Summary;; “It’s my understanding you want to be punished, correct?”
~~~
A little birthday fic for our Hongbinnie while we wait for him to return and start streaming once more.
Notes;; Not my best but I miss him too much not to write something.
My Masterlist
"Don't come here! Just go!"
Sparing a brief glance at your boyfriend, you shook your head at his outburst. It wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last. His mood remained playful and he was still up to his usual antics which was great for his viewers but not so great for you. Most of his Twitch streams lasted for a few hours and your current position left you stranded just outside the webcam view.
A deep, devious chuckle brought your attention back to Hongbin. Clad in a loose white shirt and armed with a large water bottle, he was without a doubt causing trouble in whichever virtual world was unfortunate enough to host him. His black hair should have looked a mess as he had rolled straight out of bed and onto his gaming chair but instead it resembled silk, smooth and shiny without effort. With nary a blemish and minimal black rings under his eyes, it pleased you to see that last night had left him well-rested.
"You cannot pass," he spoke into his headset, a sing-song lilt in his tone. "Ah, let me give you an express ticket out of the server."
From your position on the bed, you were too far away from the screen to catch a glimpse of the game he was playing and with his earphones plugged in, you couldn't even hear anything. All you could do was stare at him and his animated reactions. Most of the time he laughed, clearly planning something mischievous, with the occasion irritated groan sprinkled in. He was having fun and this was enough to entertain you… well, at least for about twenty-five minutes until you realised your phone wasn't where you had left it on the nightstand. Even you had your limits and that limit was met when you saw your screen light up out of the webcam's view on the other side of the room.
It was a form of silent punishment and the reason behind it was pointless. As far as you had known, he hadn't any plans for the morning and you wanted to sleep in. What's the crime in resting for a little longer? So you might have snoozed the alarm that was his gentle nudges three times too many but that didn't mean you should have to wait here for him to take mercy on you and turn the stream off. He could easily spend eight hours gaming - did he really expect you to stay quiet that whole time? At this rate you wouldn't even last an hour.
After another playful outburst of jabs at his opponents, it was time to make your move. You had no intention of waiting any longer so you stood tall and signalled for his attention. Maintaining a poker face, he continued with his game. Needing to do something more drastic, you opted to wave your hands over your head. Still no response. Adding a little more enthusiasm, you started to jump on the spot. Doing your best to land without a sound proved detrimental when you bumped backwards into the bed and slipped on the sheets, falling flat against the wall.
Only a fool would have thought the incident could go unnoticed by not only Hongbin but his viewers as well. The very wall itself had shaken from the impact, the tremor passing through to his computer monitor as it wobbled like a leaf in the wind. Snapping your head in his direction fast enough to crack your neck, you met his gaze for a mere second before he refocused on the game… which was now a black screen with a message that indicated defeat.
Had that glance been enough to lose the game? Was it your fault? More importantly, had he expected to win that match and how irritated would he now be at the sudden defeat? By the way he gripped his water bottle until his knuckles turned white while guzzling down several gulps, there was a good chance you had cost him a victory.
All evidence of agitation vanished, however, once the drink was placed back on the table. There was a light smile on his lips as he scanned through some comments. He laughed here and there at the remarks about his noisy neighbours and how he should request compensation for the loss. On the surface, he seemed to have moved on but you knew better.
He was seething.
"Should I complain to them?" He laughed again, the sound tighter than before. "Aish, I need a quick break. I'll restart the stream in half an hour."
With that he yanked out his earphones. Disconnecting from Twitch and turning the game off, he turned to you. Sitting on the bed with your hands in your lap, you flashed him an apologetic smile. All he offered in return was an eye roll before standing to stretch. Mimicking his actions, you swayed from side to side in an attempt to work out the tension building in your neck. When he switched to bending and flicking his fingers to increase circulation and prevent cramping, you followed his lead.
He sighed. "Are you okay? You hit the wall hard."
"Oh, you noticed that?"
"Hard not to notice a mini earthquake."
"Shut up," you scoffed, throwing a pillow at him, halting his brief walk to stand in front of you. He caught it with one hand and shook his head, pointing an accusatory finger at you.
"Me? You're the one being noisy while other people are working."
"'Working'."
The pillow landed back in its rightful spot at the top of the bed. Before you had a chance to blink, Hongbin occupied the space in front of you. A mischievous glint shone within his dark eyes as he ran his fingers down the length of your arm. Smirking at the way you shivered in direct response to his light caresses, he inched forward until your legs met the edge of the bed. Falling back against the plush bed, you gasped when he dropped down to hover above you. Encaging you back on the bed, he brushed his lips against your collarbone.
"Did you miss me?"
"I missed my phone."
"Why?"
"What do you mean, 'why'? I was bored."
"Bored? I thought you wanted to sleep."
Your retort died in your throat when you felt his teeth bear down on your shoulder. Lowering his body against yours, his hips jutted against yours upon hearing your gasp, a mix of pain and pleasure contorting the sound into a moan. Soft kisses contrasted the harsh nips he littered your skin with in his pursuit of your lips. Further exposing the sensitive expanse of your neck, you turned your head from him.
"And I thought you wanted to punish me."
"I would never," he teased, emphasizing his point once more with a sharp thrust. His nails dragged down your sides leaving a visible trail in their wake before his fingers found purchase on your hips, digging into the supple flesh until crescents bloomed. He took advantage of the growing desire fogging your mind to tilt your head back to center. Chaste kisses marked the sweet side of his affection before he dived right back into his carnal side, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth until the haze lifted from your eyes and you refocused on him.
His hand cradled your cheek. There was warmth in his touch and you felt yourself melt into his hold. For the first time since you had woken, he wore his million dollar smile. It was genuine and dazzling. A thousand words could be exchanged with that single smile.
It was your turn to chase but even with your hands interlocked around his neck, his lips evaded yours. When you lifted to meet him halfway, he chose to bypass your awaiting kiss and instead leaned down toward your ear. Warm air tickled your earlobe. Suspicion began to fester where hot anticipation once coiled deep inside the pit of your stomach. Before he even spoke you knew he was up to something.
"Time to get back to the stream."
"Huh?"
Pushing himself off the bed, he smirked as he looked down toward you. The teasing sparkle in his eyes fueled your loud protests, all of which fell against indifferent ears. "Your phone is next to mine. You can grab it on the way out-" he nodded toward the door before kneeling in front of you, "-unless you plan on staying. It's my understanding that you want to be punished, correct?"
“No, no. Like this.” You stretched out your lips, using the muscles under your skin to pull the corners up. A smile wasn’t hard for you, but for some reason, it was harder than holding up the world for the android in front of you.
He tried once again, but it came out a little too straight and a little too strained. It didn’t meet his eyes. They were as dead as they were synthetic. You let out a sigh, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Did I do something wrong?” the android – named Hongbin – asked.
You shook your head. “No! Of course not! It’s just going to take some time. Certain things couldn’t be programmed in your chip, so they’ll just have to be learned.”
Although, even as the word left your mouth, you were sure there were some things that he could never learn. Due to his artificial nature, emotions would always be out of his grasp. Sure, he could learn to mimic them, but they would never be real, would they?
Hongbin blinked, his voice monotone and void of any infliction. “I’m sorry I can’t do it yet.”
Picking up your clipboard, you stood to your feet. “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. We’ll get there. Eventually.”
**
Hongbin frowned at the picture book you had opened in your lap. The two of you were sitting on the floor side by side as you read and explained the children’s fable out loud to him.
“I don’t understand. How could the slower animal win?”
It was astonishing how much progress he’d made. Just by speaking with you day in and day out, he’d learned how to convey his thoughts through stressing different words and changing the tone of his voice. He’d even started contorting his facial expressions – frowning when he was confused, raising his eyebrows when he was taken by surprise. Truly, there were times where you’d forget that he wasn’t human. And it was a scary realization when you remembered.
“Because,” you chuckled, “he took his time and stayed on the path. The rabbit, overconfident in his ability, ran around, back and forth, taunting the turtle. Because he didn’t take the time to focus on the task in front of him, he missed the finish line. That’s why we say ‘slow and steady wins the race’.”
“Slow and steady,” he repeated. Then he looked up at you. The corners of his lips turned up slightly. There was an innocence in his eyes that captivated you. “Slow and steady wins the race.”
“Yes. That’s right,” you nodded, stunned. He never failed to surprise you.
Since the beginning, you’d been on this project, overseeing every step of his manufacturing. When he woke up, your fellow scientists declared that you would be his teacher; that he needed a nurturing touch. And you were all too happy to oblige. Seeing his progress up close was fascinating, but the more he learned, the more the line between man and machine seemed to blur. The outside might be made of true human tissue, but inside was gears and wires and coding.
“But is there such thing as going too slow?” he asked.
You laughed in astonishment. “Yes. There could be times where acting too slowly or being too hesitant could work against you. A happy medium is where you want to be.”
Hongbin’s face twisted into an expression of disgusted. “A… happy medium?”
You snorted. Apparently, you’d have to be careful about the phrases you used around him.
**
Today was hard. And it wasn’t even your life outside of these walls that made it so. It was the person who sat on the other side of the door. Because that’s who he was to you: a person.
You had done the one thing you swore you would never do, that seemed impossible to do. You’d fallen for him. Meeting him day after day, seeing his intelligence and eagerness to learn, it had done you in. And that was okay. That was the part you could live with.
It was the fact that he could never return those feelings that stung. It was that simple yet unchanging detail that was breaking your heart.
You didn’t want to go inside today. You wanted to spare yourself, just once. You could pretend to be sick. HR new that you had plenty to use. But you knew you’d regret missing even one day with him. So, pushing away your feelings to make room for the unbiased scientist, you swiped your badge and went in.
Hongbin straightened up at the sight of you. “Good morning, Doctor.”
Unable to help yourself, you smiled at him. “Good morning, Hongbin. Did you enjoy the movies I left you?”
It was the next step in seeing how much he’d learned, what emotions and actions he could recognize in others to make himself pass as human. That, and you thought he might enjoy something else to do in this small room.
“Yes, I did,” he nodded with a grin. He smiled often now, no longer struggling to pull his artificial muscles into the expression. Then it faded. “But there’s one thing I didn’t understand.”
Sitting down on the bed next to him, you asked, “And what was that?”
“What is this ‘love’ the people kept talking about? I feel as if I have heard it before, but I don’t understand what it means?” He looked at you with eyes ready for the answer. Why, oh why, did he have to ask this on today of all days?
“Love is…,” you took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to properly define such a difficult word.
Was there really any one true definition? And what made one version more superior over the other? Love was a labyrinth of hormones and aches and irrational thoughts and actions. It made even the most upstanding and rational person do crazy things.
But it was also beautiful. It was years spent hand-in-hand. It was kindness and laughter, selflessness and ever-changing. It was good and bad, easily given up and yet rewarding. How do you translate that into words?
“Complicated,” you finally settled on. “Love is complicated.”
“I can keep up,” Hongbin declared.
You laughed. “I’m sure you can.”
Involuntarily, your hand reached up and brush his hair from his eyes. His skin felt soft under your touch, his hair swaying back over his forehead when you let it go. The realness of what you could feel fought with what your brain knew to be true.
“Love is… something that you feel inside. Sometimes it’s simply friendship – not wanting something bad to happen to that person and to want to do nice things for them because you can. Other times – the way I’m sure the movies were meaning it - it’s… a yearning for another person. You don’t feel right when they’re not around and you can’t wait to see them again. They make you laugh and smile and you want to do the same for them. You feel happiest with that person. When they touch you, there’s fire under your skin. Not one that hurts, but one that warms you up. Just holding hands makes your heart beat fast.”
“Like this?” Hongbin took a hold of your hand, hovering the intertwined fingers between you.
Now it was your turn to frown. “What do you mean like this?” Taking ahold of your other hand, he brought it up to his chest.
Right where his heart – made of synthetic tissue, you reminded yourself – had been placed you could feel an abnormal rhythm, one that was too high for his resting state. It was beating at the same pace as yours, fast and erratic. How was that possible?
Scared, you pulled away and stood up, heading for the door. “I think I should go.”
“Wait!” Too quick for you to escape, Hongbin grabbed your arm and spun you around before trapping you between the door and himself. An arm on either side kept the door closed. “Do you feel it too?”
“Hongbin, I really should-” you stopped, stunned. The android had lowered his head so he could place his ear over your heart.
“Yours is doing it, too.”
“I really should go,” you whispered.
Straightening up once again, Hongbin nodded. “But there’s one more thing. Something I saw the humans do in the movie.”
“What was-”
You couldn’t even finish before Hongbin pressed his lips against yours. The contact sent your heart into overdrive. He tasted sweet, molding perfectly against your mouth. You wanted to press it further, drink more of him in. But you shouldn’t be doing this at all. This was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
You pushed him away, eyes wide. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”
With that you left the room, hoping and praying that no one witnessed his most human moment yet.
**
“What exactly are you saying?”
“I’m saying that the other scientist are marveled by his progress and want to know how to replicate it.”
You were standing in the office of the head scientist, looking down at him and his balding head as he spewed out words that you knew but didn’t understand.
“And what exactly will that entail?” you asked unabashed. Below your skin, your blood was boiling. You’d walked in to complete chaos even though everyone else was going around and acting like nothing was wrong. Suddenly, the schedule and purpose of Hongbin didn’t matter anymore. A new agenda had been created.
“We’re just going to run some tests on him,” your supervisor said, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands behind his head. Pit stains were very apparent even through both his button down and his white lab coat. For a man who wasn’t well-kept, he was very smug with himself.
You gritted your teeth, not in the mood to play this guessing game. “What kind of tests?”
“Well, we need to dissect his artificial intelligence,” he explained. “It’s growing and expanding at a rate we never expected. It’s unfathomable and we need to try and understand it.”
A scoff escaped before you could stop it. “It’s because his intelligence isn’t artificial. At least, not anymore. It’s evolved.”
“And we need to find out how that happened.” Leaning forward, he folded his hands on his pristine desk. It was too pristine for a scientist with a workload he supposedly had. “Don’t worry. Once we have the information we need, we’ll put him back on schedule.”
That would have made you feel better, if it weren’t for one little word he’d used earlier. “When you say dissect….”
“I mean exactly that.”
“So you’re going to put him through extreme brain surgery?”
Your supervisor shrugged. “It’s how we’ll get the information. I almost feel bad for the thing. He doesn’t respond to anesthetics so he’ll be awake while we do them.”
No. No.
Keeping your face as neutral as possible, you nodded and left the office. Nearly every fiber of every muscle in your body was shaking. It disgusted you how they didn’t care. They didn’t care that he would be alert, able to feel every prick and cut as they tore into him.
You couldn’t let that happen to him. He deserved more. He deserved a chance at a real life. He may have been created in a lab rather than a mother’s womb, but that didn’t make him any less human. There was a soul behind those eyes and they would get a chance to see the sun.
**
You waited until everyone had left. The only personnel still around were the cleaning crew and nightly security that played more online poker than actually watched the cameras. An eeriness fell over the empty hallways as you hurried towards Hongbin’s room, still keeping at a walking pace as to not raise any alarm in case someone really was watching.
As you entered inside, you held the door open and motioned for him to come.
“What are you doing here?” Hongbin asked as he stood to his feet.
“Come one!” you hissed. “We don’t’ have much time.”
“(y/n), what is going on?”
You looked at him with determination, knowing that he would trust you every step of the way, even if you had to live the rest of your lives as fugitives.
Summary: Hongbin isn’t sure whether you like him as a fan, as a friend... or as more than friends.
— requested by Anonymous: "Hi hun! So, umm... I'm a *huge* fan of your Hyuk fics and I wonder if you'd consider writing something equally smutty + emotional for Hongbin. Something like friends to lovers with Hongbin being the hesitant one, or fangirl to lover with Hongbin doubting her sincerity/if she only likes his idol persona or his gf wanting him to stop holding back in bed and just embrace the intimacy... Basically, cracking Hongbin's shell is my kink. 😫 (Also wouldn't say no to a size kink, TBH.)"
Words: 2.8k
Warnings: angst with a happy ending, making out
*
“Why are we friends?” Hongbin asks you out of the blue one day.
You look up from your knitting. “What?”
He’s just finished an hour-long stream, and his apartment seems quiet now without the gratuitous blood spattering noises and groans of murdered undead from his gory game.
You sit up straighter from your lounging position on his bed and, carefully, repeat, “Why are we friends?” How on earth are you supposed to interpret this question?
“Mm.” He stares at his screen, absent-mindedly clicking through all the gifts he’s received during the stream. “I mean, any time we hang out, it’s basically just me streaming and you watching.”
“I don’t mind, though,” you say slowly, unsure as to how this relates to his question. “I know you’re busy. And you help me promote and sell the game character plushies that I knit, too.”
“So if I didn’t help you make money…” He trails off, which makes your back go up.
“I’m not only here because you help me make money,” you say, a little stiffer. “You know I was your fan before we met.”
“You were a fan of Vixx.” His gaze is still fixed on the screen.
“Yes, and now we’re friends because we met and decided that we like each other.” You say it as a statement, not the question it is in your mind, hoping he’ll agree, or at least not negate it.
You’re pretty sure he doesn’t like you the same way you like him, but you’re—or at least, you were—also pretty sure you could call him your friend.
Why does it sound like he’s not so sure?
“But I mean, is this what friends do?” Hongbin finally turns from his desk to gesture between you and him; his brow is creased as he frowns at you. “Just meet up so one can watch the other play games?”
“Why not?”
He stares at you.
“Never mind.” He shakes his head and deliberately eases his frown. “I think I’m just tired from streaming. I’m going to get some water.”
Well, that’s a lie if you ever heard one; one hour of streaming is nothing to him. So you pick up your knitting needles and follow him out into his apartment and hover just outside the small kitchen.
You wait for him to finish gulping down an entire plastic water bottle before speaking. “Is there something going on, Hongbin-ah?”
He tosses out the bottle and flicks a short glance your way. “No. It’s nothing.”
“Then, if it’s nothing… why ask if we’re friends?”
You feel like you’re pushing the tentative limits the two of you have drawn, but he was the one who posed the question, and you need to know why.
Hongbin braces his hands against the counter, his gaze pointed downward. “I don’t know. When I finished the stream today, I looked over and saw you knitting, and I just thought, I don’t know anything about knitting. But that’s all we ever do—I stream, and you watch and knit.” He looks up. “We don’t even know that much about each other.”
“I think I know a bit about you.” Cautiously, you lower your voice to prevent it from quavering. “And I enjoy knitting and watching you stream. I could tell you about knitting if you wanted to know more about it.”
“But how does that make you different from a fan watching me at home, then?” Hongbin paces to the other side of the kitchen.
You take a steadying breath. “I mean, it’d be nice to do other things together. I was just trying to be mindful of your time, I know you’re busy as an idol—”
“I don’t need someone to be mindful of me,” he interrupts, speaking to the wall. “I need someone to be my friend, my actual friend.”
Oh, you’re so close to having your feelings hurt. “I’m trying to be, Hongbin-ah—”
He turns. “Isn’t that just because I’m Vixx’s Hongbin?”
Ugh.
“Look.” You take another breath. “If you want to believe that, then I don’t think I can change your mind.”
“You should try,” he insists. “Otherwise how can I know?”
“Me saying this right now, this is me trying,” you point out. “I’m telling you right now, I like you as a person, not as an idol. I want to be your friend. I… I want to be more than friends.”
It’s the calmest confession you’ve ever given, even as turmoil twists inside you.
For a moment Hongbin just blinks. Then he opens his mouth, and you brace yourself:
“You only want to because you’re my fan.”
Quietly, you reply, “I don’t think that’s true.”
“You can’t know for sure.”
All right. That’s it. That’s the extent of emotional labour you’re putting into this conversation. You’re not going to single-handedly break down the walls Hongbin’s built around himself or the labels he’s placed on you.
“Maybe you’re right about that.” You gather your knitting supplies and grab your backpack from the couch. “I guess the only way we’ll know is if we stop being friends, right?” You work up a thin smile and send it his way. “Then… goodbye.”
He doesn’t stop you as you walk out the door.
*
Making new friends is hard when you’re an adult. You sign up for a local knitting club, even though almost everyone there is older than you, and tell yourself you’re going to try it for at least four consecutive Saturdays.
On the third week, a younger member, Haeun, introduces you to an online creative arts platform that’s apparently popular for sharing fandom-related projects. There, you rehome the game character plushies that you’ve been unable to sell ever since you cut off contact with Hongbin.
At your fourth meeting, Haeun greets you excitedly outside the bookstore your club meets at.
“Y/N-eonni! You posted your game monster plushies online, right? You did, right?”
You’ve accepted that Haeun considers every single game character a ‘monster’, no matter how humanoid. “Yeah, I did. Why?”
She tugs you inside the bookstore and waves someone over. “This guy’s here to meet you!”
“Meet me?” You blink at the scruffy younger man who’s fixed his ardent gaze on you.
“Excuse me, did you make this?” He’s holding the completed Sonic plush that you’d added to your club’s little display in the bookstore’s bay window. “I was wondering if you would sell it to me. My girlfriend loves Sonic and I know she’d die over this.”
“Oh.” Warmth spreads through you at his eagerness. “Ah, well, it actually took me a while to make that, so to be honest I’d only sell it for a high price…” Knitting, stuffing and sewing Sonic’s spikes had been a nightmarish experience, one you’re never going through again.
“Just name your price!” the guy declares.
Wow, okay. As you think, Haeun tugs you close. “Don’t charge him under fifty thousand,” she hisses.
“One hundred thousand won,” you blurt out.
Though the man’s eyes widen a bit, his hand goes to his pocket without hesitation. “Can I e-transfer you the money?” is all he says.
That’s the start of your realization that handmade game character plushies are, apparently, a unique and lucrative niche, one that Haeun helps you develop and build. With the knitting club manager’s support, you start selling your items in a small booth inside the bookstore for half an hour after every club meeting.
One Saturday is particularly busy. The bookstore’s running a promotion, which means there’s more traffic in the store and more people chancing by your small booth. Haeun’s delighting in managing the short queue that’s formed in front of you, occasionally bounding over to pass along some info.
“Eonni, that guy in the beanie says he’s been checking your site every day for that final monster in the SEGA set! Save it for him and charge him double, okay?”
“Oh my God, eonni, the cutest little girl was asking for a monster called Pikachu. Do you have a finished Pikachu to sell? I told her yes, I hope I didn’t lie.”
“Eonni! This really hot guy asked for you by name. By your actual name, not your online username!” This time she’s shaking you hard enough that you have to turn away from the customer in front of you, who for some reason just wants your ‘autograph’. “Look! Do you know him?”
You follow her pointing finger to see: Hongbin.
He’s standing a short distance away, squinting over in your direction like he’s not sure what he’s looking at. Just as you make eye contact, Haeun draws your attention back as she slides the paper out from under your hand.
“It’s ten thousand for an autograph,” she sweetly informs the customer, and waits for him to fork over his money before letting you take the paper back. “Eonni, you should charge them for signatures, okay?” she whispers in her ear. “Fighting!”
Then she’s off to manage the crowd again, your own personal PR professional. What a gem.
After that, you explain to two more customers that you’ve sold your Wrecking Ball plushie already and no, you don’t have multiple because it takes you at least a week to knit one up, which leads to a suggestion from one of the customers to do online auctions instead of selling first-come, first-serve.
You have to chuckle a little at the idea. “I don’t think there’s enough interest to do an online auction.”
“No, you’ve got tons of fans,” the guy says earnestly.
The other girl nods. “My boyfriend actually brags to his friends about the fact that he bought your first and only Sonic plush.”
“Really?” You can’t stop your smile from spreading. “I’ll think about it then. Thank you for your interest.”
The guy hesitates for a second. Then he blurts, “Can I have a high-five?”
Boggled, you say, “Sure,” and hold out your palm.
He beams, taps his hand to yours, then bows profusely before departing.
You watch him go in bemusement. Is this what an idol hi-touch is like?
Speaking of idols:
The next customer is Hongbin.
You look up at him and manage, “Hello.”
“Hello.” He looks back for a few moments before letting his eyes drop to your table. “It’s… it’s been a while.”
“Yes. It has.” You’ve always been short next to him, but having him tower over you while you remain seated makes you feel extra tiny. For half a second you want to ask him to kneel down like he’s at a fan-meeting.
“…I’ve seen your knitting around online. Looks like you’re doing well.”
“Yes.” What does he want?
Hongbin’s quiet for a few more seconds, almost long enough for the customer behind him to get fidgety. Then he looks up into your eyes.
“I missed you,” he says.
And for the first time in over a month, you let yourself think it, let yourself say it: “…I missed you too.”
Just then, Haeun inserts herself in between Hongbin and the table. “Excuse me, are you interested in buying anything?”
“Ah, he’s not a customer,” you say hastily.
“Oh, wait, it’s this guy! Do you know him, eonni? Is he a friend?” Haeun asks.
You open and close your mouth.
“I’m just a fan,” Hongbin says to her.
A fan.
“Ahh.” She smiles at him. “If you’d just like Y/N’s autograph, that’ll be ten thousand won. But please don’t take too long, in consideration of other customers.”
“Yes,” Hongbin says politely as she takes off again.
A fan, you repeat in your mind.
“Y/N-ah.”
You look up to see his eyes fixed on you.
“Can we talk after you’re finished here?”
“…Yes.”
*
Outside, you weave your way through the crowded sidewalk toward Hongbin. He’s waiting at the nearby taxi stand, face mask pulled high and bangs hiding his eyes.
“Hi.” You stop a few steps away so you don’t have to crane your neck. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Um.” He goes to pull his face mask down, then glances around. “Maybe we should go somewhere quieter.”
“Your place?”
“No,” he says quickly. “I’d like to go to your place… if you don’t mind.”
Your brows rise. “Why? You’ve never been to my place.”
“I know,” he admits. “But—that’s why I want to go.”
Okay. You grab a taxi, and Hongbin slides into the backseat with you as you give the driver directions.
As the car pulls away, you feel Hongbin give you a side-glance.
“Er. Will it be quieter at your place?”
“What do you mean?” You keep looking straight ahead.
“I mean…” He clears his throat lightly. “Will there be anyone else home?”
“Oh. No, I live alone.”
“Ah.” He relaxes into the seat, and the rest of the ride is silent.
Once you’re in your apartment, you lead him into your small kitchen. “So, what did you want to talk about?”
His throat works for a moment before he speaks. “I thought a lot about our last conversation.”
You stay silent.
“And… I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Hongbin steps forward suddenly, making you back up a little too hastily. “I didn’t listen to you, and I was wrong.”
You regain your distance before looking up at him again. “That’s okay. Thank you for saying that.”
“I do want to be your friend, Y/N-ah.”
“I’m glad, Hongbin-ah.” You nod.
“But—” He catches hold of your hand, a very light grip that you could break if you wanted. “Do you…” He swallows. “Do you still want to be more?”
Your heartrate rises. “More?”
“More than friends.”
Slowly, you pull your hand free. “Not if you don’t want to.”
“I do.”
And all of a sudden he’s stepped into your space and your back is against the counter, his arms enclosing you. You look up, up, and he looks right back at you, eyes calling to yours.
“Y/N-ah, I do. I want you,” he says, and there’s almost some kind of pleading edge to his voice, some earnest, yearning note that tugs right at your heartstrings. “Please.”
“Are you sure?” you ask softly. “Are you sure, Hongbin-ah?”
“Please,” he repeats.
So you stretch up, up, up, and kiss him.
He meets you more than halfway, closing the substantial height difference swiftly to touch his lips to yours. When you try to push for more, he draws back.
“Is that a yes?” he checks.
This guy, seriously. “Yes, Hongbin-ah, that’s a yes.”
A wide smile lights up his face, so dazzling you have to blink moisture out of your eyes. “Y/N-ah…”
You lift your arms and tug on his shoulders. “Come back, I can’t reach you up there.”
He chuckles, the sound pure delight, and then grips you by the waist to hoist you onto the counter. Locking his arms around your lower back, he tugs you to the edge and steps between your spread legs to continue kissing you.
“I missed you,” he murmurs against your lips. Your eyelids flutter open to see him only a few inches away, looking at you with something close to adoration. “At first I didn’t even know if it was because I liked you or because I was overthinking it.” He keeps kissing you leisurely in between his murmurs. “And that kind of scared me.”
“Mm.” You want to respond to his sincere words, his apology via confession, but the way he’s surrounding you so closely, closer than you’ve ever felt to him, is making your mind whirl.
“But when I saw your knitting online…” He pulls back, tongue flicking out as he eyes your mouth. “And all the views and comments you were getting…”
You hesitate. “So you’re just jealous?”
“No! No. I thought, These people know more about Y/N than I do. And I realized it was my fault.” He brushes his mouth one more time against yours, an affectionate caress, then continues down your jaw. “If I hadn’t pushed you away, you wouldn’t be selling online…” Down your neck, his lips pulling and sucking. “You wouldn’t have all these fans after you…”
It’s getting hard to form coherent thoughts with the way he’s tucked his face into your neck, but you try. “You—ah… don’t you want me to be successful?”
He presses his nose into the curve where your neck meets your shoulder and inhales deeply. “I do. But… you’re not an idol.”
“Mm. So?”
“So, you don’t need teenage gamer boys following you around online.” Hongbin lifts his head to make eye contact again. “Do you?”
Clearly, the only correct answer is: “No… but I’m just selling my knits, Hongbin-ah, it’s not like I’m streaming with a face cam or anything.”
“Y/N-ah, I was a teenage gamer boy once. I know how they think.” He leans in to nip at your lips. “Do you think that guy today wanted a high-five because he likes your knitting so much?”
“Ye-es?”
“Wrong.”
“Okay, but…” You wriggle backward a little to get some space and make your point. “No harm, no foul, right? It’s fine if people like me, as long as they don’t actually do anything weird.”
“I like you.” He pulls you in again, negating the space between you, and spreads his hands wide over your lower back.
“I mean my customers—”
“I’ll be your fan.”
“I thought I was your fan.”
“No,” Hongbin says. “Now you’re just mine.” And he kisses you once more.
⟹ Warnings: Drug use || Mentions of drugs || Strong Yazuka/Mafia themes || Explicit sex || Unprotected sex ||
⟹ Summary: The voice in your head was screaming no, yet his scent, the misty swirl that locked you in his daze, said yes
part of the VIXX Parallel Collab hosted by @uwugalore , I chose the song Scentist to use as a base of this fic
The night was so cold. It was the first thing you noticed as you walked down the dark alleyway.
Perhaps it was because your clothes were scant - the short dress was just catching the curve of your ass, the thin fabric being held to your frame by spaghetti straps that left you open to the sharp cold of the night.
The scent of the alleyway was the first thing you noticed, the damp trash and smell of piss lingered in your nose as you walked briskly toward the darkened end. Your face instinctively scrunched in disgust as the smell heightened.
Relief washed over you as you reached your destination. The metal door was brown with rust at the edges and looked like it could barely open, yet you still knocked.
It was loud in the dark alleyway, but was concealed by the bustling city the secret corner resided in. It was answered quickly though, the hallway dark and concealed as a man stood at the door.
He was dressed in a suit, the white shirt matching his white hair which was a contrast to the navy jacket and matching slacks. The outfit was obviously tailored to fit his broad figure, the delicate chains attached to his suit accentuated the professionality this stranger carried himself with. He said nothing as he opened the door wider for you, a silent invitation for you to enter, which you accepted, neither of you speaking as he lead you down the darkened hallway.
He was handsome, filled out and muscular, rings adorned his fingers while his sharp and stern features added to his cold demeanour.
Though despite his coldness you could still notice the way his eyes lingered on your curves, how his gaze was steely yet clouded with an arousal you seemed to ignite in a lot of men. Noticing this wasn’t you being cocky - it was part of your job within the Yakuza family, Sumiyoshi-kai - to seduce targets, scope them out for information. And you knew you were good at your job as you were the favorite of the boss’ son.
The stranger lead you towards the end of the darkened hallway, walking you down cemented stairs and into a basement room with cement walls, another metal door and a dim light that dangled from the ceiling of the small space.
“Strip,” His voice was steel much like himself, his gaze situated on your face as he commanded you, “We can’t have any bugs or wires on anyone going in.”
You cocked an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at your lips as you slipped the thin straps off your shoulders, “Most people take me out for dinner first,” you responded, letting your small dress fall to the floor and reveal your naked form underneath.
His gaze raked down your body, eyes widening a bit as he realised you were bare underneath, yet that was the only reaction you got out of him.
“You’re clear,” He spoke the words gruffly, still watching your body as you redressed.
Though he was quick to turn around once the dress was back on your body, his thumb pressing against a finger scanner that allowed him access through the door. He held it open for you, gesturing for you to walk in.
The room was white; the walls, the floor, the ceiling, the lighting, the appliances - all a sterile bleached tone that hurt your eyes to look at. Though there were spots of red as you realised the room was half dedicated to displaying a red substance within skull shaped glasses along a large shelf which took up the back wall. The centrepiece of the room seemed to be an encased dead tree along with metre high pillars that had the same liquid filled skulls sat atop them. There was also a strange piano sat off to the other side with tubing and jars filled with the same red substance attached to it, which only heightened your curiosity toward the set up.
The whole setting intrigued you, yet you didn’t question it as you walked in, letting the stranger lead you to a door off to the back corner.
“He’s waiting for you in there,” His tone was still gruff, not wavering as he knocked on the white surface to let the man inside know you were there.
The person inside opened the door, his expression just as steely and stagnant as the white haired man that led you in. Though as you studied his features, you couldn’t help but feel more attracted to him, his eyes held a sparkle to them that the other man didn’t have, one that said he was more willing to play with you.
He said something to the stranger that guided you in another language, you figured it was korean considering they were a korean group working for the biggest yakuza organisation.
“Come in,” He spoke to you, his blue shaded hair falling around his eyes as he opened the door wider for you to walk in.
You nodded in response, following him into the room after him. A sense of shock and numbness gripped your body as the scent of the room hit you. It was sweet and intoxicating, reeling you and winding you up as you breathed it in deeper. There was a hue to the room that made it seem to pulsate, as if it was alive and breathing the same swirls of air as you.
“I believe you’re here on interest towards our product,” His voice was as intoxicating as the smell, your body turning to face him. He was handsome, attractive in the carefree way he lounged against the wall and let the mussed blue strands of hair fall around his eyes.
“Yes, my friend is a subordinate within the Yamaguchi-gumi, he asked me to come here for him,” Your tone was unbothered, matching the demeanour of the man in front of you.
“What’s your name?” He pushed himself off the wall, closing the gap between you both to grab your jaw gently, the pads of his fingers craning your neck and making you look into his eyes.
“y/n,” You kept calm, your body used to men touching you without asking.
“What were you told exactly about the drug that we’re selling, y/n?” His eyes looked into your own, as if he was trying to read your thoughts through the orbs.
“I wasn’t told anything about, really.” Your voice was breathless, the scent of this stranger hitting you with such an intensity you could barely breathe. It was captivating, making your body desperate to itch closer; to touch, to explore, to taste, he was pulling you in with just the smell.
“It's not a regular drug, sweetheart,” His hand slipped from your jaw to trailing down your hip, the fingertips dancing across the thin fabric, “It's not for getting yourself high,” He leant toward you slightly, bringing his body closer to yours as his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, “Its for getting others high.”
You were confused at the statement, your brow furrowing as you let the words register in your brain, “But that doesn’t make sense?”
The stranger chuckled, his fingers digging into your hips as he pulled you flush against his body, “Can I show you, sweetheart?” His lips ran across your jaw, placing a chaste kiss to the skin as he felt you melt beneath his touch.
“Y-Yes,” You were under the haze, letting him take control as he guided you backwards until the cold sting of unforgiving metal dug into the curve of your ass. The stranger’s fingers danced along your inner thigh as he lifted you onto the metal table you barely had registered was there.
His lips were on yours, coaxing you toward his body as his fingers slipped under the hem of your dress, pulling the material up your hips and revealing your soaked sex. He couldn’t help but smirk as he relished in the fact you weren’t wearing any underwear.
You whined into the kiss, your hands desperate to pull the suit jacket off of him, your fingers itching to touch and explore him. Though, he stopped you, his grip tight on your wrists as one of his hands slipped from your hip to pin you against the unforgiving metal.
It was cold and steely as you laid down on the table, your back arching and a whimper falling off your lips as you realised the compromising position you were in. Yet it only added to the fun; the stranger smirking as he brought his finger to swipe down your drenched slit, the action causing a moan to fall off your lips and your nipples to harden against the thin fabric of your dress.
“Sweetheart,” He accentuated the nickname with a press down on your clit, the dissatisfied bundle sending white hot pleasure coursing through you, “This isn’t a normal drug,” He continued to stroke and play with your clit, making sure you were getting worked up as he spoke, “You see how pleasurable you’re feeling, like nothing else could make you feel this good?”
You whimpered, a muttered ‘yes’ falling off your hips as you continued to grind down onto his thumb, his grip still pinning you in place as he pleased you. The stranger smirked, leaning in to whisper in your ear as he rubbed harder against your desperate core; “That’s the drug.”
Your body jolted as you registered what he was saying, your thoughts clouded with the pleasure he was giving you yet still confused by what he was saying. “What do you-”
“You’re from the Sumiyoshi-kai, aren’t you, baby?” His breath was hot on your ear as he spilled your dirty secret, “That's okay, I understand you’re curious why we’re on your territory.”
“H-How-”
“Don’t speak unless I give you permission,” The stranger growled, his thumb pressing harder against your clit as he accentuated his words with the notion, “We have clients in Tokyo… Ones that will give us a lot more money and power in these parts of Japan, sweetie.”
You swallowed, he was giving you too much information for you to have any chance of leaving this room again.
“Well, this is just a test run, baby,” He pulled away from your ear, his finger quickening on your clit and causing you to clench around nothing as you felt the build up of an orgasm blossom, “You’ll understand once you get to your climax.” His eyes were dark, relishing in the way your chest heaved and fear painted your features as you could barely understand what was going on.
“How bad do you want it,” His voice was a growl once more, eyes piercing yours as watched your pussy drip, “How bad do you want me to fill you up?”
Your thoughts were repressed of his previous words as his scent washed over you, the desperate need to feel and touch him overriding your senses once more, “S-So bad,” Your voice was a quiver, hips still grinding against his fingers, “I need you so bad.”
That was all the stranger needed, his lips curling back into a smirk as he released the grip on your wrists and brought his hands to his pants, being quick to release his hardened member from his slacks. You watched him pull himself out, his palm working up and down his shaft as you sat up; your legs spread and ready to take him on the edge of the table.
He leant in, his tongue hot and messy on your lips as he kissed you hard, the embrace sloppy and fast paced as he entered you. A moan was all you could suffice into the kiss as you leant back onto the table, one of his hands splayed across your back while the other held onto your hip for leverage. His length was filling you perfectly, your brain blank with any other thoughts rather than this stranger’s dick and how euphoric you felt in that moment.
His hips snapped against your own, starting a rough pace against the metal table, his own groans and moans mixing with yours as your fingers tangled in the blue strands of his hair. You were already close, the coil in your stomach intensifying as you felt his dick stroke against the spot that had you seeing stars.
If anything, the smell, the intoxicating and coaxing scent, was heightening the pleasure you felt, the coil twining tighter and tighter every time you breathed in this stranger. His lips were sloppy, leaving a wet trail against your skin as he kissed you messily.
Your nails scraped against his scalp, your moans becoming louder and more desperate as you felt your high near, the edge to your orgasm building too rapidly for you to comprehend. The stranger knew you were close, his own cock twitching in you to signify his oncoming release.
Yet, as you came, you could never have prepared your body for the pleasure you felt. One final stroke of his cock had you tumbling over, a loud moan cascading off your lips as your walls constricted tightly around him, a squirt of your essence escaping you as the white hot pleasure of your orgasm took you by storm. The pleasure, the feeling, it was too intense, the orgasm too good as your world went black, vision swimming and your limbs going numb as you felt yourself collapse in the strangers arms.
And that was all you could remember before everything went black.
shoot shoot, i requested earlier but i forgot to mention the most important parts (ahdnkw) for the drabble prompt challenge thingy i was hopping for number 15 / or 42 with hongbin from vixx and some fluff because hongbin is adorable and yes ! i'm sorry!! thank you! ah
A/N: Thank you so much for the request! I hope you like it! Please feel free to request again!
Pairing: Hongbin x Female Reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 741
Drabble Challenge Prompts
15. I’d kill for a coffee…literally.
42. Stop being so cute.
Mornings were not your thing, at all. You hated waking up early and refused to get up before ten unless you absolutely had to. Today was one of those stupid days where you had to get up early.
“(Y/N), baby, wake up,” Hongbin said as he gently shook you. You groaned and turned over, trying to hide in the covers. He laughed. “Baby we’re going to miss our flight.” Hongbin finally had a break from work and he was choosing to spend it with you. He was taking you on a trip in fact, to Europe. You two were going to travel around different European countries for two weeks, and you couldn’t be more excited. Except for the fact that Hongbin had scheduled your flight for five in the morning.
“Then we miss it.”
“Come on baby, we’re going to Europe! You can sleep on the plane.” You groaned again and slowly opened your eyes.
“What time is it?”
“Three, we need to be there by four to check-in, and then our flight is at five.” He kissed your nose when he finished speaking, causing you to scrunch up your nose. “Stop being so cute, (Y/N), it’s cringy.” You only rolled your eyes and slowly sat up.
“I hate you, it is way too early for any reasonable person to be awake.” He only grinned at you and helped you out of bed. You stood up rubbing your eyes and glanced down at your outfit, one of Hongbin’s sweatshirts and a pair of sweatpants. You then looked at your boyfriend. “I am not changing.”
He laughed, “that’s fine. I’m just wearing this.” You looked at his outfit, which was similar to yours. A t-shirt and sweatpants.
“Perfect, we can be lazy together.” He grinned and agreed, kissing your cheek then pushing you towards the bathroom. “Go get ready, all our bags are already in the car so as soon as you’re ready we can leave.”
“How long have you been awake?”
“Since about two.”
“You’re insane,” you said then walked into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later you were finally ready, but no more awake than you were before. You walked out to the car, hand in hand with Hongbin. You got into the car and promptly proceeded to try and fall asleep.
“You’re as bad as Ravi, I swear.” You only shrugged in response. After a few minutes spent in the car, you managed to fall back asleep. You woke up only to find that you guys were stuck in traffic.
“It’s three-thirty in the morning, how is there traffic!” you yelled. Hongbin laughed.
“Sleeping beauty has awoken.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, leaning back against your seat.
“This is stupid. This trip is stupid.”
“Bet you won’t be saying that once we’re there.”
“Oh, whatever.” You sighed and stifled a yawn. “I’d kill for a coffee...literally.”
“Please don’t kill anyone, I’ll get you a coffee once we get to the airport.”
“Is that a promise?”
“Yes, it’s a promise baby,” he laughed. After what felt like forever to you, which in reality was only like fifteen minutes, you finally arrived at the airport. You helped Hongbin with the bags and as promised, he bought you a coffee as soon as he found a coffee shop. You took it gratefully and held the cup tightly.
“I love you, have I ever told you how much I love you? I love you.”
“If all it takes for you to profess your love for me is for me to buy you a coffee I should really do this more often.” You shoved him playfully and he laughed as you two walked to the baggage check-in.
A half an hour later you two were finally through security and sitting at the gate, waiting for your flight to be called. You were lying across a couple of seats with your head in Hongbin’s lap, your coffee having been finished a while ago but it had done nothing to make you any less tired.
“Go back to sleep baby, I’ll wake you up when we need to board, then you can go back to sleep on the plane.” You nodded sleepily and mumbled about how he was the best. He smiled and kissed your forehead. You heard him tell you he loved you just before you drifted off, leaving you with a smile on your face as you fell asleep.
prompt (spoilery): sometimes I steal flowers from your garden on my way to the cemetery, but today you’ve caught me and have demanded to come with me to make sure the “girl is pretty enough to warrant flower theft” and I’m trying to figure out how to break it to you that we’re on our way to a graveyard
~~~
“Hey!” You hear a bright voice call out. Shit. If this were a movie there would be a record scratch and freeze frame with a “you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation” voiceover. You’re standing in someone’s garden, or more accurately, by the edge, a bunch of wildflowers in your hands.
“Caught red-handed!” The voice says, and you finally look up.
Any words you might have wanted to say get caught in your throat as you look up into the face of a young man who you believe might be the actual physical incarnation of sunlight. His smile, you could just bask in it all day. It’s so bright and effortless you find the corners of your mouth lifting in response.
“-so, my flower thief, I’ve decided the least you owe me is to let me come see and make sure this date of yours is pretty enough to warrant stealing wildflowers from a stranger’s garden.”
“What?” You tune into the sentence halfway through, mesmerized by the stranger’s uncanny resemblance to, if not an angel, then some divine being.
“Silly,” He flicks your forehead lightly, “I said, if I deem your date pretty enough, I might forgive you stealing my flowers.”
“I-” You start to say, but he wraps an arm around your shoulders, steering you down the lane.
“So this is the direction you usually head off to, don’t you, flower thief?” You look up, but he doesn’t seem too upset, in fact he looks as if someone just gave him flowers.
“You’re not mad?”
“Not really, that’s the wildflower corner of my garden. If you’d dared to touch any of my irises I might have had to chop off a finger.” His eyes narrow in an attempt to look intimidating, but it only lasts a few seconds before he bursts into laughter. You find yourself smiling again, forgetting where you were going in the first place.
“I wouldn’t dare touch any of those. Anyway, wildflowers were always her favorite.”
“Oh, so it is a girl! Well if she’s half as pretty as you are, then I’ll be satisfied.” You find yourself blushing. How do I break it to this beautiful boy that we’re going to a cemetery?
“She was very beautiful.” You decide to say, as the gates come into view.
“Was- What?” The handsome stranger lets his arm drop from your shoulders as he realizes where you’ve been heading. “Oh my god I’m so sorry.” He covers his mouth with his hands, eyes wide. It’s your turn to smile.
“It’s alright. It wasn’t a completely illogical assumption that I was bringing the flowers to my girlfriend.”
“I’m really sorry, wow I’m so dumb.” You shake your head and decide to take his hand, pulling him along.
“It’s always nicer with company, and you’ve come this far, so you might as well join me.” You smile at him once again, trying to let him know it’s really alright. His face stays somber, but at least he doesn’t look like a kicked puppy anymore.
You enter the cemetery and take in a deep breath. There are trees and plants growing everywhere, with paths criss-crossing between them. It’s always so incredibly peaceful here that your mind automatically quietens, worries and anxious thoughts fading into the background. You know your way, sure steps following a memorized route before you stand in front of a massive oak tree. You sit down on the soft grass below it, in front of a plaque, patting the ground beside you to let your companion know he can sit too. He hesitates, but sits down beside you, crossing his legs. You’re not quite sure if it’s the atmosphere or the guilty realization that’s keeping him quiet, but you find yourself missing his bright voice.
You shake your head, looking back at the plaque, placing your fresh bouquet before it and removing the dry stems from last week’s.
“Hey, Mom. I brought a friend today. I’ve kinda been stealing flowers from his garden for you, and he assumed it was for my sweetheart and insisted he would come along to make sure my date was ‘pretty enough to warrant flower theft’.” You laugh under your breath, then realize you never asked for his name.
“What’s your name?”
“I- I’m Hongbin.” He’s starting to look more relaxed. That’s what you love most about this place, the serene atmosphere. At the beginning of course you came more frequently, and cried more often than not. But it’s been a few years, so the pain has dulled, and a quiet kind of acceptance has settled in.
“Hongbin here has a very lovely garden. You would have approved. Though there are no sunflowers, but there are crocuses, irises, tulips, and those miniature roses you always loved. One corner of the garden is overgrown with wildflowers though, and I thought he wouldn’t miss them.” You turn to Hongbin with a sheepish expression.
“I am sorry about that.”
“I don’t mind. I was just curious, noticing you come and go a few times. And you’re always so careful with the flowers, so gentle. It was obvious you’d had a garden of your own at some point, or someone you loved had one.” Hongbin leans back on his hands and looks up at the leafy green canopy sheltering both of you from the outside world, if temporarily.
“She did have a garden. It went to seed though, after she died. I couldn’t bring myself to take care of it without her, and Dad never really had a green thumb. But lately I’ve been thinking of starting back up, though I’ve forgotten so much.” Hongbin turns to you with a smile.
“So, are you saying you need some help?”
“I guess I am. Are you offering?”
“I can be your resident gardening expert, and you can be my… my understudy.” You laugh at his choice of words, suddenly quite glad that you’d started picking flowers from that particular corner of that particular garden.
“As you say, professor.” He laughs along with you, safely tucked under the arms of the mighty tree you’ve come to think of as your mother’s incarnation. You’d never really brought anyone with you before, but this felt right, almost like she was giving you her approval. Thanks Mom.
~~~
A/N: so so so much cheese I’m sorry!! also, I always wish cemeteries had more plants!! my great-grandmother’s grave in Russia was surrounded by plants and growth and ‘messy’ cemeteries like that (I visited one in Poland too) always made me feel… I don’t know. the clean and empty cemeteries I’m used to in the US seem so impersonal? I don’t know, but I’d like to be buried in a pod underneath a tree. wouldn’t it be so much nicer to visit a tree than a gravestone?
He Meets Your Parents For The First Time and Gets Sick (Hongbin)
I have finally written Hongbin’s section! I’m so sorry it took so long to do. I hope you all like it!
Read the other’s here: N, Leo, Ken, Ravi.
“Ready?” you asked Hongbin.
“I guess as ready as I’ll ever be.” His eyes showed the nervousness he felt inside, but you knew as soon as you walked into your dad’s house, there would be no trace of it visible. He was good at doing that, especially for someone whose face was so easy to read normally. You had no idea how he did it, but you admired it. You knew the only other give away would be his shaky hands and as you walked up to your father’s front door, you put your hand into Hongbin’s coat pocket and entangled your fingers around his. You smiled at him when he immediately latched onto your hand like it was his life source. However, as you two reached the door, his face and eyes were as calm as ever.
Your father didn’t approve of your relationship with Hongbin. He had said many terrible things to you about how being a K-pop singer wasn’t a real career. You thought if he actually met Hongbin, it would change his mind. It took a lot of convincing on both ends to get this to happen, but, finally, here you were. You were probably just as nervous as Hongbin and to be honest, Hongbin’s hand squeezing yours was probably just as much a life source for you as it was for him. You wanted things to go well. You wanted you all to get along. You hoped it wasn’t a ridiculous dream to see your father accepting Hongbin or at least tolerating him. Maybe just this once, it wouldn’t be too much to ask for, because this time, you felt like he was the one, and to have your father disapprove of your husband one day would kill you.
You knocked on the door with a tentative hand. You looked at Hongbin and you simultaneously took a deep breath.
The door opened and you both turned to face your father, towering over you both, as the house was a large step above ground level. A glower immediately crossed his features. His eyes wandered to your hands in his coat pocket.
“This is him?” your dad asked.
“Yes. Dad, this is Hongbin, Hongbin, this is my dad.” Your dad just stared at him and then drifted his eyes over to you. The disapproving stare didn’t change looking at you.
“Hello, sir,” Hongbin said, bowing.
“He’s quite effeminate, no?” There was silence. You weren’t quite sure how to react to such a phrase. “Come in,” he finally said. You did as told, walking into the giant entry way of your father’s pretty well-to-do house. He was a well off business man and, even though he lived alone, enjoyed showing his money with a giant house.
Your father didn’t bother to stay with you in the entry and left down the hall that you presumed led to the main part of the house. You two stayed back to take off your coats and snow shoes.
“Well … “ you said.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
“Let’s just hope this isn’t any indicator of what’s to come.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He grabbed a hold of your hand once more and squeezed it to reassure you. You found it ironic how for the many weeks proceeding this meeting, your constantly had to reassure him over and over again that it was going to be okay, him nearly breaking into anxiety attacks over it, and now he was doing the same for you.
“You can never know with my dad.”
“Are you too coming or are you going to continue to talk about me behind my back?” You both stiffened.
“Coming,” you said as you wandered down the hall, still holding onto Hongbin’s hand. You found your dad in the kitchen immediately to the right of the hallway’s exit. He was taking out a lasagna from the bottom of a double oven.
“Wow, this is pretty extravagant,” you said, looking at all the side platters he had made aside from the fancy looking lasagna, which he was now placing down on the counter and transferring onto a serving platter.
“Yes, well, I figured I should be a good host to my child and their … friend, who doesn’t seem to know how to be a good guest. I think this would be the time in which you would ask if they needed help setting the table, or something along those lines, don’t you, Y/N?”
“I’m so sorry, sir,” he bowed. “If you could just point me to where the silverware is, I would gladly help set the table.”
“No, I want you helping me in the kitchen, Y/N, you set the table for me, the silverware is in that drawer over there.” He nodded his head to one behind him before turning back to Hongbin. “And you, never bow to me again. Your in America now, and I highly suggest learning our culture if you think your going to date an American, don’t you. I know for sure, Y/N is learning yours to the best if their ability. I have yet to see any of that from you. Show me that you appreciate Y/N’s background, show some respect. Got it?”
“Yes, sir. I sincerely apologize. It was not my intent to disgrace your culture.”
“Apologies mean nothing to me. Get the string beans off the stove for me and arrange them on that platter.” Hongbin did as he was told and you went to set the table. You could see into the kitchen from the table. You father had him washing vegetables now for something or other.
“Your hands are shaking. Have some confidence in yourself. Y/N, how do you ever expect this man to care for you if he can’t even keep his hands steady washing a carrot? Do you really think he’s capable of anything greater than showing his pretty face on a camera, pretending he can sing and dance-”
“Dad! That’s enough. Really. You said you want to be a good host? Maybe you could start by treating us with a little respect, okay? Leave him alone.” You slammed the last of the silverware on the table before walking back to the kitchen to put out on the table the finished dishes.
“You should be happy I even invited you into my house in the first place. Maybe you should be more polite guests.” He turned to Hongbin before you could counter his words. “Finish up the vegetables and come join us for dinner.” Your father took the rest of the dishes out to the table and sat down at the end of the table. You had sat down at the side facing the kitchen.
You could see Hongbin finishing up the vegetables and arranging them on a plate before taking it over to the table and sitting next to you.
“So your a K-pop idol? That’s what your called right?” Your father said after you had started putting food onto your plates.
“Yes, sir. That’s correct.”
“What is your group’s name?”
“VIXX, sir.”
“Vicks? Like the medicine?”
“Um, no. It’s spelled V-I-X-X, it stands for Voice Visual Value in Excelsis.”
“How does that come from VIXX exactly? I mean, there’s three V’s in the phrase, one in VIXX, and the same goes for the X’s. There’s only one in excelsis but two in VIXX. You do know that’s not how the Latin alphabet works, correct?”
“Dad, stop! It’s just a name, okay?”
“Fine, then let me ask you something else. Say you do end up marrying Y/N, how are you going to support them and any potential family you may have down the line when your group is no longer popular or your too old to continue?”
“If it ever does come to that, I have gone to and completed college. I could continue acting, or if something more stable is needed in terms of children, I could study to be a veterinarian, as was my plan as a kid.”
“You do realize that requires a lot of schooling. Many years of schooling. You would have to have started immediately after high school to ever make a stable income off that in time for children, I hope you realize that.
“Furthermore, I did some research into you. I do know what group you’re from, you have six members in total, formed in 2012, correct? Well, from what I can see, your group isn’t that popular. It is very likely you could lose popularity with too many unsold albums. Your last few comebacks didn’t harbor you many wins. A few more of those and your company will drop you. They have that girl group now, right? They can just fall back on them.
“And to say that “If it ever does come to that” in terms of ever ending your group … did you think you were going to do this for the rest of your life? Did you think you were going to be able to live off this forever? Your delusional. And, I saw your acting skills, they aren’t going to get you anywhere, at least not to the point of supporting a family, I promise you that. You are in your group as the visual, don’t pretend your important, okay? They could replace you in a second.
“In what way do you think you are proper for my child. You have no future planned, nothing set up for taking care of Y/N and your kids.”
He turned to you. “There is no way in hell I would let you date this man. He’s delusional! He thinks his career is going to get you two anywhere. It’s not, not like this. This man is incapable of taking care of yo-”
“I don’t need to be taken care of dad. And your wrong, I promise, you don’t need to be a doctor or lawyer to be successful. He could work as a pharmacist or a grocery store clerk for all I care, we are fine. We will be financially stable no matter his job, and you want to know something crazy, even if we aren’t, I still love him. I want to be with him okay? Not matter what our future holds, now, if you don’t mind, get off his ass. He has been nothing but polite to you, answering all your ridiculous questions and doing everything you ask of him. Also, he can bow to you whenever the fuck he wants. Maybe you need to be the one whose a little more cultured.” You shook your head in disgust as you took another bite of your food.
The rest of the meal was held in silence, which you hated. This was not bonding. Instead, it was just letting all of your father’s anger boil inside. At one point Hongbin grabbed you hand under the table and never let go. It broke your heart to know Hongbin was that nervous inside. You saw your father glaring at him, very rarely taking his eyes away from him.
Finally! Finally, dinner was over.
“I’ll help you clear the table,” Hongbin said, getting up and grabbing your and his plates. Your father followed him to the kitchen with his own handful of plates.
You stayed back to collect all the silverware and cups. This night was a disaster. Your expectations for your father to be nice had obviously been way too high. You wanted so much for them to get along, but your hopes of that seemed to have vanished.
Suddenly, you heard a sound of someone throwing up. You turned around and saw Hongbin bent over. You were horror struck to find your dad right in front of him, covered in the vomit. You immediately ran over.
Hongbin stopped throwing up before you got to him. He was standing frozen to his spot. His eyes were wide and you could tell he was about to cry from the dimple in his chin facing to the left. You immediately grabbed Hongbin and dragged him out before he could embarrass himself further or your father decided to open his mouth. As you dragged Hongbin he profusely started to apologize.
Soon, you were out the door and in the car. Hongbin sat there, hands covering his face.
“I’ve completely ruined everything,” he said.
“No, it’s okay. It’s okay. My dad, sucks. We both know that. He deserved it. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I love you so much, Hongbin and I’m sorry he did that to you.”
“I was so nervous … I had felt suck the whole time, but for some reason … it just all came up then. Everything was going through my head and it all was getting to be too much I guess.”
You comforted him for a bit before deciding it might be better to take him away from the house. You knew it was going to be a long time before Hongbin would get over this, if ever. You didn’t think your dad would ever like Hongbin, but at this point, what he did to him was completely unacceptable and you didn’t care anymore.
anon asked: Hi :) I would really love an expansion of the 'VIXX migraine' reaction for Hongbin. It was so emotional already I want my heart to be broken over him (does that sound weird?) Anyway, thanks in advance :)
A/N: Hi sweetie! Have a soft fluffy Bean. I hope you’ll like it. <3
This is an expansion of a reaction I wrote here.
~
At the moment life sucked. Your head felt like a hot iron bar was running from temple to temple. And you were beyond frustrated because tonight you had a date with your boyfriend whom you rarely got to see.
You tried your best to keep him from noticing. But Hongbin was sensitive to awkward atmospheres, soaking them up like a sponge and letting it affect his own mood. He’d started off so cheerful when he came to pick you up. Now he was pouting and pushing food around his plate.
“So what-”
“Hong-” Both of you started at the same time so you nodded for him to go first.
“Are you going to tell me what I did wrong?”
“What? Nothing.”
“You’re acting weird. I said I was sorry for having to cancel next weekend. It’s not fair for you to hold a grudge for something I can’t help.”
“No,” automatically you started to shake your head but wound up waving your hands instead. “It’s another stupid migraine. This weather going up and down is killing me.”
“Oh.” His eyes shifted from his plate to your face, really studying you for the first time that night since he tended to avoid eye contact when there was tension. What he saw made him frown. “So this is taking care of yourself. I guess I’ve been doing it wrong.”
His implication was clear: you were being a hypocrite since you were constantly after him to eat and rest with his crazy schedule. Irritated you reminded him exactly why you were currently sitting there with your brain about to leak out of your ears. “Excuse me for wanting to see my boyfriend since I couldn’t this weekend.”
He sighed and backed off. “I’m sorry. I just feel guilty you made yourself come out because of my schedule.”
“It’s not your fault. I knew what I was getting into dating an idol. It’s just really crappy timing and I didn’t want to cancel. I’ve missed you.”
Unfortunately the pain only increased while he was taking you home. Once you got inside you were overwhelmed. Lights and sounds were too much and made you nauseous. Standing in your living area you held your hands over your eyes.
“Hey.” There was a light touch to your shoulder. Hongbin took hold of both your wrists, gently pulling them down to see your expression.
Feeling pathetic and needy, the words spilled out without much thought. “It hurts, Bean.”
His face scrunched in sympathy as he pulled you into himself. He stood there for a few moments massaging the back of your neck. It made you melt into him. Wrapping an arm around you he led you along to your bedroom. After easing you down onto your bed he went around closing curtains. Turning back towards you it seemed as if he was getting ready to leave.
“Please stay,” you whispered.
“You need to sleep.”
“I need you more.”
This wavered his resolve and he climbed into bed next to you. You hid your face in his shoulder and it felt like the whole world had gone away. Your boyfriend was like the softest, most comfortable sweater ever. He began to run his hands in circles down your back and massage the base of your skull. That small amount of comfort felt deliciously good and you let go of a deep moan. “Thank you.”
“Of course. Anything you need.” He paused and you could hear the teasing in his tone. “But you might want to stop making sounds like that.”
“Hmm, can’t help it. You’re my favorite painkiller.”
Hongbin found that incredibly cheesy and cringed. When you whined he apologized and placed a kiss on your temple.
“You are though, Hongbin. I know it embarrasses you when I say those things but you’re so good at making me feel better."
“Ah, seriously.” He snuggled in with you, holding you tighter. Even if he acted like he didn’t want to hear those things, the way he was practically purring told you differently. He was happy. Very happy. For all that his tongue could be sharp, his heart was more than tender. The things he wanted most were simple. Hongbin only wanted to take care of those he loved and to feel needed.
