Wanting to stay like this was hardly an option in itself, she knew. Gothel knew full and well what the consequences of this was. It felt like she had signed a contract. She had a few weeks to enjoy Theodore completely as he was and then for those blissful weeks, the price she had to pay was giving up the rest of her life to regulation, structure and expectations. Things the witch had no experience in.
She had already tried to change enough and she even felt that she did, but Gothel wasn’t anywhere close to a saint. No, there would likely be fighting and arguments and reluctant refusal at times. She only hoped that Theodore wouldn’t see her for the monster she was and give up on her. She would try her best to be his wife, to live up to the expectations of a noblewoman.
Though she was flawed and selfish. As the day Theodore was to return to his duties approached, the day she would have to be given a brief coronation to her position as Grand Duchess, she realized more and more how selfish she still was. How she wanted to keep him here and never let him go.
No, she couldn’t have thoughts like that again. She couldn’t ever resort to that. She had to enjoy the time she had left with him as he was, and then learn to accept herself as what she would have to become. So for now, she lied in Theodore’s arms, humming softly in delight as she lied awake and relaxed.