#hp joke

[sugarywinterroses]

Fred: Why did the chicken cross the road?

McGonagall: Why?

Fred: To get to the idiot's house

Fred: KNock KNock

McGonagall: Who's there?

Fred: The chicken

McGonagall:

Fred:

McGonagall: I won't punish you, BUT on one condition..

Fred: What?

McGonagall: Go tell that joke to snape

[itsyetanotherpotterhead]

Tell the worst Harry Potter related joke you know

I want to annoy my friend

[ellyisaslygirl]

Do you think any trouble makers learned a lot from Peeves and when they do something like Peeves like they're,"Omg I've been Peeved."

And someone victim is like,"You left me peeved."

Peeves has sex with another ghost or something???

And he's like,"Youve been peeved hahaha."

....i havent slept.

[great-teller-of-tales]

The most Slytherin thing I’ve ever done in my entire life was lying on the floor pressing ice to my concussed head and saying “Slytherin is the cool house” as I put my glasses back on my face.

[sunscreenbear]

[josy57]

🍞🍞🍞🦄

Eventhough unicorn blood is supposed to have regenerating properties, I’d rather stick to bread, anon.

[ofmermaidsandmarauders]

james felt a whisper of wind rush through his hair. it urged him to move forward even though he had no real reason to be in the forbidden forest. all he was going on was an inkling. this niggling feeling in his chest that told him something was wrong.

“don’t panic. don’t panic. don’t panic.” the words were a mantra he kept repeating as he tried to keep his heart from bursting through his chest. after some haphazard attempts at searching, he sent a patronus with the purpose of lighting the way. sure enough, it led a trail through the trees which james dutifully followed. 

at the sight of red hair sprawled against the dark ground, his heart fell into his stomach. he cast a quick lumos to light up the area so that he could assess the damage. he hated more than anything that he had skipped the healing charms class to sleep. 

“damn full moon.” he muttered as his eyes trailed over her body. he saw no blood, and her chest was still rising and falling, but that didn’t still his beating heart. james racked his brain for what to do before settling on another patronus. this one carried a message to mcgonagall to get madame pomfrey and prepare for healing. he lifted lily’s limp body and held her close to his chest. her body hummed with magic and he knew just who was involved in this attack. it certainly wasn’t the first dark magic attack, but it was the first against her. she had managed to fight off the boys once before on rounds, but this time she didn’t appear successful. all he hoped for was that she would be alright. 

“please, lily. please.” james’ pleading was desperate as he began the trek to the castle, hoping that his words were enough.

[fangirl81601]

Sometimes puberty is good...sometimes it isn't