diner cook, professionally nosey

Side blog: @sourfacedlemon, @henricus-danger-rex AO3: TheAceApples, SourFacedLemon. Extremely queer. AroAce but in an Evil™ way. Previously @thefreelancercollaboration, previously @thefreelancerdivision. Appropriately nicknamed "Salty McEnthusiasm".

[aces-to-apples]

Active AO3 account: SourFacedLemon (Fic Masterlist Tumblr Post)

Inactive AO3 account (primarily Star Wars): TheAceApples

[blackshvck]

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

[iscariotapologist]

do you believe* individual consciousness continues after death

yes and i have more or less specific ideas of what the afterlife is

yes but i have no specific concept of what it will be like

yes but in an altered form

no but i believe in some form of afterlife

no and i have no belief in an afterlife

other nuance

idfk 🧘

results

Remaining time: 5 days 21 hours

*interpret "belief" expansively

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒"it's a moon eclipse, oh"

Written for rainbowextravanganza for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Farkas's wife brings home a lover. Better than another sabre cat pup, he supposes.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls), Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Named Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, POV Farkas, Open Marriage, mentioned polygamy, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Attempted Stalking, it's hard to sneak up on werewolves in their own home though, Woman on Top, Oral Sex, Creampie, Future Farkas/Cicero, Voyeurism, Orsimer Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, Werewolf Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform Words: 2960

[sourfacedlemon]

"show me your teeth"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

"Control is for people with no imagination,” Dorian said, lofty. “Now, turn for me, will you?" Cullen obeyed, allowed Dorian to untuck his shirt and lift it up over his head, toss it aside. "My." Dorian nearly took a step back to admire the full picture. "Illario truly wanted to send a message."

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Video Game) Relationships: Illario Dellamorte/Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford Additional Tags: Polyamory, Marking, Biting, V for Victory Flash Exchange 2026 Words: 1313

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒 "Three so Tangled"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Cicero and Farkas share the same woman.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls), Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Relationship - A marks up Hinge during sex before sending them back to B and vice versa (everybody likes it), Relationship - A & B both with Hinge but definitely not platonic with each other, Relationship - One Man’s Dom is Another Man’s Sub, Biting Kink, Scratching, Scent Kink, Polyamory, Pre-Slash, Bruises, Cunnilingus, Cowgirl Position, Creampie, Naked Female Clothed Male, Marking Chapters: 2/2 Words: 2046

[henricus-danger-rex]

It's actually sooooo fucked up and evil for disney to start releasing the Maul show right now when I'm just getting back into Danger Force because now I'm just thinking "Maul would try to convince all of DF but especially Mika and Chapa to be his apprentices, Bose would think they're best friends, Ray would constantly be getting into fistfights, and Henry would take one look at Maul slicing up some cop droids and be like 'I can have a little bisexuality, as a treat'"

[aces-to-apples]

im still correct about this and i dont think anyone is going to write it for smut wars but hope springs eternal you know

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[transhuman-priestess]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[transhuman-priestess]

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

[feyburner]

99% of fanfiction is absolute dogshit bathwater and that’s beautiful, I love that, I love that the barrier for entry is nonexistent, I love that anyone can do it, I love all the badly written porn, I love that it’s just creation for creation’s sake, I love it. Except when it’s something I’m into. When it’s something I’m into, then I’m gonna need everyone to step it up.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i can’t believe people ever called tumblr an echo chamber or a “hugbox”, i have never in my life been exposed to a group of people so thirsty to disagree with you. why did someone just say they wished they could crucify me bc i said i liked oat milk best. we all need to learn some lessons about friendship here

[bellabs-dream-lab]

Just remembered I had this screenshot on my phone somewhere and had to post it here because it really speaks to me

[christianstepmoms]

And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.

[michelleion]

you really do have to watch the video, it's everything

[avelera]

I’m a big fan of reenactment archaeology. I think there’s a lot to be said for recreating a scenario to better understand decisions made in generations past. Usually there’s an inherent logic to them.

Which is to say, that now that I have a baby of my own, I understand so much better the common cultural practice in which unmarried women wear their hair loose and uncovered, while married women have their hair covered and/or bound back.

I doubt it was just for modesty, oh no. No, my friends, I see now that the reason for this common practice of mothers binding back their hair is because there is nothing, I mean nothing, a baby love more than YANKING EVERY STRAND OF HAIR THAT COMES WITHIN GRABBING DISTANCE OF THEIR STICKY, SWEATY, AND IMPOSSIBLY STRONG LITTLE HANDS.

[bonesmarinated]

趁人之危 (x)

[andhumanslovedstories]

Can’t believe my job makes me do my job on the days I am scheduled to work my job what the fuck

[whatbigotspost]

2021:

Spanking has negative long-term effects, Texas researcher's review of nearly 70 studies finds

Researchers focused on whether kids that are spanked are more likely to share or, conversely, more likely to have anxiety, years down the li

2021:

The Effect of Spanking on the Brain

Spanking found to impact children's brain response, leading to lasting consequences.

2018:

Science Again Says Spanking Hurts Kids Long Term

The American Academy of Pediatrics says new evidence and research not only show that spanking affects a child’s brain development and increa

2016:

Spanking Harms Kids, Doesn't Work And Leads To Long-Term Problems

Kids who are spanked tend to act out more and have more problems later on.

2012:

A study reviewed more than two decades of research on the effects of spanking and found nothing positive to report, only that physical punis

2010:

The Long-Term Effects of Spanking

A multiyear study shows spanking kids makes them more aggressive later on

I haven’t pissed people off lately by reminding them that ALL types of physical punishment of kids has been proven beyond ANY reasonable doubt to have only negative long term outcomes.

So let me scream it from the hilltops:

Stop hitting kids. End of sentence.

If you think, “but I was hit and I turned out just fine” let me pre-reply: NO YOU DID NOT. You think hitting a child is ok, how the fuck does that qualify as “fine”?????? From one abuse survivor to another: please start healing yourself.

[whatbigotspost]

This post needs a "it's been 5 years" update, so here we go:

2022:

Spanking and children's social competence: Evidence from a US kindergarten cohort study

Spanking is a risk factor for children's social competency. However, establishing causality is a challenge, given selection bias in samples

The effects of spanking on psychosocial outcomes: revisiting genetic and environmental covariation - Journal of Experimental Criminology

Background There is a vast literature on the negative associations between spanking in childhood and various psychosocial developmental outc

2023:

Corporal Punishment in Schools - PubMed

The use of corporal punishment in schools is not an effective or ethical method for management of behavior concerns and causes harm to stude

Spanking and executive functioning in US children: A longitudinal analysis on a matched sample

Spanking has been linked to multiple maladaptive child outcomes. However, previous research linking spanking with children's executive funct

2024:

Corporal punishment is believed to precede various forms of violent behavior, yet prior research has yielded inconsistent findings, partly d

2025:

Corporal punishment of children: the public health impact

This technical report describes the prevalence, risk factors for, and consequences of child corporal punishment, which it defines as “any pu

Spanking and other physical discipline lead to exclusively negative outcomes for children in low- and middle-income countries

Physically punishing children in low- and middle-income countries (LMICs) has exclusively negative outcomes -- including poor health, lower

[whatbigotspost]

YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME TUMBLR

So annoying. So GD annoying.

[headspace-hotel]

The World Health Organization report I highly recommend because there are so many conclusions that are shocking and yet completely obvious.

For example, being exposed to corporal punishment as a kid makes it more likely for a person to commit domestic violence against a partner. In places where corporal punishment is normal, people are more likely to think that rape and intimate partner violence are normal. Kids who are spanked are more likely to be violent with and to bully other kids.

Spanking is literally teaching a kid that violence is okay and normal and it affects the whole society.

It also talks about how corporal punishment affects the brain in its development. It changes the structure of the brain and slows the development of mental abilities. Kids who get spanked have much stronger hormonal responses to stress.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

the idea that a sex scene in fiction is fundamentally useless/simply for audience titillation UNLESS they’re fucking infodumping exposition while they bone or something is so funny and myopic to me. like, you really genuinely believe for real that there is NOTHING to be gained about your understanding of a story or characters simply from how they approach and engage in sex? really for real?