in elementary school. He would’ve paid thousands to see a photo of baby Lee. Tragically, his attention was pulled back to the group when the words ‘adorable’, ‘kind’, and ‘surprisingly attractive’ were thrown around. Were they still talking about his Lee? His mind raced with ideas on how to politely ask them to stop discussing Lee. At least, not without him in the conversation.
“Want to try again, Kankuro?” Lee smiled sweetly above the pinned boy.
Kankuro shook his head wildly. “No, I can get out of this!” He thrashed his body around to no avail under the strong grip Lee had on him.
“Kank, buddy, I think you’re fucked. You’ve been pinned for way over three seconds man.” Shikamaru, one of Naruto’s friends, lazily called out.
“Fine. You win again, Lee.” Kankuro muttered, flushed red with embarrassment.
Lee threw his hands in the air, bouncing happily as he cheered for himself. “I did it! Gaara, look! I got Kankuro!”
Kankuro’s body thrashed around with each of Lee’s energetic bounces. Gaara had to physically cover his eyes with both of his hands to not feel both awkward and turned on. Never in his life had he ever wanted to be Kankuro, until now.
Temari and Tenten, from either side of Gaara, pried his hands off of his face.
“Take it all in, Gaara. This is Lee and all of his himbo glory.” Tenten sighed with contentment. “You’re doing great, Lee!” She shouted.
Lee’s hands clutched his chest, his eyes immediately beginning to water. “Thank you, Tenten!” He shouted back.
“I’m next Bushy-Brows!” Naruto jumped up from his seat and raced down to the mat.
The bleachers croaked with every heavy step Naruto took until he was in front of Lee. The raven haired boy stood up, fixing his gi and bowed to Kankuro. “Excellent fight, Kankuro. Thank you for sparring with me.” Lee’s bow was so low that his hair brushed the top of Kankuro’s nose.
Kankuro let out a chuckle, pushing Lee’s face away from him. “Dude, you’re freaking tickling me. Get off!” He whined while choking down his laughs.
“Kankuro! Are you ticklish? How cute!” Lee beamed. He smiled as if he had just discovered one of life’s greatest mysteries.
Gaara wanted to smile. He was so hopeful that Lee would stop looking at Kankuro with those eyes that he’d become so possessive over. Gaara didn’t think of himself to be a possessive man, but those eyes were the reason for his unraveling in their shared moments under soft blankets and beneath the dark veil of night. Those large brown eyes made his knees buckle involuntarily whenever they locked onto his own face, while slowly moving down his entire frame. Although those eyes were the cause of many embarrassing blushes and fumbling over words, they were for Gaara. Certainly not for display for all of their friends and especially not for his brother.
Gaara bit his tongue as he watched Lee drop to his knees over Kankuro and dig his fingers into his sides, forcing uncharacteristic squeals out of Kankuro.
“L-Lee! Stop it!” He shrieked, trying to squat at Lee’s persistent hands.
“Kankuro! Just tickle him back!” Tenten shouted from beside Gaara.
Lee froze, head snapping to Tenten, then back to Kankuro. “Kankuro, don’t.” He pleaded under his breath.
Kankuro, don’t. Please, gods above, listen to this one humble request. Save me from this hell.
Gaara knew Kankuro wouldn’t listen. It was in his big brother nature to be a bully. Gaara would rather pay money to swap places with Lee than watch this go down.
Kankuro’s hands darted up to Lee’s sides without hesitation. “Oh, you have requests after that?”
Gaara’s stomach lurched, twisted and clenched as if he were the one being tickled. He recalled reading online that tickling was a medieval torturing method, and that moment felt nothing short of torment as he watched Lee’s airless and strained giggles.
Lee writhed around on top of Kankuro, his face burning red as he gasped for air. “Stop it!” He whined breathlessly.
Gaara’s nails dug into their spot on his forearm. His teeth were already sunk deep into his bottom lip. He used every bit of concentration he could to stop the tremors from soaring throughout his body.
“What are we even doing? Why do I have to see this?” The words quickly stumbled from his tightly wound lips.
Neji stood up from his seat on the bleachers. He crossed his arms over his chest, jutting his hip out on one side. The crowd’s volume seemed to automatically dim with his presence. “The red-head is right. Can we see some more fighting?”
“Yeah, right! It’s my turn, bushy-brows!” Naruto shouted, pushing his sleeves up past his elbows and nudging off his shoes.
“Alright, get off, squirt. You won. You can put up one hell of a fight.” Kankuro gently shoved Lee off of him as he made his way up. He stuck out a hand for the spar winner, who was still red-faced and panting.
Lee grabbed Kankuro’s hand and jumped to his feet. His hands slapped to his sides and he bowed deeply. “Thank you, big brother Kankuro! It was an honor!”
Kankuro nodded and shoved at Lee’s shoulder, sending Lee stumbling slightly. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll catch you later, dork.” He shot a half smile at Lee before limping towards the group.
Kiba was still keeled over with laughter with tears falling from eyes by the time Kankuro made his way back to him. The man desperately tried suppressing his chuckles as he pecked Kankuro’s cheek, only failing and spraying the bruised boy with his spit.
Gaara watched the exchange with an embarrassed knot in his stomach. All of the jealousy he previously felt melted away and understanding washed over him like a humbling baptism. He considered the way Lee playfully fought with his brother, Kankuro and his teasing nicknames. The look of mutual admiration in their eyes. Kankuro would never admit to it, but their bond grew as Gaara and Lee got closer. Temari even began including Lee’s order in their pre-rehearsal coffee run. The glittery and vibrant boy had truly become a part of Gaara’s life. No longer was it jealousy that made him feel uncomfortably mushy watching Kankuro and Lee’s spar. It was the realization that Lee was now, without a doubt, an integral part of Gaara. Even the moments where Lee wasn’t present revolved around him in some way.
His daydreams were cut short by the pained sound that was expelled from Naruto, very similar to the many Lee pulled from Kankuro. The only difference was the amount of time it took to get Naruto down. Their hands and feet shuffled in and out of each other’s grasps wildly until Lee finally caught Naruto’s leg and swept him onto the ground.
“Damn it, Bushy Brow! If I just had three more of me pining you down, I’d be slapping the hell out of you!” Naruto grunted, words muffled by the sweat stained mat.
Lee smiled his signature stupidly bright smile. “What a wonderful match, Naruto. Maybe if you come to practice more often, you’d be able to overtake me.”
“Oh, whatever. I wanna see you try to take Neji down. Good luck with that!”
Lee’s demeanor shifted instantly. His grip loosened on Naruto and his smile fell. “Spar with Neji?”
A few whoops and hollers erupted from the crowd. “Neji, get out there!”
“Naruto, get up already! We want to see an actual spar!”
Naruto shook his head in disbelief as he weakly pushed himself up. “No love, I’m telling you.” He mumbled under his breath, making his way back over to the awaiting dark-haired and moody personality named Sasuke, who had his signature disappointed grimace on his face. “Oh, don’t give me that look. I sure as shit didn’t say anything when Lee beat your ass in the 7th grade!”
Lee quickly stood to his feet. “O-okay. Sure!”
With a bored sigh, Neji made his way from the bleachers down to the mat. He tossed his hair over his shoulder before sliding into his beginning stance. “Cmon, Lee. Make daddy proud.”
Lee’s face flushed red, his eyes refusing to shift anywhere near Gaara. He shifted into his stance and with one quick nod between the two, they began.
Their forearms collided, blocking each strike sent towards one another. Neji attacked with full power, punches that could break bones if they landed, yet Lee blocked each jab carefully. They fought with a fast and familiar grace, like a well known tango between the two. Their eyes never left each other. Their breaths matched each lunge and kick. They continued sending deadly strikes to each other to no avail, until one fraction, one split second glimpse caught Lee’s attention.
Neji’s fist collided with Lee’s jaw. The wind was knocked from his lungs, sending him backwards only a few steps. Loud gasps emerged from the crowd. Gaara stood to his feet, watching. Waiting.
“What’s got you so distracted, Lee? Scared to mess up in front of your boyfriend?" Neji taunted.
Lee let out a weak chuckle, wiping the sweat and saliva from his mouth. “Do you want to spar or talk about boys?”
Neji’s fist came in again fast towards Lee’s face. Lee ducked just in time, rushing into Neji’s waist with his shoulder and tackling them both to the ground.
Neji landed with a forceful grunt. Lee stood up, eyes wide and mouth again in shock. His head snapped towards the stands to see the look on Gaara’s face. Lee had spent so many late night phone calls talking about how badly Neji annoyed him with his taunting and pranks. Tackling Neji in front of a group of peers was exactly the payback Lee was looking for.
Instead of a proud smirk as Lee expected, Gaara’s gaze was locked onto his phone screen, fingers hurriedly typing away.
Lee’s world flipped before he could get a grasp of what happened. Before he knew it, Neji’s legs wrapped around Lee’s torso and flipped them both over. Neji firmly straddled Lee, his hand shoving Lee’s face into the mat.
“Still can’t beat me, Lee.” Neji didn’t even sound like he was out of breath.
Lee stuttered against the mat, words came out like choking sounds. “Ne-ji! Stop!” He gasped, tears threatening to fall. His mouth opened and closed repeatedly, as if he were pursuing a lung-full of air that he couldn’t catch. His face reddened deeper with each moment he stayed pinned to the mat. His frantically hand slapped against the mat in forfeit and Neji’s grip suspended.
The crowd fell into a quiet hush. Lee’s frantic and hyperventilated breathing being the only audible sound.
“Neji, knock it off!” Tenten called out,
Neji rolled his eyes before he stood to his feet, wiping off his pants and straightening his hair. He leaned down, lips brushing the shell of Lee’s ear. “Hope I didn’t embarrass you too much in front of your little boyfriend.” He whispered. “Come on, Tenten.”
Tenten let out a frustrated sigh before rushing over to Neji’s side. “Didn’t have to be such an asshole.” She mumbled.
Soft sniffles came from Lee, face red with embarrassment.
“For fucks sake.” Kankuro mumbled before running over to help Lee up.
Temari slapped the back of Gaara’s head, pointing to his crying companion on the mat.
Gaara had an insult geared up for Temari until he saw Lee, sobbing into Kankuro’s chest. His heart sank and his head whirled with thoughts.
What is Kankuro doing down there?
Kankuro shot Gaara a look of pure annoyance, wordlessly saying, ‘What are you doing? Get down here!’
Gaara lifted his shoulders, face contorted with confusion. He wanted to act, he wanted to run down and hold Lee in his arms. But Kankuro was already there. Hushed whispers surrounded the drummer like a mind-altering fog. His body felt as if it were weighed down by the gaze of a dozen eyes on him.
Could going to Lee be a mistake? Is his want to be the one who comforts him just an illusion of his own daydreams? Would Lee even want him in a moment like that?
Kankuro shook his head, returning his attention to soothing Lee.
Gaara tried to stand from his seat. His knees felt so weak, wanting to buckle under the weight of his ignorance. Temari grabbed his arm, stopping him.
“I think it’s a little too late, Gar.” She said flatly.
Gaara sat back down, confused and embarrassed.
“Nice going, squirt. Hope you have a good explanation for Lee.” Temari sighed as she began to pack her bag. Each aggravated shove of her belonging into her overstuffed bag felt like an emotional gut punch.
He remained, stuck in place like a statue built in memorial to a fallen soldier that followed the path to his own destruction. He remained until everyone departed. The weight of his own stupidity held him down like an anchor for many moments. Then, the familiar click of the timer to the automatic lights encased the foolish boy in darkness.
Gaara had no explanation for Lee.
In fact, he struggled to even find Lee to talk to after the incident. Gaara searched endlessly for Lee, only to irritably discover that the most theatrical and brightly dressed boy that he knew could make himself practically disappear if he wanted to. Gaara checked their usual spots to no avail— Lee wasn’t texting away at his locker, he wasn’t taking selfies in the spacious and brightly lit gender fluid bathrooms in the west wing, or on the elliptical at the indoor fitness center. Even the janitor’s closet was empty, where Gaara once found Lee angrily writing down mean comments that formulated in his head throughout the day that he wouldn’t dare say aloud. Gaara raced to Lee’s least favorite class, mathematics, where he’d usually linger to ask his professor for extra assistance with homework. Lee was out of class by the time Gaara could find him, and Tenten’s pitied smile was his sole lead which only served to put him back on his wild-goose hunt.
It wasn’t until Gaara’s feet travelled subconsciously that he struck gold. It was late into the afternoon and his hopes of finding Lee were abysmally low. His body took him to a place of familiarity. He stood outside of the room that used to have no significance to him before dating— meeting Lee. It was a section of the library dedicated to study rooms. Lee would encourage Gaara to follow him into the room after their scheduled shared lunch. Before, Gaara would refuse, trying to pull away from his boyfriend’s— boy friend’s abnormally strong grip. Days later, he stopped rejecting after he realized they could use the room as a makeshift make out designation.
His hand reached for the doorknob, wanting to hide in shame within a place of solitude. At least there he could catch his breath. He needed just a moment to try to conceive more places where he could find the one person who’s been controlling his body and thoughts, both day and night.
A small sniffle from inside caught his attention. Curiously, he pushed the door open.
Lee sat on the table, surrounded by crumpled up, soiled tissues. His face was red and puffy from crying.
Lee’s eyes shot up excitedly. A sad smile grew on his lips for only a moment until Lee seemed to remember that he was upset. He turned his head and scoffed, arms crossed over his chest. “Don’t you dare ‘babe’ me, Gaara.”
“Whatever, Gaara.” His pettiness was uncharacteristic, but the exhausted red-head preferred it over the hide-and-seek game they’ve played all day.
“I really didn’t mean to..” Gaara trailed off.
“To? To what, Gaara?” Lee snapped. After sudden realization, he froze and his mouth fell open. “Do you not even know what you’re apologizing for?”
Gaara could tell he made a huge mistake. “I..” His next words needed to be carefully selected. “Lee, I don’t. I know you’re upset, and I know that I don’t want you to be.”
“Why was Kankuro the one to comfort me? Why would you embarrass me like that?”
Gaara frowned. “You were embarrassed?”
Lee sat up with a renewed vigor. “Neji made me look like a fool in front of all of our friends and your brother was the one who checked on me first. While- while you texted! On your phone!”
“Lee, I didn’t know, it all happened so fast!” Gaara blurted out.
Lee scoffed. “Not too fast for Kankuro and everyone else in the crowd.”
“You know I would’ve gone down had I known.”
Gaara felt his left eye begin to twitch. “What’s your deal with Kankuro?!”
“What is your deal with acting like I don’t exist?”
“Don’t exist? Lee, my screen time has gone up by three hours just from us being friends–”
“Friends?!” In times like these, Gaara wondered if Lee kept his eyebrows so thick to emphasize his emotions. They were dark and full, and grumpily down-turned towards his large brown eyes. They were squinted in anger but still Gaara’s knees hinted at buckling. His cheeks burned as pink as the rouge Lee decorated his cheeks with.
Gaara only knew his mouth was agape by the dryness on his tongue as he fought to think of a reply. “Lee I didn’t mean.. Well we haven’t exactly, you know?” He made a vague gesture with his hands.
Lee scoffed, disbelief appearing like a mask over his face. “No, you’re right, Gaara! We haven’t exactly made out in the janitors closet everyday for the past month. We haven’t spent most nights together on the phone, either. That certainly means we have no feelings for each other!”
“Lee, I swear I didn’t mean it like that!” Gaara contended.
“What did you mean, then? What did any of these past months mean to you? Has it meant anything at all?” Lee asked, his voice brimming with dejection.
“Lee, of course! You’ve been my closest fr–”
“Your closest friend.” He spoke quietly, seemingly aware of their situation.
Silence filled within the space between them, like an invisible barricade.
“Are you embarrassed? By me?” Lee asked, voice shrinking.
Gaara felt a pang of discomfort in his chest. “No, never. I promise.”
“Then what is it? The love letters with no response. The personal playlist I made you with no response either. Gaara, I can take rejection. I don’t appreciate being led on.” Lee tried to explain calmly as his voice wavered.
“I had no intentions of leading you on.” He admitted, the embarrassment withering his voice to a whisper.
“Intentional or not, it still happened.”
“Please, don’t be mad, Lee.”
“I’m not.” The raven hissed angrily.
“You’re lying.” Gaara pointed.
“You’re not a good liar.”
“And you’re suddenly very observant.”
Gaara’s face burned as red as his permanently dyed hair. “I looked at my phone for two seconds, Lee!”
“Two seconds too long. All it took was two seconds for Neji to shove my face into the mat like a loser.” Lee’s lips wobbled, resisting a pout.
Gaara’s hands frustratedly swiped over his face. “You can’t be seriously upset with me because of a quick text.”
“I’m very serious!” Lee’s eyes seemed to ignite again, his gaze furiously blazing into Gaara.
“No one could’ve predicted Neji to flip you like that after the way you beat Kankuro’s ass!” The drummer threw his hands up in defeat.
Lee’s hands flailed similarly. “That’s not the point! At least Kankuro had the balls to-“
“Can we stop mentioning Kankuro and his balls? Do you think I want to hear my boyfriend talk about my brother's balls?” The words fell from Gaara’s lips before he could even realize the unconscious confession.
“Now I’m your boyfriend, Gaara? To prove your point? Convenient.”
Gaara felt the gears in his head shift one click. Covered in a thick layer of dust, whining an eerie sound as they rotated, but rotated indeed.
The silence was familiar, but it still wrung the room of all comfortability, leaving a dry and tense atmosphere.
The unforgiving emptiness from before. He nervously wrung his hands as he awaited a response, wanting to rid himself of the metaphorical blood upon them. He had been such a fool, such an assuming yet thoughtless fool. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He didn’t even intend on even befriending Lee. Even so, it was horribly wrong to have been so oblivious.
“Figure it out, or leave me alone, Gaara.” Gaara’s gaze snapped up to meet the angered look on Lee’s face. “You have two days. I cannot bear to continue on like this.”
“Or we’re through! Whatever we means, anyway. I.. I like you, Gaara! Too much! I can’t keep sneaking off with you. I hold my phone close to my heart at night when we fall asleep so you can be close, Gaara! I-" Lee choked on a sob. A few stray tears fell from his eyes, clenched shut tight with fists balled in his lap. He took a deep breath and continued. “Two days.”
Gaara had never needed to think so hard before in his life. He’d never considered anyone so deeply. Before Naruto, he never had a friend that he had to be so concerned with, and Naruto was basically self nurturing. But Lee didn’t feel like Naruto. Personality-wise, Naruto and Lee were very alike— abrasively loud and boisterous. But Lee was exuberant in a way that made Gaara beam as he never had before meeting the raven-haired boy. In a way that felt like a warm hug from even miles away. Lee could be the loudest in the room but had the ability to simultaneously speak so tenderly. Lee was also the strongest person Gaara knew. Without a doubt, Lee could handle himself without issue, but even with that knowledge, the red head had only ever yearned to hold him delicately— as if he were fragile glass, willing to break at any given moment. He wouldn’t dare risk hurting Lee in that instance, so why had he been so simple regarding his feelings?
Gaara could only look to the floor, shame rising in him like a nauseating bubble. The shine of his own shoes caught his attention, allowing him a second of temporary relief from the overwhelming pain of upsetting Lee. Then, he remembered why his shoes shined.
Lee took notice very early in Gaara’s style. Despite their very different tastes in.. everything, Lee loved Gaara’s style. The raven haired boy thought it was the dark, emotionally stunted and realistic yin to his bright, dazzlingly-expressive yang. Except, Gaara’s beaten up converse. Lee was no stranger to a well loved shoe, which is partially why he chose an extra curricular activity that required no shoes. But Gaara’s shoes had holes and explicates written in sharpie that Lee wouldn’t dare say aloud. The following week at school, Lee was practically shaking with excitement. Gaara cautiously approached Lee who waited for him at his locker.
“What are you planning, Lee?”
The smile that grew on Lee’s face warmed Gaara like the bright sun on a winter morning.
“Gaara, how did you know?!” Lee all but shouted in Gaara’s face. The scent of spearmint and vanilla brushed over Gaara’s face. The rumble in his stomach craved more than just his skipped breakfast.
“Guess I’m just a mind reader.” Gaara shrugged. He would never typically partake in such pleasantries with anyone, but Lee brought out something within him that he wasn’t used to.
Lee’s head cocked to the side. “Then, what am I thinking right now?”
Gaara tapped his chin, faking a contemplative moment. Then he raised his hairless eyebrows. “Lee!” He faked a gasp. “That is a dirty thought! You want me to say that out loud?”
Lee gasped, smacking his hand against Gaara’s chest. “You stop it, Gaara! I am not thinking of anything naughty!”
Gaara smirked, tilting his head and raising an expecting brow.
“I wasn’t until you said it..” Lee muttered, lip gutting out in a pout and cheek flushed with what Gaara hoped were thoughts of him.
Gaara smiled, a genuine one that reached his eyeline-bordered eyes. A sincere smile, from pierced ear to pierced ear that made Lee pause.
“What’s on your mind, Gaara?”
Gaara’s gaze grazed over Lee. The raven haired boy blushed and grinned shyly as teal eyes analyzed him.
“Honestly, just you, Lee.” He said softly.
Lee gasped, his eyes widened and the pink on his cheeks reddened to the shade of his bubble gum pink lips. Lee shoved the box from his hands into Gaara’s chest, refusing to look him in the eye.
“Open.” Lee said quickly, under his breath.
Gaara kept his eyes on Lee as he took the box into his hand. His fingers felt around the box for an opening. The irregular texture grabbed his attention, forcing his eyes from Lee and his choice of decorative outfit for the day.
The box was covered with small, handmade drawings. Some were sketches torn from a notebook of nothing particular. Others were drawn directly on the gift box with glittered pens, smeared edges before it could fully dry. In the middle was a stick figure image of the two. Gaara could tell because of the large red heart Lee plastered on Gaara’s figure, and the glittery green bow in his own hair.
It was handmade. And explicitly for Gaara. Not a group gift, not a belated present, but a handmade gift for Gaara on a random school day that started with him gagging on his toothbrush and close to vomiting at seven in the morning.
“Is something wrong? I kinda messed up the drawing- Gar!” Lee nervously babbled until he was pulled into a bone crushing hug that had the same strength that Lee bestowed each of his signature embraces with.
The two boys stayed in their quiet embrace until Gaara pulled away, face red and wet with tears. Lee’s mouth fell open to speak but the panicked expression from Gaara stopped any words from coming out.
Instead, Lee offered a bashful grin, nodding his head towards the present.
Gaara stared at the box in his hands, his trembling fingers awkwardly searched for an opening. He felt warm hands envelop his own.
“Here!” Lee said, his eyes full of excitement and joy.
Gaara’s heart fluttered. He opened the box’s lid with Lee's help, shoving past the protective gift paper. A bright, clean pair of dark red Converse sneakers sat perfectly pristine in the box.
Gaara’s fingers crept over the fresh fabric. It had been years since he’d worn a new pair of sneakers. “Lee.. Why did you..”
“Well, there was a discount at the mall. Neji and Tenten said you could use an upgrade anyway, so here they are!”
Gaara had no capacity to realize the dig from Lee’s friends as his head was filled with nothing but awe at the sincere kindness of Lee’s heart.
Lee reached for a shoe, flipping it upside down to show the bottoms. “Look, I added a little design!”
The two letters of their initials, surrounded by a messy black heart written obviously in permanent marker the way it smudged at the sides of the design.
‘Can you keep up? Baby boy, make me lose my breath. Bring the noise, make me lose my-’
Lee patted his pockets until he found his phone, answering immediately. “Yeah?” Gaara observed Lee as he spoke on the phone. His eyes widened slightly, his whole body stilling momentarily. Lee sighed as the conversation continued and movement returned in the form of Lee’s foot absentmindedly brushing against Gaara’s. “Oh, okay! Sure, I’ll be right there. Don’t move. See ya!”
The decorative boy frowned at Gaara. “That was Tenten. She thinks she sprained her ankle.”
Gaara’s eyes widened with concern. “Is she okay?”
Lee was already shoving his phone into his back pocket, phone chain swinging wildly as he jostled around. “She should be fine, but I’ll check it out. I told her not to wear those ultra platform Mary Jane’s. They didn’t even match her outfit. Pays to be tacky, huh?” Lee rambled. He pressed a soft peck to Gaara’s cheek. “I’ll see you after biology. Put those on, okay? Wouldn’t want you to sprain your ankle too!” Lee pressed one last kiss to Gaara’s nose before skipping away.
Gaara smiled, holding the box closer to his chest.
“Wait, did you just call me tacky?” He called after Lee who pretended not to hear him.
Gaara felt his knees buckle, the weight of his ignorance and his body dragging him to the ground. Lee had shown him nothing but absolute kindness since the day of their fortunate collision. Every day since had gifted Gaara with a new experience, a new memory of Lee that he held so close to his heart. His previously angsty journal had never been so full before with electrifying, crush-filled entries. His knees started to ache against the floor but nothing compared to the ache plaguing his head with the intense swarm of thoughts.
Lee watched over Gaara worriedly. Even with the tension and the frustration between them, Lee’s eyes still searched for Gaara’s. Gaara’s heart ached even more. He crawled toward Lee as if he were a stream of freshwater in the middle of a desert and he himself as the parched man he’d always been. He placed his hands on Lee’s legs, fingers splayed tight around Lee’s calves. His head laid against the soft suede fabric that hugged his warm thighs. Gaara’s face nuzzled into Lee, desperate for his warmth and scent to engulf the mentally flustered man.
“Gaara?” His voice was soft, overflowing with concern. His face flickered from worried to annoyed, wanting to be angry but couldn’t help but wonder about Gaara’s wellbeing.
“Lee, I-“ His voice croaked and it sounded almost unrecognizable. “Lee, I’m so so sorry.” He whispered. His eyes were shut tight, chest heaving. “I can’t believe I ever treated you that way. I’m disappointed with myself. I-“ He swallowed the lump in his throat that begged him to stop. “Lee, you are everything to me. I will do anything to make this up to you. I don’t need two days, I don’t even need two minutes to consider you.”
Lee cleared his throat. Gaara’s eyes opened and he realized exactly where he was. Crouched like a begging man at the feet of Lee. In a moment of sobriety, he quickly withdrew his hands and held them behind his back. Internally he scolded himself for crowding. Lee was the one who would decide his fate. All he could do was sit back and take whatever he was given. He shuffled backwards and lifted his head to look at Lee.
“Be mad at me, Lee. Hit me if you want. I’ll take it. I’ll take anything if it means you forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you. I was just so confused. You’re everything I’ve never had. You are so you, Lee. I’ve never experienced anything like you. And now, I don’t want it if it’s not you.” His voice reeked of desperation.
That stubborn, abrasive silence returned.
“Please forgive me, baby.” Gaara pleaded, practically whining as his words spilled from his lips.
A grin creeped its way onto Lee’s face. He hummed softly, uncrossing his arms and placing his hands on his hips. His eyes scanned over Gaara. Gaara felt his face flush under the scrutiny of Lee. It felt like the softest clouds that reside in heaven and the sharpest spears that form in hell.
“That’s what I thought, Gaara.” Lee turned on his heels and made his way to the door. He stopped just shy of the doorframe and peaked over his shoulder. “Pick me up for school tomorrow? Don’t be late, you know I hate waiting.”
Gaara nodded furiously from his spot on the floor.
Lee smiled brightly before walking, in fact, skipping out the door.
Gaara let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
That jumpsuit wearing boy would be the death of him. What a kind death that would be.
Gaara was a quiet and simple man. He had almost the same routine each day. He had a phone with only a few contacts and almost no online presence. He had his undeniable love for music and for drumming. His sibling garage band was only meant to be a summer activity, yet it spiraled into a passion and biweekly concert at the local recreational center that he grew incredibly fond of.
He didn’t expect said hobbies to bring him even closer to Lee and put him in undeniably tense situations.
It started with Lee’s pleas to attend one of his performances. Gaara never invited people to his shows. The worry of messing up in front of an invited guest was too much for Gaara, so it made no sense as to why Lee was sitting on the couch in the rec center’s hospitality room that acted as his dressing room.
Gaara couldn’t wrap his head around it. He could only remember inviting Lee to a show after Lee first begged him for hours after class one day. Now, it was Gaara begging Lee to keep him company every other Friday night before his shows. Lee’s presence had grown to be the only comforting aid for Gaara’s pre-show nerves.
“To be quite honest, I’m really nervous.” Gaara stared at himself in the portable vanity mirror he borrowed from Temari.
He could see Lee’s head tilt in thought in the reflection. “Are you worried about messing up? You’ll do wonderfully, Gaara. I know it!” Lee was snuggled into the corner of the couch, nose-deep in his newest book from the campus’ library.
Gaara’s shoulders relaxed just a touch. “It’s hard having someone here who you want to impress. I feel like I can only think about messing up.”
Lee’s head whipped around to look at Gaara. “Who’s here tonight?”
Gaara bit his lip, hiding the smile daring to creep onto his lip.
Gaara wasn’t a religious man. No church gave him the want to return, no scripture struck deep in his heart. Every commandment felt a demand. Every testimony felt like a perfectly crafted fib.
Yet, Gaara now racked his brain for any and every god he’d ever encountered to thank them for the following moments. Gaara definitely couldn’t understand or explain why Lee was on his knees, mouth stuffed full of Gaara’s aching cock and working him like it was the most important thing in the world to him. His mind could only think about the warmth of Lee’s mouth encasing his pathetically weeping shaft.
Gaara had a weak fist full of Lee’s soft hair, gently pulling and pushing, guiding Lee along his cock. He bit back a loud whimper daring to spill as Lee pulled away for air.
He could wait. He could do this. Be a gentleman and don’t embarrass yourself.
An embarrassingly loud groan escaped as the raven’s lips kissed and sucked along his throbbing erection. Lee looked up at Gaara with those big doe-like and wet eyes, lashes dark and heavy. Gaara could feel himself melting into everything that was Lee. Lee’s soft sputters against Gaara’s hardened dick in his mouth only drove him more insane.
“Mmh, Lee.. Lee, I can’t,” Gaara groaned, eyes tightly shut.
Lee pulled back, sucking roughly to catch the excess spit. “Yes, Gaara?” His sweet voice forced Gaara’s eyes open.
Seeing Lee kneeled in front of him, hair tousled and lips pink and puffy made his cock twitch harshly, his tip hitting against Lee’s cheek. Spit and precum smeared against Lee’s smooth skin. Lee was working his own hardened cock through his tracksuit, cheeks burning with arousal.
Gaara inhaled deeply through his nose, willing himself away from climax. He shifted his hips back slightly, even the proximity of his erection near Lee’s face made him liable to explode. His cock throbbed crudely against Lee’s mouth, precum spilling from his red tip onto pink lips. Lee’s tongue darted out, collecting Gaara’s mess and swallowing. He let out a soft, airy moan as he looked up at Gaara with pleading eyes. He lips parted, tongue lazily swirling around the red tip and lapping at any leaking precum.
Before Gaara could stop himself, his orgasm unexpectedly tore through him, drawing loud moans and thick white ropes of cum out of him and all over Lee’s glossy lips.
His fingers entangled deeper into the soft dark locks of Lee’s hair, pulling gently and massaging the pads of his fingers into his scalp as the last of his release twitched out of him. Lee leaned into the gentle hands, his cheek settling against Gaara hip, pressing soft kisses against the pulsing cock.
“Do you have a tissue?” Lee asked plainly, as if it were any regular Tuesday. It was Tuesday but one where Lee made Gaara ejaculate over the raven’s face. Maybe the best Tuesday of his entire existence.
Gaara stared at Lee, mouth agape and eyes dilated but still wide for a few moments before nodding furiously, shoving his spent genitals back in his pants and rushing to get Lee a napkin.
Gaara watched Lee carefully as he pulled out a compact mirror from his fanny pack and started wiping Gaara’s release off of his face.
There was a twang of discomfort in his heart. Moments ago, it felt like he could float. Nothing weighed on him anymore, he felt freer than he’s ever felt before. Was that it?
“Is that it?” Gaara’s voice was small.
Lee peeked from behind his mirror with a lifted eyebrow. “Did.. Did you want more?”
Gaara shook his head, words caught in his throat. It wasn’t direct enough. He knew exactly what he needed to say, but the air in his lungs seemed to evaporate with each attempt.
Lee’s head tilted, trying to consider other possibilities. “No.. I’m going to watch you play?”
“I mean, for us. Will we ever,” Gaara paused, his fist clenched and unclenched at his side.
Just ask him. He forgave you. He clearly likes you. Ask him and make it official.
Lee closed the compact with a sweet smile. “Gaara? Are you trying to ask me something?” His head cocked to the side. He knew. That adorable asshole knew and had no intention of making it easier for him.
God, Gaara wanted to eat him whole.
“Lee, I need to be your boyfriend.”
Lee’s eyes widened, his lips parting slightly in awe. “Need?”
“I-.. Yes, Lee. Need. I need you, Lee.”
Lee stared at Gaara, his face still painted with shock.
Maybe that was too much. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Maybe they shouldn’t have done that.
Gaara’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Lee jumping on top of him, knocking them both onto the floor.
Lee pushed himself up slightly, his arms bracketing Gaara’s head. “GAARA! Are you positive? You want to be with me?” Lee’s volume was a clear indicator of his mood.
Gaara could only nod. Dizzy from the fall, dizzier from their proximity. Dizziest by the revelation that Lee was finally his. Irritated with himself with how easy it was to ask and how he could’ve done so months ago. “Lee, I’d want nothing more. I thought it was clear with how often I literally fell for you. You’re a wonderful distraction.” Mostly, he was thankful to be where he was.
Lee’s eyes almost twinkled as he listened to Gaara. “Gaara, no one’s ever said anything like that to me.”
“It is! You’re the first. In this and in, uh..” The deep blush on Lee’s neck told more than he could verbally.
Gaara opened his mouth to deliver either a comforting or witty reply, aiming for both, before the dressing room door swung open.
Temari, Kankuro, their friends Shikamaru and Kiba all stood on the other side, varying surprised and amused expressions on their faces.
“Finally! Hopefully he’ll loosen up on stage!” Kankuro rolled his eyes but let his annoying smirk linger.
“Right… See you in five for warmups. Lee, you’re invited too.” Temari offered a small, forced smile before quickly shutting the door.
The two boys shared an awkwardly quiet moment.
“I am so excited to see you and your siblings perform!” Lee’s smile showed no sign of embarrassment.
Gaara on the other hand, hid his face behind his hands and groaned softly. “You’re gonna be the death of me, Lee.”
A loud gasp forced Gaara to pull his hands away. Lee, with extreme worry displayed on his face, stared at Gaara. “You’re going to die?”
The white fluorescent lights shone bright in Gaara’s face. His heart pounded heavily in his chest. His arms ached with every bang on the drum. He had never felt so alive while playing.
It seemed as if his siblings could feel his energy through his drumming, they ramped up their strumming and singing with it.
It was a faint image, but it was certain to Gaara. A mess of black hair flipped wildly from side to side. Hands danced in the air, the owner’s body flowed and gyrated with each beat. For the first time since they’d started dating, way before Gaara had the bright idea that they could even date, he saw Lee move in a way he hadn’t before. Without the worry of his friends or the eyes of anyone, even Gaara’s. It was just Lee, the music, and possibly the supplemental hit of the Sand Siblings traditional pre-show joint that he daringly took the smallest drag from.
Gaara was beyond terrified to call them a couple in the fear of messing up such a beautiful and pure thing. Thinking of holding Lee’s hand made his stomach twist into a knot, not because he didn’t want to publicly be his lover, but because of what could happen if it all went wrong. If. It was then that he finally understood that his fear of something so trivial and so unlikely was stopping him from experiencing something so beautiful. He was in so deep and he had no plans to keep above the vast sea that was Lee.