How Dat Make You Feel ?!
On this journey to finding self I’ve been taking to social media to get out some of my thoughts and feeling that I cant compute with a pen and pad in the form of snap chat “rants” and floaty sub-tweets. In the moment these sudden releases felt so good but I quickly realized that this gorilla style transparency did nothing for my personal brand so I killed that experiment real quick !
However, standing back and looking at myself as I replayed my “Crown Confessionals” I realized that I give certain people more notably the men in my life too much power over my mood. Though my pride wont let me admit it, I truly measure my happiness off of the people in my life. Some of the people with the most power have done nothing to earn such but my expectations of them tend to let them pass through certain gates that I would normally keep guarded when it comes to my feelings.
In a lot of cases I let people get to close to soon leaving me vulnerable to pains that could have been avoided had I exercised more caution. I cling to people I’m scared of loosing holding them to expectations that were never confirmed. Out of fear and pride I convince myself that some of these relationships were worth the pain and shuffle of existing in undefined grey areas but It was only a disservice to myself.
I failed to realize that some people are truly meant to be in your life for a season and when you try to fight the change your the only one left out there alone trying to figure out why your wearing snow boots in July. Not to say all seasonal relationships (friend or otherwise) have to come to an abrupt end but when you don’t go with the wave you have no choice but to drown.
The key to letting go is truly letting go with no expectations. Embracing what you learned, holding on to the memories you’ve shaped and moving forward into your next journey. I realized that people will forever control my feelings as long as I held onto expectation. I had to learn to just live in the moment.
No one is perfect and some people will let you down but it will never be the end of the world. Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to but life goes on.
crownlessly yourz,
-Mia J