Update
I'm alive!
TW// MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND GROOMING
And I was also a minor on this site lmao.
I want to start this off by saying I'm clearing the air for myself, to be honest. I'm not mentioning anyone or saying names or @ s but there are a lot of predators on this site.
When I first started reading smut I was in 8th grade. I was an A student in literature and was like you know what, I'm gonna try this. Made a reactions post and boom blew up. I loved the attention and I loved making people feel connected through my writing.
I struggled with mental health issues and finding a community that helped me deal with that was great. I was also 14 so I was extremely impressionable. And before you get pissed that I was a child on this site, I was coping with unresolved trauma from assault and it made me hypersexual. Projecting that helped.
I made friends, as you do, and some of those friends who were adults didn't have my best interest in mind but rather theirs. I was manipulated into writing hardcore BDSM smut for adults when I was 14/15. I was groomed and pressured into these sexual fantasies and being a scapegoat for people to carry them out.
It was terrible.
I was ashamed, disgusted, unsure, and didn't know what to do. I couldn't talk to any of my friends about it. I felt trapped and alone. It got to the point where it took up my whole life and I was carrying out these fantasies for people while neglecting important years of my schooling.
Around my 16th birthday, I left. I couldn't cope with it anymore and I cut everyone out of my life completely. I feel bad about this because I had two mutuals who genuinely were the best people I could have ever asked for to walk into my life. A Baekhyun and a Chanyeol stan so what do I expect lmao.
That being said, I was open about my age to mutuals I trusted and they accepted it. A lot of them were good and honestly never really discussed anything of smut agenda or if they did it was fleeting and lighthearted. They were good people, and they did nothing wrong. There was only one, in particular, that was bad and put me through a lot of mental and emotional trauma and abuse. I believe that a lot of my mutuals are good people and that they were not trying to be predators, like I said, it was mainly one.
Anyways that's what happened and that's why I left and that's why I'm never coming back. I'm almost 18 and I have my life on track. I'm going to become a Marine Biologist and I have my whole degree and life set up. I've recovered and am receiving psychiatric help.
Please if you are a minor, adults should not be your friend and you should not do ANYTHING you are uncomfortable with. Don't bend your boundaries for ANYONE. You deserve to be okay.
Thank you,
Suhoerections aka Izzy















