diner cook, professionally nosey

Side blog: @sourfacedlemon, @henricus-danger-rex AO3: TheAceApples, SourFacedLemon. Extremely queer. AroAce but in an Evil™ way. Previously @thefreelancercollaboration, previously @thefreelancerdivision. Appropriately nicknamed "Salty McEnthusiasm".

[aces-to-apples]

Active AO3 account: SourFacedLemon (Fic Masterlist Tumblr Post)

Inactive AO3 account (primarily Star Wars): TheAceApples

[willgrahamscock]

the most essential part of a fandom are those people who immediately tell you to write it, draw it, make it when you share your ideas, you have no idea how many fanworks are born just because someone encouraged it

[butch-king-frankenstein]

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

[butch-king-frankenstein]

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

[butch-king-frankenstein]

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame

[parawyrm]

[darthwillies]

full respect to the obianidala shippers but my personal flavour is obi-wan kenobi: weird ever-present uncle.

he's anidala's permanent third wheel. literally attached at the hip with anakin, full force dyad going on, their bond is so intense and lifelong and unbreakable and yet incredibly platonic. the twins have a whole additional parent who a) did not sign up for this and b) is not now nor has ever been romantically involved with their actual parents, and yet is decidedly part of the throuple somehow

jedi master obi-wan kenobi did not volunteer to be a platonic addition to the amidala-skywalker family, yet somehow "family outings" always include him? he's taking shifts in the night when the twins are young - temporarily, obviously, as an act of compassion and friendship - but then he somehow ends up with a permanent room in the amidala-skywalker household and everyone just... rolls with that? he has a whole separate life going on at the jedi temple, so why is he on the chore chart? and doing the chores? and getting mad when the space dishwasher is suboptimally packed? and he's ended up on the rotation of people the twins cry for??? they've got 'mama', 'dada', and 'o-bba'???? and that's him??!??!?

obi-wan is adopted into the family in much the way of a feral cat: he has no intention of joining them and is actively hostile to the idea, only to look around a year later and realise he's become a key and foundational member. despite, and this is critical, having no romantic involvement whatsoever in the married-with-kids scenario

sometimes a family can be a mother, a father, two children, and the dad's lifelong devoted platonic mind-bonded partner who grumbles the whole time but keeps taking time off from his important Jedi Council duties to shepherd the kids to their space sport games and spallet (space ballet) classes

[ess-jay-oh]

🚨Safety Alert Australia

If you rely on a hidden phone for your safety, be aware that Australia’s new emergency warning system, AusAlert, can send alerts that override silent and “Do Not Disturb” settings.

If safe to do so, turn off any hidden device before the scheduled test and only switch it back on after the test period has ended.

A national test alert will be sent at 2pm (AEST) on 27 July 2026.

[camellia-thea]

Reminder for all kiwis, today is the last day to make submissions on three very relevant bills. Even just commenting "I reject the bill" will make a tangible difference.

These are:

The Definitions of Woman and Man Amendment Bill.

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill attempts to restrict the definitions of man and woman to "adult male human" and "adult female human". This has devastating implications on our queer community, and our safety. It also impacts those who can access abortions (potentially preventing children and teenagers from accessing abortions when they need it.) Instead, urge the Government to enshrine more protections for our intersex, transgender, and takatāpui communities.

The Conservation Bill.

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill attempts to allow private sales of conservation land, potentially up to 60% of Aotearoa's conservation land would be available for private purchase. This will be devastating for our conservation efforts. Instead, urge for more protections of our conservation land.

Move On Orders Amendment Bill

Make a submission urging officials to reject the bill here.

This bill will allow persecution of unhoused and homeless people across Aotearoa. It allows the penalization of 'disorderly and disruptive behaviour', which includes: unreasonably obstructing entry to a trade or business, breaching the peace, begging, rough sleeping, or indicating an intent to inhabit a public place. This is a direct attack on vulnerable people, with the additional punishment of potential jail time and <$2000 fine. Instead, urge the government to fix the infrastructure perpetuating homelessness, such as lack of government housing and the cost of living crisis.

edit: submissions for the Conservation Bill has been extended for 10 days, but the point still stands! It only takes a couple of minutes, and it has an impact on Aotearoa's, and your, future!

[orangeblur]

This website makes it super easy to do your submission!

yeah, nah - nine bills, six minutes, quicker than a coffee

The government is rushing nine stink bills through Parliament. Yeah Nah builds you a personalised submission on every one - quicker than a c

[blackshvck]

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

[iscariotapologist]

do you believe* individual consciousness continues after death

yes and i have more or less specific ideas of what the afterlife is

yes but i have no specific concept of what it will be like

yes but in an altered form

no but i believe in some form of afterlife

no and i have no belief in an afterlife

other nuance

idfk 🧘

results

Remaining time: 5 days 9 hours

*interpret "belief" expansively

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒"it's a moon eclipse, oh"

Written for rainbowextravanganza for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Farkas's wife brings home a lover. Better than another sabre cat pup, he supposes.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls), Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Named Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, POV Farkas, Open Marriage, mentioned polygamy, Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Attempted Stalking, it's hard to sneak up on werewolves in their own home though, Woman on Top, Oral Sex, Creampie, Future Farkas/Cicero, Voyeurism, Orsimer Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform, Werewolf Dovahkiin | Dragonborn (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform Words: 2960

[sourfacedlemon]

"show me your teeth"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

"Control is for people with no imagination,” Dorian said, lofty. “Now, turn for me, will you?" Cullen obeyed, allowed Dorian to untuck his shirt and lift it up over his head, toss it aside. "My." Dorian nearly took a step back to admire the full picture. "Illario truly wanted to send a message."

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Dragon Age: The Veilguard (Video Game) Relationships: Illario Dellamorte/Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford Additional Tags: Polyamory, Marking, Biting, V for Victory Flash Exchange 2026 Words: 1313

[sourfacedlemon]

🔒 "Three so Tangled"

Gifted to me for the V for Victory Exchange 2026!

Cicero and Farkas share the same woman.

Rating: Explicit Fandom: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Relationships: Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls), Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Farkas (Elder Scrolls) Additional Tags: Relationship - A marks up Hinge during sex before sending them back to B and vice versa (everybody likes it), Relationship - A & B both with Hinge but definitely not platonic with each other, Relationship - One Man’s Dom is Another Man’s Sub, Biting Kink, Scratching, Scent Kink, Polyamory, Pre-Slash, Bruises, Cunnilingus, Cowgirl Position, Creampie, Naked Female Clothed Male, Marking Chapters: 2/2 Words: 2046

[henricus-danger-rex]

It's actually sooooo fucked up and evil for disney to start releasing the Maul show right now when I'm just getting back into Danger Force because now I'm just thinking "Maul would try to convince all of DF but especially Mika and Chapa to be his apprentices, Bose would think they're best friends, Ray would constantly be getting into fistfights, and Henry would take one look at Maul slicing up some cop droids and be like 'I can have a little bisexuality, as a treat'"

[aces-to-apples]

im still correct about this and i dont think anyone is going to write it for smut wars but hope springs eternal you know

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[transhuman-priestess]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[transhuman-priestess]

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

[feyburner]

99% of fanfiction is absolute dogshit bathwater and that’s beautiful, I love that, I love that the barrier for entry is nonexistent, I love that anyone can do it, I love all the badly written porn, I love that it’s just creation for creation’s sake, I love it. Except when it’s something I’m into. When it’s something I’m into, then I’m gonna need everyone to step it up.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i can’t believe people ever called tumblr an echo chamber or a “hugbox”, i have never in my life been exposed to a group of people so thirsty to disagree with you. why did someone just say they wished they could crucify me bc i said i liked oat milk best. we all need to learn some lessons about friendship here

[bellabs-dream-lab]

Just remembered I had this screenshot on my phone somewhere and had to post it here because it really speaks to me

[christianstepmoms]

And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.

[michelleion]

you really do have to watch the video, it's everything