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Forbidden Secret Desire 2

Summary: He tries so hard to take you out of your comfort space, and you try so hard to co-operate. Only forgetting a majority of the day as the time ticks by. But when you finally get to bed, you immediately relax. Now the only thing that annoys you is this weird sound.

(Find What I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Parings: Logan Howlett x Reader

Warnings: (Individual warnings per chapter) Manipulation, anxiety, social dissociation, hidden cameras, a lot of awkwardness. THIS is going to be a dark one. If you are not into non-con fics, then I suggest you don’t get too attached. There will be VERY detailed descriptions in the near future.

Word Count: 3285 (Find all chapters here) Chapter 3

Tags: @remmyj10 @sammyluvsfics

P.S. If you’d like to be tagged, ask in the comments, you also have permission to send an ask, but make sure it is NOT anonymous, so I know your username, don’t worry, I’m scared of confrontation too. But this is a SAFE SPACE where I will not judge. Thank you again.

“Guys, meet Y/N.”

You hated it already. I was forcing you to meet people, and everyone he introduced you to gave you the side eye. Some didn’t even say hi. Except Kurt.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” Kurt was the first one to step away from the small group of kids, then he outstretched his arms to hug you, causing you to have to uncross your arms and embrace it. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yea, I’ve been busy.” You tell him quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear you.

“Well these are my other friends.” He nods towards the small group of people. “Storm, Jane, Havok, and Cyclops.” They awkwardly wave towards you, but the one named “Havok” smirks down at you. Charming. You roll your eyes a little.

“You don’t have to call me Havok, Alex works too.” He tells you, reaching his hand out and letting you shake it.

“We’re going to the mall later, would you like to come with us?” Kurt asks you, but instead of answering, you turn your head to look towards Logan.

“Her and I have plans, maybe another day. I was gonna show her around, she hasn’t really gotten to go anywhere so I figured I’d take her out.” He reaches his hand up, and gently places his palm on your shoulder.

“Oh okay, maybe another time then.” Kurt sounded disappointed, but you paid no mind to it. You could finally go out in public without being stared at or hated.

“Well, it’s nice seeing you youngins, but she and I are gonna get going.” Logan looks back down at you and you smile softly, still feeling awkward.

After saying some goodbyes and exchanging a few more words, the two of you finally turned around to leave and then you weren’t so sure you’d be able to socially enjoy yourself outside the mansion anyways. But Logan seemed excited, and you didn’t want to ruin that.

Now he was standing outside of your room, waiting for you to get ready for the day. You weren’t exactly sure what style was popular, you had been stuck in the mansion for over two years now after all, so you just threw on whatever you felt would be acceptable for going to the mall.

Just a simple grey sweater and your favourite black short skirt, then you threw your hair up into a messy bun before shoving your phone in your pocket. You don’t have a pocket though. You bite your lip with some frustration as you realise your skirt didn’t have a pocket. “Damnit.” You mumble. You didn’t have a purse either since you never expected to leave the mansion anytime soon. You can do without your phone for the day. You tell yourself, opening a drawer and stuffing your phone inside before closing it and checking yourself in the mirror.

“All ready?” You nod, then begin walking down the hall with him to the entrance of the mansion. “We're just gonna go out shopping a little then we’ll get some snacks and come back, shouldn’t take too long.” He tells you.

“Uh, okay.” You twiddle your thumbs in front of you nervously. “Sounds good.” You chuckle awkwardly, then follow him to one of the cars in the parking lot.

It was a rusted old ford pickup truck. You honestly hadn’t expected anything more from him, you definitely didn’t expect some Honda Civic or more clean and collected car. HillBilly it is.

He uses his key to open the driver's door and as you pull on the handle to the passenger side it doesn’t open and your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Then he reaches for the door from the driver's side and unlocks it for you before you step in and sit down. The seat was hot from the truck sitting in the sun all day. “What kind of music do you like?” He asks you, turning on the engine. “Or do you prefer the quiet?”

This literally couldn’t feel any more awkward for you as you felt your chest tighten up, like you were already doing something wrong. “Nothing really in specific.” You tell him, and he turns a radio dial on the dash until some country music starts playing. Fuck this is so awkward.

The ride was awkward. There were maybe a total of ten words spoken. There was so much traffic. And one of the roads was closed, adding about an extra twenty minutes of awkward silence. It literally could not get any worse. You tell yourself as he finally pulls into the parking lot at the mall, somehow managing to find a spot near the front, surprising you considering how damned busy it was just on the sidewalks.

You both stepped out of his truck, and you immediately went to his side, staying by him like a child who’s reliant on their dad to keep them safe. You see him smile out of the corner of your eye before he hangs his arm around the back of your neck, leading you to the front of the mall. You figured it couldn’t be THAT bad, right? Oh my fucking God why are there so many people holy shit bring me home. Was the very first thought that ran rampant in your mind. The moment the automatic doors opened they welcomed you into a living and breathing hot and sweaty circus of hell.

There were people who didn’t bother you so much, they were just walking with a few bags in their hands and minding their own business. Then there were families which honestly only raised the body heat in the building as they ran around trying to catch up to their sons and daughters. But the most annoying of all were the little stands in the middle of the mall and next to the escalators that were blasting music as they sold little simple things like fidget spinners or Mario plushies that looked like they had been through war.

It was only when someone got in your face with a coupon that you finally broke and stopped, then stared up at Logan. “I don’t like it, I wanna-”

“It’s a lot busier than usual.” He tells you, shoving his hands in his pockets. He knew you wanted to leave, and that it was a lot. But he was determined to walk you through the mall. “So what store should we go into first? Maybe we can get you something? Do you like jewellery? Or a purse maybe?” He throws some ideas at you, attempting to distract you from your inner turmoil.

And of course, it works.

“Uh yea, sure. I mean, I don’t really know any stores, I honestly wouldn't know where to go.”

“Okay, well let's start with something simple, there's a clothing store just down there.” He tells you, nodding his head past you, in the previous direction you were walking in.

“Okay…” You whisper, then step back to his side as you two continue your walk down to the store he was talking about. You hated it, but he was trying so hard to make you feel included.

“Excuse me ma’am, would you like a free sample?” A man asked you, holding a large silver pizza plate in front of you just as you had begun your walk. “It’s sweet, and everyone does say you are what you eat!” He says excitedly and you can’t help but think he sounds like a clown from a movie.

“Uh, no-”

“What is it?” Logan steps forward, letting go of your hand which you hadn’t even realised he was holding, to grab two of the little cups, handing you one.

“They’re cinnamon rolls. Just like the normal ones, but they’re mini.” He tells you both. Watching as Logan takes a bite out of his, and you hesitate at first but then take a small bite out of yours.

“Good?” Logan asks you, and he stares as you use your tongue to lick some of the icing off of your lip. He seemed hypnotised before you nodded your head to answer his question.

“If you’d like to buy the bigger version, you can get two for $7 if you go to Jackie's Pastries on the second floor.” The other man tells you, then swiftly walks away to a family, offering each of them a sample and he laughs as a younger child takes three.

“Wanna get some? They’re good?” He grabs your hand gently again, but you notice this time, of course, you don’t say anything about it.

“Sure, they taste good.”

“Good, I’ll lead the way.” He tells you before taking small steps to match your speed and he makes his way to an escalator. God did you hate escalators and elevators.

“Are there no normal stairs?” You ask him nervously.

“No, they’re becoming more modern as we speak.” He tells you before stepping onto the next stair that comes out of the track, and you make an anxious and quick step forward with him, putting you both on the same stair, causing you to sort of mush against his side as his hand gently squeezes yours a little tighter. You clench your jaw in embarrassment, you’ve never felt more exposed and awkward in your life.

“So what would you like?” He asks you, as you both wait in line, by the time you were behind the last five people, you had unconsciously held his right hand with both of your hands, but you still hadn’t even noticed it. “Just the cinnamon rolls, or something else?”

“Uh…” You take a deep breath in, and look up at the sign above the workers as one of the people ahead of you order icecream and waffle cones, drizzled with chocolate syrup. “Yea, I think?”

“You think?” He chuckles a little, looking down at his hand wrapped in both of yours as you unconsciously pick at his skin. Another thing you would feel ashamed of if you noticed. “How about we get you a cinnamon joy bowl.” He tells you. “It’s got cookie dough ice cream, a cinnamon bun on top, and 3 french toast sticks on the side all drizzled with vanilla icing.” He tells you. Sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen.

“Sure.” End me faster you delicious snack. You both step forward as you’re next in line.

“Anything to drink?” You shrug. “How about just some water.” You nod, and he sighs a little, then the people ahead of you finish ordering as well, leaving you both in line now. “Hey, can we get a cinnamon bowl with two scoops of icecream and then water? Thank you.” He tells the cashier up front, then he pays and you both step away, letting the person behind you order next as you both stand waiting for his name to be called, and you continue to unconsciously pick at his hand with your thumb.

“So after this, we can stop by a toy store I think you’ll love?”

“Uh, okay.”

“Are you still nervous?”

“What? What makes you think I’m nervous?” You chuckle, and he looks down at your hands. “Oh, oh I’m so sorry…” You apologise quickly as you move your hands and see the little red spot you’ve created on the back of his hand. “I didn’t even realise I was-”

“It’s okay, bub.” He laughs lightly, then swings his arm around you again and pulls you in close to his side. “I’ve had much worse.” He jokes, making you laugh a little. Why would you laugh at that? He’s literally been shot!

“Logan?” A voice says, bringing your attention to the worker behind the counter holding the bowl of sweets, and Logan drops his arm to hold your hand again and pulls you with him to retrieve it.

“Thank you ma’am.” Then he takes you away from the counter, constantly leading you around, knowing you’d stand like a sitting duck if he wasn’t by your side this entire time.

“Try it. Any good?” He asks you, walking over to a metal table with two seats, dragging a chair back for you to sit in.

“Thank you. Yes, it’s good.” You tell him, sitting down and placing the little bowl on the table in the middle, handing him the second spoon and watching him as he takes the plastic off of his spoon.

You both relaxed for about thirty minutes, just shoving your mouth with sweets. You don’t even notice how he takes small bites, letting you take the bigger bites to make sure you eat at least some of it. And you eat a lot of it, not even noticing how he lets you have the majority. He knew it would for sure brighten your mood to have some food and sweets in your body.

As soon as you were both done,he stood up and threw the empty bowl in the trash. Ugh… This is so awkward. You keep telling yourself it’ll get better, but of course, it doesn’t.

The entire trip to the mall, from getting into his truck to leaving the mall in the late afternoon was nothing but awkward for you. Your anxiety got the best of you, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe at times. The only time you actually were excited was when he took you to a little shop called “Build a Bear.”

It was stressful. To the point where you wouldn’t be able to recollect the memories even if you wanted to. As you both returned to the truck, you finally started coming back to your head. With your arms crossed you watched as he put a few bags worth of items on the back seats. There had been a few conversations on the way back, which you had brainlessly answered, not a single actual thought had been on your mind, you were just so emotionally exhausted and your brain only registered a few moments. But the last conversation to end the trip was the most conversation you think you’d had.

“You like that bear huh?” He chuckles a little as he puts the truck in park and looks down at your lap, the little brown build a bear wearing a tutu sitting on your legs.

“Yea…” You say quietly, then look up at him.

“You okay, bub?” He asks, reaching over and resting his hand on the seat behind your head.

“Yea, why?”

“You seem… I don’t know…”

“Sorry… I’m just really tired… We were out for a while.” You say nervously, leaning back in your seat and playing with the little bear by moving his hands a little.

“It’s alright.” He smiles softly, then gently pushes some of your hair behind your ear that had fallen in your face from looking down. “Lets get inside, it’s getting dark out.” He grunts a little as he gets out of the truck and you get out a moment after.

He walks you to your room and sets the bags down for you. “Thank you.” You mumble.

“Of course.” He looks back down at you, still holding the bear in your hands as you stared mindlessly at the floor where the bags were. “Well, I hope you sleep well tonight. Sorry if I put too much on you.”

“Oh, no. You didn’t put too much on me, I had fun. Plus I needed to get out.” You laugh a little and he smiles, something you realised he does only when you’re smiling or laughing.

“Good, good. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, in class. I’m substituting for Xavier so you’ll have two classes with me.” He sighs a little.

“Oh, okay. Then yea, see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, bub.” He hugs you from the side, and you only lean into the hug, then he starts walking to your door to leave your room, but stops with his hand on the doorknob. “Oh, one more thing, can I ask you something?” He turns around, his hand falling from the knob.

“Uh yea, of course what’s up?”

“Do you have any zip ties?” He tilts his head a little in question. “I know that’s a weird question, I was just curious.” He adds.

“Uh yea, they’re in my closet somewhere, hold on.” You tell him, placing you bear on your bed for a moment to walk into your closet.

You checked some shelves and drawers, not finding anything. But you knew you had some in your closet. Where did I put you..? You ask yourself, then your hand comes across a bag of long green zip ties, you remember you had used them for some projects since they were easier to notice than plain white or black ties.

“Does it matter what… colour they are?” You ask him, stepping out of your closet and closing the closet door slowly as you see him holding your bear. “I uh, have these green ones but that’s it.” You tell him, and he sets your bear up on your desk, facing the room.

“Nah, colour doesn't matter. I should only need like six though.” He says, noticing you were holding a bag of about thirty ties.

“Oh okay here.” You count as you take them out of the bag, only six, and then hand them to him. “What do you need them for?” You laugh a little, what could he possibly need zip ties for?

“Oh well I have my own home away from the mansion, I just needed something to be tied up.” He tells you nonchalantly. “Anyways, thank you darlin’, I appreciate it. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” You smiled softly up at him, his eyes looked almost black as he stared down at you.

“See you tomorrow.”

Then he leaves, closing the door behind him which you promptly lock so nothing else can bother you for the rest of the day, while you were going to be sleeping. Taking one look at the bags of items he purchased for you, you quickly decided you would deal with it tomorrow.

You reached behind you and took the back of your shirt in your hands before pulling it over your head, then removed your little skirt and discarded both clothes items in your little basket of dirty laundry. Then you reach behind you to unclasp your bra, which you threw on top of your sweater and skirt before walking over to your desk, reaching for one of the washed tank tops in your clean laundry pile just sitting on your chair, but a quiet clicking sound catches your attention. You look up, and see nothing, so you assume your neighbours are doing something, then you begin to put your top on, reaching up to get it on, and you hear another click. What is that stupid sound? You wonder, looking over at your desk. Then you realise it’s probably your phone, which you just remember you had shoved into your desk before leaving this morning. So you stop freaking out, and take the phone out, immediately going to silence it, but it was already silenced. You assume it was just a glitch, then turn all of your lights out and finally crawl under the covers of your bed.

“What a long day.” A long sigh comes from your lips as you lie your head back on the pillow, then you remember your bear was still sitting on your desk. You immediately push past the thought of getting up to bring it to bed with you, you were too damned tired, so you just block out everything, your room completely silent as you stare at the ceiling. A faint whirring sound coming from across the room, and your bear staring at you while you sleep…

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