#hjbender

[keyblack]

@hjbender

You. You understand.

[aces-to-apples]

Are you aware that you have unlocked Viral Achievement? 😆

https://twitter.com/rubyroug/status/1674079297441505280?s=46&t=91K_h4LztIx1NR98dpcJGQ (link may not work because Twitter is yet again fcuked up)

Un-fucking-fortunately 😒

[red-shadow-wolf-19]

Another deconstructed fic outline thing. This time for the thorki Swan Princess AU that was proposed by @hjbender. This is my interpretation and it will probably suck in comparison to whatever they write or dream up. (Read their Little Frost Troll fic and try to tell me you didn't fall in love, TRY!)

Anyway

Thor and Loki are princes from two once rival kingdoms. Wars are expensive however and after the death of Odin, Thor's father, all fight has left both sides. Laufey and Frigga decide that a diplomatic solution to peace would be a marriage alliance. Thor is about four and Loki is still a babe.

At the same time, because of the move to peace, Laufey breaks off a deal with a powerful sorcerer and ally En Dwi Gast, the Grandmaster. Pissed off, but a 'reasonable guy' the Grandmaster gives Laufey 16 years to give him payment of his services that he has rendered. The price? His crown. Naturally, Laufey refuses.

Over the next 16 years, the two princes send their summer and winter months together, traveling to each other kingdoms. Loki hosts in winter and Thor in summer. As little children, everything is fine and they are fast friends. But as they get into adolescence and teen years, they tend to argue and fight more than anything. But still they're parents insist to keep going through with the match. Luckily, both fall mutually in love with the other and the engagement is promptly announced as soon as they both agree.

At an engagement ball/ceremony, the newly minted couple have an argument and Loki storms out, threatening to break the agreement. Laufey runs after him trying to speak some sense into stubborn son. This is when the Grandmaster makes good on his promise to take his price. He leaves Laufey for dead and steals Loki away.

On his deathbed, Laufey gives a jumbled description of the events of his attack to Thor who is now on the look out for some monster that has Loki. Meanwhile, the Grandmaster has Loki under a spell that forces him to turn into a swan during the day and only back to a human by the light of the moon in a certain pond (by his well hidden castle). During the day, the prince can fly to Thor's palace and cause all sort of mischief (a la the Untitled Goose Game) in the hopes that someone will understand his plight, but in the evening he has to fend off the advances of the Grandmaster who will take off the spell if Loki agrees to marry him instead.

And that's what I got. I dunno. Is this any good? Someone tell me if I'm barking up the wrong tree with this.

[juls-art]

YOUR ART IS THE COOLEST! I’m especially loving your BSSM redraws. They’re funny-cute, so colorful and dynamic, just the absolute best. 👏💕👍💯💯👌 Questions (if you want to answer): what kind of brushes do you use? Which are your favorites? Do you use textures as well? What paint program (or branch of sorcery) are you using to make you art? Thank you for sharing your works with the world. I hope you have an awesome day! ❤️

AAAAAAaaaaaAAAaa THANKYOUUU❣❣❣❣I’m really glad you enjoyed them!! 🤗💖💖💖As for your questions;

I usually call upon the Maker to bless me with a good drawThe program I use for my personal stuff, and just main go-to is Paint Tool Sai.Any extra stuff, cooldowns I do at work are on photoshop of varing versions P: >

My main-use brushes are the following, mostly in order of how i work;

Some extra faves of mine, for that lil bit of flavour in pieces

the space one is nice for night skies n like making something grungy-- cuz it’s got a dirt texture to itand leaves is good,,, for well, leaves o vo;;;

My current cooldown photoshop pages are just 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️

Thank you again!

[hjbender]

Good Omens Fandom

I was a part of it in 2005. Some wonderful folks here on Tumblr still remember me from those days, bless them. My art was and still is hideous, but the stories seem to be holding up alright and I do eventually plan on importing them all to AO3. 

For now, you can read them all at my personal archive, which has the most recent versions of them. (The ones on AO3 now are dated and not all of my stuff is there.) Below is a listing that might be helpful for re-reading and reminiscing.

Stories

A Bat Out of Hell Rated: T Summary: Aziraphale has a serious problem when bats take up residence in the attic of his bookshop.

The Revenge of the Houseplants Rated: T Summary: FACT: Crowley's houseplants have been suffering for years at the hands of their merciless master. QUESTION: What happens when Hastur offers them a chance to avenge their misery? ANSWER: (read fic)

The Return of Hastur Rated: T Summary: A follow-up to The Revenge of the Houseplants. Hastur is tired of waiting for the Principality to deliver justice unto the Serpent and takes matters into his own hands. Claws. Infernal digits, or something. 

Operation Salvation Rated: T Summary: Sequel to Revenge of the Houseplants and The Return of Hastur. Hastur must befriend Aziraphale in order to convince the angel that Crowley is out to get him. Humor, graphic violence, blood, language, drug use.

An Amusing Account of Angelic Addiction Rated: T Summary: In the days when angels walked the earth with clubs and demons dressed as conquistadors comes a tale of overseas adventures, rioting pirates, and the true story behind the history of chocolate.

Secrets and the Serpentine Rated: T Summary: Aziraphale has a fear and a secret. It places a distance between himself and the one who knows him best, until he learns that he doesn't have to face it alone.

No Cause for Alarm Clocks Rated: M Summary: A short story detailing one of Crowley's infernal household gadgetries, and why he'll never have sex in front of it ever again. Accidental voyeurism.

Feathers Rated: E Summary: Crowley has a weakness that Aziraphale ruthlessly exploits all over the wall of his bookshop. Slight domination kink, oral sex.

Drabbles and Ficlets

Hell of a Night, T,  Crowley gets pranked at a Halloween party in 1913.

Dirty Desire, M, Famine and Pollution get it on

Naughty Knickers, T, Aziraphael has a lacy secret

Snotsicles, G, Hastur and Ligur are left out in the cold.

Snow Play, T,  Crowley gets Aziraphale to do questionable things in the snow.

Swallowed Wholly, M, Crowley has a certain...talent.

Also, my friend @quantum-witch​ drew some of the most amazing illustrations for them, so if you recall seeing lovely things while reading my stories, it wasn’t my art, it was hers. She and I are currently working on getting fic and art reunited again. 

So that’s it, then. Hit up my archive and please please have mercy on me because this fiction is old enough to be in high school and I was just a kid* myself when I wrote it, so... happy doomsday!

*A twenty-one-year-old kid.

[ktspree13]

Six Sentence Someday

Ahh!  I was tagged by @hjbender, so I’ll tease my upcoming preggo mini-fic.  Six sentences from a WIP:

Name TBD

Time jumped strangely, like he was dipping in and out of awareness. And just for a moment, he let himself slip into Thor’s fantasy, imagine himself growing round and fat, all the court envious of him, for it was he who carried the next heir to the throne.  “Yes,” he breathed.  Thor’s mouth was upon his neck, his slick fingers trailing his hole, a dizzy feeling coursing through his body.

“You’ll make such a good little wife, brother.  And wives need babies.  Who better to stuff you so full of what you crave?”

There you go.  :P  I’m still trying to write the ending.  Then it needs a lot of help in editing.......  *sigh*  Why is this so difficult?  ;)  I’ll tag @hollybennett123 @incredifishface @cuddleslutloki @cassiopeiae13 @ao3feed-thorki @saltandlimes

Also, if you’d like to play and you weren’t tagged, feel free to say I tagged you.  :) :) :)

[veliseraptor]

hjbender replied to your photoset: i am in actual physical pain right now (source)

I’m no psychologist but it sounds like the writer has a peculiar fixation with Loki’s penis.

well at least he’s in good company with the rest of us

[loxxxlay]

@hjbender replied to your post “me, when workshopping ppl’s writing: duuude, you cannot start a story...”

Hey, at least you know what to fix now! That's always good, right? I've probably been making the same dumb rookie writer mistakes for the last 15 years. XD

truuuue lmao, and SAME (though your writing is great, i’m sure you’re not lolol)

I feel like one big thing about getting better at a skill is re-learning everything you thought you knew (or, better, everything you thought you could ignore XD) except for real this time. or at least, that’s been my experience. 

like in 3rd grade “yes yes, describe a tree with the dumb 5 senses yada yada yada, that’s so dumb i wanna write Real things” versus me now trying to learn how to describe things in a scene and suddenly remembering the 5 senses advice and actually using it.... lmao it’s been a trip XD