diner cook, professionally nosey

Side blog: @sourfacedlemon, @henricus-danger-rex AO3: TheAceApples, SourFacedLemon. Extremely queer. AroAce but in an Evil™ way. Previously @thefreelancercollaboration, previously @thefreelancerdivision. Appropriately nicknamed "Salty McEnthusiasm".

[aces-to-apples]

Active AO3 account: SourFacedLemon (Fic Masterlist Tumblr Post)

Inactive AO3 account (primarily Star Wars): TheAceApples

[ess-jay-oh]

🚨Safety Alert Australia

If you rely on a hidden phone for your safety, be aware that Australia’s new emergency warning system, AusAlert, can send alerts that override silent and “Do Not Disturb” settings.

If safe to do so, turn off any hidden device before the scheduled test and only switch it back on after the test period has ended.

A national test alert will be sent at 2pm (AEST) on 27 July 2026.

[camellia-thea]

Reminder for all kiwis, today is the last day to make submissions on three very relevant bills. Even just commenting "I reject the bill" will make a tangible difference.

These are:

The Definitions of Woman and Man Amendment Bill.

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill attempts to restrict the definitions of man and woman to "adult male human" and "adult female human". This has devastating implications on our queer community, and our safety. It also impacts those who can access abortions (potentially preventing children and teenagers from accessing abortions when they need it.) Instead, urge the Government to enshrine more protections for our intersex, transgender, and takatāpui communities.

The Conservation Bill.

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill attempts to allow private sales of conservation land, potentially up to 60% of Aotearoa's conservation land would be available for private purchase. This will be devastating for our conservation efforts. Instead, urge for more protections of our conservation land.

Move On Orders Amendment Bill

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill will allow persecution of unhoused and homeless people across Aotearoa. It allows the penalization of 'disorderly and disruptive behaviour', which includes: unreasonably obstructing entry to a trade or business, breaching the peace, begging, rough sleeping, or indicating an intent to inhabit a public place. This is a direct attack on vulnerable people, with the additional punishment of potential jail time and <$2000 fine. Instead, urge the government to fix the infrastructure perpetuating homelessness, such as lack of government housing and the cost of living crisis.

edit: submissions for the Conservation Bill has been extended for 10 days, but the point still stands! It only takes a couple of minutes, and it has an impact on Aotearoa's, and your, future!

[orangeblur]

This website makes it super easy to do your submission!

yeah, nah - nine bills, six minutes, quicker than a coffee

The government is rushing nine stink bills through Parliament. Yeah Nah builds you a personalised submission on every one - quicker than a c

[blackshvck]

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

[iscariotapologist]

do you believe* individual consciousness continues after death

yes and i have more or less specific ideas of what the afterlife is

yes but i have no specific concept of what it will be like

yes but in an altered form

no but i believe in some form of afterlife

no and i have no belief in an afterlife

other nuance

idfk 🧘

results

Remaining time: 5 days 12 hours

*interpret "belief" expansively

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒"it's a moon eclipse, oh"

Written for rainbowextravanganza for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Farkas's wife brings home a lover. Better than another sabre cat pup, he supposes.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls), Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Named Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, POV Farkas, Open Marriage, mentioned polygamy, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Attempted Stalking, it's hard to sneak up on werewolves in their own home though, Woman on Top, Oral Sex, Creampie, Future Farkas/Cicero, Voyeurism, Orsimer Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, Werewolf Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform Words: 2960

[sourfacedlemon]

"show me your teeth"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

"Control is for people with no imagination,” Dorian said, lofty. “Now, turn for me, will you?" Cullen obeyed, allowed Dorian to untuck his shirt and lift it up over his head, toss it aside. "My." Dorian nearly took a step back to admire the full picture. "Illario truly wanted to send a message."

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Video Game) Relationships: Illario Dellamorte/Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford Additional Tags: Polyamory, Marking, Biting, V for Victory Flash Exchange 2026 Words: 1313

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒 "Three so Tangled"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Cicero and Farkas share the same woman.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls), Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Relationship - A marks up Hinge during sex before sending them back to B and vice versa (everybody likes it), Relationship - A & B both with Hinge but definitely not platonic with each other, Relationship - One Man’s Dom is Another Man’s Sub, Biting Kink, Scratching, Scent Kink, Polyamory, Pre-Slash, Bruises, Cunnilingus, Cowgirl Position, Creampie, Naked Female Clothed Male, Marking Chapters: 2/2 Words: 2046

[henricus-danger-rex]

It's actually sooooo fucked up and evil for disney to start releasing the Maul show right now when I'm just getting back into Danger Force because now I'm just thinking "Maul would try to convince all of DF but especially Mika and Chapa to be his apprentices, Bose would think they're best friends, Ray would constantly be getting into fistfights, and Henry would take one look at Maul slicing up some cop droids and be like 'I can have a little bisexuality, as a treat'"

[aces-to-apples]

im still correct about this and i dont think anyone is going to write it for smut wars but hope springs eternal you know

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[transhuman-priestess]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[transhuman-priestess]

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

[feyburner]

99% of fanfiction is absolute dogshit bathwater and that’s beautiful, I love that, I love that the barrier for entry is nonexistent, I love that anyone can do it, I love all the badly written porn, I love that it’s just creation for creation’s sake, I love it. Except when it’s something I’m into. When it’s something I’m into, then I’m gonna need everyone to step it up.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i can’t believe people ever called tumblr an echo chamber or a “hugbox”, i have never in my life been exposed to a group of people so thirsty to disagree with you. why did someone just say they wished they could crucify me bc i said i liked oat milk best. we all need to learn some lessons about friendship here

[bellabs-dream-lab]

Just remembered I had this screenshot on my phone somewhere and had to post it here because it really speaks to me

[christianstepmoms]

And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.

[michelleion]

you really do have to watch the video, it's everything

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[bonesmarinated]

趁人之危 (x)

[andhumanslovedstories]

Can’t believe my job makes me do my job on the days I am scheduled to work my job what the fuck