#honest synopsis

[everymanbooks]

Mr. Darcy has made his final "balls" joke, and is now irrevocably played by Seth Rogan in my head.

[everyman-esq]

You go Professor X! Free the space jellyfish!!

[everymanbooks]

This is Harder Than I Thought...

So, I have been trying for about ten days to write a post. It was a fun post, about Terry Pratchett, but I couldn’t stop it from sounding like an eighth-grade book report. It was bad. I cried on the inside. And, since I didn’t want to stop you from ever, ever, ever reading the Diskworld series (very funny British humor, some satire, you’d like it), I’ve decided instead to write about one of my all-time favorites. So, without further ado: Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin This book is flipping amazing. Also, very, very hard to summarize. You’ll often find it in the fantasy section, but I don’t agree with that. It does have magic, of a kind, but it isn’t a central part of the story. This is, basically, a love story. It spans a hundred years and all of America, but mostly, it’s about a girl, New York, and a man who thinks he can’t save either of them. It’s a good story, full of Judeo-Christian symbolism, and multi-layered word pictures that are more vivid than the real Big Apple. Seriously, avoid New York City for a while after you read this. The only things that you’ll notice are the fog and Grand Central’s ceiling. But the best part of this book is the incidental side characters. Like Jesse Honey, the insane midget traveling salesman, who claims he will make his first million on a device that will let you pee on the go (it’s tape and an old can), before being swept away down a river on a raft of his own invention. Like Ainsbury and Christina, who have one of the best love stories ever told, kind of accidentally, in a single chapter towards the end of the book. Like little Abby, who dances on the railing of her family’s apartment balcony, and who maybe goes on and changes the world. It’s like seeing all kinds of strange and wonderful things out the window of a car. They’re there, then gone, leaving you with the feeling that maybe they’ll be important later. Sometimes they are. So, to sum up: Title: Winter’s Tale Author: Mark Helprin Rating:⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Favorite quote: “You will know who you are, forever, by knowing what it is that you love”

[everyman-esq]

This post brought to you by:

The fact that I'm an emotional wreck and it's the full moon. Also, the fact that PTS exists.

[everyman-esq]

DONT DO THIS DONT HAVE SEX THIS IS A HORROR SHOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!!!

Everybody’s going to die because you couldn’t focus. Vasili, I raised you better than this.

[everyman-esq]

I don't like Hook (well, I don't trust him, kinda do like him) but damn, his sweater game is strong.

[everyman-esq]

I will only approve of this downward spiral if it ends with Eph shaving his head. Bitter drunken scientists FTW!

[everyman-esq]

Trying to screw my courage to the sticking place and start season two...