diner cook, professionally nosey

Side blog: @sourfacedlemon, @henricus-danger-rex AO3: TheAceApples, SourFacedLemon. Extremely queer. AroAce but in an Evil™ way. Previously @thefreelancercollaboration, previously @thefreelancerdivision. Appropriately nicknamed "Salty McEnthusiasm".

[aces-to-apples]

Active AO3 account: SourFacedLemon (Fic Masterlist Tumblr Post)

Inactive AO3 account (primarily Star Wars): TheAceApples

[wetorturedsomefolks]

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

[major-comet]

thinking about red vs blue is crazy because it's like:

this is a story about how you can't keep chasing ghosts forever. there's alien/human mpreg.

holding onto the past is holding you back - you have to learn to let go and say goodbye. ed robertson from the barenaked ladies plays a guy who (jokingly?) tells his soldiers that if he weren't their CO he'd make them call him daddy.

family isn't always defined by appearances and you may find it in those you least expect. the aliens speak entirely in blargs and honks.

everything we do is driven by love - love for your current companions and loves that have been lost along the way. it has one of the most intense and longest running queer-baits i've ever personally witnessed.

veterans aren't given the proper support to be able to return to a civilian life, and this systemic issue causes problems for everyone in all levels of society. there's a homophobic bomb.

you can't change what's happened to you and the ones you love; you just have to find a way to keep moving forward. one of the main characters only speaks in poorly translated spanish.

everyone has the capacity to change and be better. it has one of the most convoluted and complicated time travel plots i have ever seen.

it's an incredible piece of media and proof that you can create something incredible with the limited tools available to you. there are chunks of it that are borderline unwatchable.

it's changed the way I approach storytelling forever. i can't easily recommend it to pretty much anyone.

[shadows-and-starlight]

The passion put into the voice acting is excellent. And it has to be because you don't see any of the main character's faces until at least season 9.

The show opens up with a philosophical question of what is the meaning of life and why are we here, and themes of life and death underline the series. For the characters however, who lives, who dies, and who comes back from the dead is always determined by what is the funniest commitment to the bit.

[willgrahamscock]

the most essential part of a fandom are those people who immediately tell you to write it, draw it, make it when you share your ideas, you have no idea how many fanworks are born just because someone encouraged it

[butch-king-frankenstein]

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

[butch-king-frankenstein]

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

[parawyrm]

[darthwillies]

full respect to the obianidala shippers but my personal flavour is obi-wan kenobi: weird ever-present uncle.

he's anidala's permanent third wheel. literally attached at the hip with anakin, full force dyad going on, their bond is so intense and lifelong and unbreakable and yet incredibly platonic. the twins have a whole additional parent who a) did not sign up for this and b) is not now nor has ever been romantically involved with their actual parents, and yet is decidedly part of the throuple somehow

jedi master obi-wan kenobi did not volunteer to be a platonic addition to the amidala-skywalker family, yet somehow "family outings" always include him? he's taking shifts in the night when the twins are young - temporarily, obviously, as an act of compassion and friendship - but then he somehow ends up with a permanent room in the amidala-skywalker household and everyone just... rolls with that? he has a whole separate life going on at the jedi temple, so why is he on the chore chart? and doing the chores? and getting mad when the space dishwasher is suboptimally packed? and he's ended up on the rotation of people the twins cry for??? they've got 'mama', 'dada', and 'o-bba'???? and that's him??!??!?

obi-wan is adopted into the family in much the way of a feral cat: he has no intention of joining them and is actively hostile to the idea, only to look around a year later and realise he's become a key and foundational member. despite, and this is critical, having no romantic involvement whatsoever in the married-with-kids scenario

sometimes a family can be a mother, a father, two children, and the dad's lifelong devoted platonic mind-bonded partner who grumbles the whole time but keeps taking time off from his important Jedi Council duties to shepherd the kids to their space sport games and spallet (space ballet) classes

[ess-jay-oh]

🚨Safety Alert Australia

If you rely on a hidden phone for your safety, be aware that Australia’s new emergency warning system, AusAlert, can send alerts that override silent and “Do Not Disturb” settings.

If safe to do so, turn off any hidden device before the scheduled test and only switch it back on after the test period has ended.

A national test alert will be sent at 2pm (AEST) on 27 July 2026.

[camellia-thea]

Reminder for all kiwis, today is the last day to make submissions on three very relevant bills. Even just commenting "I reject the bill" will make a tangible difference.

These are:

The Definitions of Woman and Man Amendment Bill.

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill attempts to restrict the definitions of man and woman to "adult male human" and "adult female human". This has devastating implications on our queer community, and our safety. It also impacts those who can access abortions (potentially preventing children and teenagers from accessing abortions when they need it.) Instead, urge the Government to enshrine more protections for our intersex, transgender, and takatāpui communities.

The Conservation Bill.

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill attempts to allow private sales of conservation land, potentially up to 60% of Aotearoa's conservation land would be available for private purchase. This will be devastating for our conservation efforts. Instead, urge for more protections of our conservation land.

Move On Orders Amendment Bill

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill will allow persecution of unhoused and homeless people across Aotearoa. It allows the penalization of 'disorderly and disruptive behaviour', which includes: unreasonably obstructing entry to a trade or business, breaching the peace, begging, rough sleeping, or indicating an intent to inhabit a public place. This is a direct attack on vulnerable people, with the additional punishment of potential jail time and <$2000 fine. Instead, urge the government to fix the infrastructure perpetuating homelessness, such as lack of government housing and the cost of living crisis.

edit: submissions for the Conservation Bill has been extended for 10 days, but the point still stands! It only takes a couple of minutes, and it has an impact on Aotearoa's, and your, future!

[orangeblur]

This website makes it super easy to do your submission!

yeah, nah - nine bills, six minutes, quicker than a coffee

The government is rushing nine stink bills through Parliament. Yeah Nah builds you a personalised submission on every one - quicker than a c

[blackshvck]

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

[iscariotapologist]

do you believe* individual consciousness continues after death

yes and i have more or less specific ideas of what the afterlife is

yes but i have no specific concept of what it will be like

yes but in an altered form

no but i believe in some form of afterlife

no and i have no belief in an afterlife

other nuance

idfk 🧘

results

Remaining time: 5 days 8 hours

*interpret "belief" expansively

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒"it's a moon eclipse, oh"

Written for rainbowextravanganza for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Farkas's wife brings home a lover. Better than another sabre cat pup, he supposes.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls), Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Named Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, POV Farkas, Open Marriage, mentioned polygamy, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Attempted Stalking, it's hard to sneak up on werewolves in their own home though, Woman on Top, Oral Sex, Creampie, Future Farkas/Cicero, Voyeurism, Orsimer Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, Werewolf Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform Words: 2960

[sourfacedlemon]

"show me your teeth"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

"Control is for people with no imagination,” Dorian said, lofty. “Now, turn for me, will you?" Cullen obeyed, allowed Dorian to untuck his shirt and lift it up over his head, toss it aside. "My." Dorian nearly took a step back to admire the full picture. "Illario truly wanted to send a message."

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Video Game) Relationships: Illario Dellamorte/Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford Additional Tags: Polyamory, Marking, Biting, V for Victory Flash Exchange 2026 Words: 1313

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒 "Three so Tangled"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Cicero and Farkas share the same woman.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls), Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Relationship - A marks up Hinge during sex before sending them back to B and vice versa (everybody likes it), Relationship - A & B both with Hinge but definitely not platonic with each other, Relationship - One Man’s Dom is Another Man’s Sub, Biting Kink, Scratching, Scent Kink, Polyamory, Pre-Slash, Bruises, Cunnilingus, Cowgirl Position, Creampie, Naked Female Clothed Male, Marking Chapters: 2/2 Words: 2046

[henricus-danger-rex]

It's actually sooooo fucked up and evil for disney to start releasing the Maul show right now when I'm just getting back into Danger Force because now I'm just thinking "Maul would try to convince all of DF but especially Mika and Chapa to be his apprentices, Bose would think they're best friends, Ray would constantly be getting into fistfights, and Henry would take one look at Maul slicing up some cop droids and be like 'I can have a little bisexuality, as a treat'"

[aces-to-apples]

im still correct about this and i dont think anyone is going to write it for smut wars but hope springs eternal you know

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[transhuman-priestess]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[transhuman-priestess]

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

[feyburner]

99% of fanfiction is absolute dogshit bathwater and that’s beautiful, I love that, I love that the barrier for entry is nonexistent, I love that anyone can do it, I love all the badly written porn, I love that it’s just creation for creation’s sake, I love it. Except when it’s something I’m into. When it’s something I’m into, then I’m gonna need everyone to step it up.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i can’t believe people ever called tumblr an echo chamber or a “hugbox”, i have never in my life been exposed to a group of people so thirsty to disagree with you. why did someone just say they wished they could crucify me bc i said i liked oat milk best. we all need to learn some lessons about friendship here