diner cook, professionally nosey

Side blog: @sourfacedlemon, @henricus-danger-rex AO3: TheAceApples, SourFacedLemon. Extremely queer. AroAce but in an Evil™ way. Previously @thefreelancercollaboration, previously @thefreelancerdivision. Appropriately nicknamed "Salty McEnthusiasm".

[aces-to-apples]

Active AO3 account: SourFacedLemon (Fic Masterlist Tumblr Post)

Inactive AO3 account (primarily Star Wars): TheAceApples

[knucklecurve]

filthy, filthy read

[grandenchanterfiona]

Your DA love interest probably never brushed their teeth in their life.

Let that sink in.

[avfwdrugec]

Oh my god

I can’t believe it

All that obsessive research into medieval dental hygiene actually paid off

I was spending all this time thinking “Literally no one cares about Thedosian dental hygiene, Amy, why are you wasting your time on this” but HERE IT IS

So yeah, this isn’t actually true! While the toothbrush itself is a fairly modern invention, there’s a well recorded history of people in medieval Europe using a combination of various sweet-smelling mouth rinses and scrubbing their teeth clean with a cloth and a mild abrasive herb paste of some sort. Some common rinses included mint and wine or mint and vinegar, and pastes included things like marjoram and mint, rosemary and charcoal, and vinegar, pickling alum, white salt and honey.

Someone even tested a bunch of historical remedies out and found out that they were mostly pretty effective.

So rest assured, your DA makeouts are probably reasonably minty fresh!

[apolladay]

What category is your last name?

Son of some guy ("Johnson", "O'Brien", etc)

Job ("Smith", "Miller", etc)

Place/town ("Hill", "del Valle", etc)

Nickname/attribute ("Short", "Goodman", etc)

Hyphenated/multiple of the above

Other (describe in the tags!)

Unsure/results

Remaining time: 5 days 14 hours

[starwarsgenerator]

you have to have a very high IQ to understand a bounty hunter named jango fett

[apolladay]

If a recipe calls for chocolate chips, do you use actual chocolate chips or just cut up chocolate?

Yes

No

Depends (on what?)

I have never made anything that called for chocolate chips

Remaining time: 6 days 2 hours

I find it hard to believe that people actually pay for chocolate chips when buying a bar and cutting it up is cheaper

[stovetop00-deactivated20230907]

We’re winning.

[lilnasxvevo]

I found his bio on societyofpresidentialdescendants.org and it was so delightful I had to copy paste the whole thing:

“Ulysses Grant Dietz grew up in Syracuse, New York, where his Leave it to Beaver life was enlivened by his fascination with vampires, from Bela Lugosi to Barnabas Collins. He studied French at Yale (BA, 1977), and was trained to be a museum curator in the University of Delaware’s Winterthur Program in American Material Culture (MA, 1980). A decorative arts curator at the Newark Museum for thirty-seven years before he retired, Ulysses has never stopped writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Aside from books on Victorian furniture, art pottery, studio ceramics, jewelry, and the White House, Ulysses created the character of Desmond Beckwith in 1988 as his personal response to Anne Rice’s landmark novels. Alyson Books released his first novel, Desmond, in 1998. Vampire in Suburbia, the sequel, appeared in 2012. His most recent novel, Cliffhanger, was released by JMS Books in December 2020.

“Ulysses lives in suburban New Jersey with his husband of 45 years. They have two grown children, adopted in 1996.

“Ulysses is a great-great grandson of Ulysses S. Grant. His late mother, Julia, was the President’s last living great-grandchild; youngest daughter of Ulysses S. Grant III, and granddaughter of the president’s eldest son, Frederick. Every year on April 27 he gives a speech at Grant’s Tomb in New York City. He is also on the board of the U.S. Grant Presidential Library and Museum at Mississippi State University.”

[wakingfromthewater]

And frankly, the novels sound like they slap:

Desmond was nominated for a Lambda Award.

[doctorscienceknowsfandom]

“With his husband of 45 years.” You kids don’t know ... they got together before AIDS, at the peak of the Gay Glam Life. They stayed together as their generation died around them, and made through it to the point where they could marry and have a legal family. He looks like a chipper preppie who never had a serious thought or care in the world, but it took *incredible* determination, commitment, and also luck to get here.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

having now read the first of this man's vampire books, you can absolutely tell that he cares a lot about historical furniture because oh my god he really wanted to tell us about all the historical furniture in this vampire's house. material culture as foreplay. seduction via theses about chairs

[dduane]

KOSA again, with a different name… and they’re trying to sneak it past you before July 4th. CALL YOUR REPS!

The KIDS Act Would Require Age Checks To Get Online

Buried inside the KIDS Act are provisions that will push online services to verify all users’ ages, require government-directed moderation p

Like the man said…the shadow takes another form and ruses again. Time to make some calls and let them know we’re watching.

[fremedon]

Just called my senator and the aide said "Yeah, you're not the first person we've heard from about this today." It is 9:45 in the morning and she already had that weary tone.

So keep calling--the needle is moving!

[theslowesthnery]

when someone is completely fucking wrong about your blorbo but you don't want to argue about what basically boils down to opinions about shit that doesn't matter so you just sit there like

"that guy's wrong tho"

[theslowesthnery]

you get it

[eisenkrahe]

[miss-holloways]

Say what you will about redemption but the character premises for the two new leads absolutely slap. "Hardison's 20 year old hacker little sister who grew up with the highlight reel of leverage decides to join and learns the gritty details that were left out of storytime" and "guy who would probably be a mark under different circumstances decides to Do Better and get kidnapped into the team about it" are both objectively funky ideas.

[dovesndecay]

I see a lot of folks defending their vitriolic repugnance towards toddlers with cries of "but my sensory needs!" as if children are not also in possession of sensory needs. As if you, an adult here on Tumblr.com, do not have the capability and resources to learn the skills or acquire aids for coping with competing access needs. Or, y'know, just the option to leave, the way children most often do not.

You're holding an actual child to higher standards than you hold yourself, but it's the child that should be removed from public and community spaces. For your comfort.

Go fuck yourselves.

[henricus-danger-rex]

[lastoneout]

Fun how the bystander effect was coined to cover up how cops are bigoted cowards who let a queer person die and stockholm syndrome was coined to cover that the cops handled a hostage situation so badly the hostages trusted their captors more than the cops.

[softpadawan]

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Do you like this song? #843

Yes I like it, I already know it

Yes I like it, first time listening

No I don't like it, I already know it

No I don't like it, first time listening

Remaining time: 5 days 4 hours

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖

✨ Artists and titles will be revealed with the full song after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update!

⚠️➡️ Yes, spoilers includes posting the lyrics. Please don't spoil. There are other ways to have fun with the post if you reblog it, maybe be sneaky/witty about it with obscure references. Have fun while following the rules! 😄💖 Fandom blogs/communities are welcome to reblog, but please keep that as far as it goes with spoilers!

[redstonedust]

its actually easy to de-enshittify your digital experience all you need to do is install this browser extension and this browser extension and this browser extension and input this custom script into the advanced box and go into your system settings and reconfigure all these options you didnt know existed and change your entire workflow and switch to this alternative operating system and this alternative web browser and this alternative chat client and this alternative word processor and this alternative- sorry that one turned out to be malware delete that one okay now double check your task manager for unwanted background processes and element block these ads and invest in a good VPN and append all your searches with AI blocking keywords and wait a few years until everything you just did becomes shitty too so you can do it all over again okay kitten. its literally that easy.