𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗚𝗔𝗠𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗨𝗘𝗦 . . . @hisinfinities
ON THE GROUND? The inquisitive, doubtful words almost make her wince. He has a point, and it only serves as more fuel to the proof that Ann isn't doing alright. If she were, she would have expected that response and either acted differently or had a response prepared. But there is nothing except silence upon her tongue. No excuse, no scramble for an explanation that will only make things MORE PATHETIC if she tried. She watches from the corner of her eye as he sits down but he doesn't press her further. ( And for that, she's relieved. )
" Sounds like you did. " She manages a wisp of a smile as she leans back against the old car. HE'D BE RIGHT. Her head turns to look at him properly upon his own remark. ONE LOST. It is a wonderful outcome for this world, but that is still one life lost. " I'm sorry. " She murmurs. People often think it EASY to bear the weight of a stranger's death. It isn't until it is experienced that people learn otherwise. It might not hold the same weight but death is death. A reminder of your own and others mortality. And they might be a stranger, but they were alive, they hoped and begged and countless little gestures that haunt long after the death. YOU BECOME NUMB TO THE GORE AFTER A WHILE. But sometimes a stranger's death sticks ; a butterfly reminds you of the hairclip they wore, or the shattering of glass a reminder of their last moments. And most people, not all - but most, carry those stranger's deaths with them in the back of their mind.
Even those few words feel exhausting to her in this moment.
The car is still warm, she can feel it through her hair as she leans her head against it. Then Gojo moves and she half expects him to leave. But he doesn't. His ever-present sunglasses are off (hers were left in her room once the sun went down), and he's watching. No joking, no theatrics that she doesn't have the energy to keep up with. Just him. The question is inescapably vulnerable. Her eyes meet his before she drops her gaze and feels her THROAT TIGHTEN TO FIGHT DOWN THE EMOTIONS. It feels childish, like when you're upset over something stupid and you know it's stupid but you can't stop it.
" Every. " She manages and she doesn't try to smile. " I'm tired of the constant despair, of the muscle aches. I'm tired of - " Her voice wavers, hanging in the air before she continues on. " - of them always looking to me with expectation. I want to help everyone, to support them, to let them believe there's something better and that they can always trust in me. " Her knees draw closer towards herself. " But it's so exhausting. " She whispers, SHAME AND EXHUASTION EQUALLY PRESENT. " Hatter provided this place of hope and offers entertainment. But he's not who people look to for reassurance - they all look to me. I'm sure you heard the others, how confident they are when I play the games with them. " The expectations are heavy and relentless. " But I have to keep it up, to keep their hope up. " She doesn't feel better saying it out loud. Her eyes slide back towards him even when her breathing trembles with suppressed emotions. She feels bad, even if he asked. " ...That kind of tired. "