Erupting vehement, from ultanasana, hands to heart, flushed, moving as one pulsing mass of rhythmic energy I realize this is what religion feels like. The electric connection to the room, breathing as one, an om that separates the distance from she to me, them to us, zipping up air molecules as, with a lover, you become engrossed in the moment, alive, filling with the same air “mashigo…. neshigo.” Moving in unison from one pose to the next, down dogeru, chatteranga, up dog, until arms shaking, you forget to think about what the Korean word for foot is, if anyone can smell the garlic I hate for lunch, or if my student will ever forgive me after forgetting to sing happy birthday…balancing on one foot, pulling the other out strait, holding fast to a sweat slipping big toe, eyes fixated on the mat ahead, breathe, deeper, below the gut, deep, through the nose, feeling bowels, straining while breathing into unsteady wavering, “neshiGO.” untrenching the calm, with pulling fingers, a subconscious center, the calm so still, it allows the body to take pause, muscles sure of actions, filling in like sleep walking. The regal beast of an instructor, a level headed, elegant machine, swooping strong into poses, pushing us from one to the next, seemingly impossible for the average American class, generations of various sizes pull legs easily into lotus, soles of feet up, arms behind the back, in reverse prayer, we fold on the out breath, forehead to ground, back strait, hands praying with pinkies pressed parallel to spines, because she says so, because with one breath another pose follows, a packed class breathing, folding, pressing, focused on our own spinal elongation, twisting, alignment, and expansion, we cannot but push our bodies to the furthest extent they will go. The air smells like Bolivia, an incense, ylang ylang, smooth wooden floors reflected in mirrors down one side, fogged windows laced with defenbachia’s and charcoal displays down the other. Conspicuous as the only foreigner, I am reluctant to share my classes, making excuses of expense or inconvenience when pressed for details. Not so much selfish, as wary. Some of the most challenging poses I have accomplished have been in this class, twisting arms behind backs to grab opposite feet, while standing… a culmination of bikram, pilates, healing and small group class experience. Feeling like the special envoy to western women and our cumbersome, larger bodies, I felt the need to prove myself, to push myself farther, to give 100 percent until sweat pours into my eyes, down my nostrils as poses reverse. After 4 months I have become a sort of regular, sharing short pleasantries, recognized for fitting in, despite the language barrier, keeping up, in time, in breath, body anticipating the next asana, pulling my hamstrings to their burning limit, to achieve interconnectedness. Like a flaming gay man on a football team, I am slowly proving myself; that I don’t need extra help or attention, that as a class, as humans, we are all after that elusive peace, that acceptance of our bodies and wrangling of the unruly mind. But, also, that a foreigner can keep up with lithe Asian frames, can excel, and maybe burn away some North American stereotypes. After shavasana, and our last unblinking om, we bow to our neighbors and share Namaste, hair bedraggled and polite. Tonight, linking eyes and grins with the woman next to me, who, throughout the class we were in unison, through plank to down dog to the various warriors, boat, side prayers, with utmost concentration we shared an intangible triumph, conquesting spiritual warriors, without consciousness, without pride, striving, perhaps ironically, but honestly.