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Hazel: I am convinced Momoko and Felix share a brain cell.
Killian: And it's not in use very often, it seems.
Rupert: Every talk I have with you people gets more and more absurd!
Great-aunt Marianne: You say 'you people' as if you're not a part of the group. Well, I've got news for you, bud- you're already on the Christmas card.
The Paragon: As your best friend-
Killian: you’re not my best friend.
Paragon: AS YOUR BEST FRIEND
Killian: Why dont we start a fire, pull the fire alarm and get everyone out of here?
Hazel: Or we could just pull the fire alarm?
Killian: Without a fire? Thats illegal! Do you want me to get in trouble?
Hazel: Of course we’re in love. That’s why I tried to shoot you.
Killian: If we were really in love, you wouldn't have missed.
[bank drive-thru window]
Felix, in an Italian accent: I'd a like-a to make-a the deposit.
Bank teller: HEY BUDDY I REMEMBER YOU.
Felix: *frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*
Bank teller: DANGIT IT'S HIM AGAIN!
Killian : Are you busy? Hazel: No. Killian : Want to do something? Hazel: Why would you try to ruin this for me?
Josh: Surgery is basically just stabbing someone to life.
Rupert: Please never become a surgeon.
