Thoughts On The Magic!Anon, Or, Human!Ollie's Having The Dysmorphia To End All Dysmorphia
I've talked about pieces of this already but! A full loredrop was long overdue on why exactly Proto 2 is hating this so much <3
Firstly the voice. I think that the shifting voice is largely an involuntary feature of his voicebox, significantly played up for The Drama, but Ollie's not having a good time being stuck with one voice. It's shot down a lot of the intimidation factor that they pride themselves on - also probably part of why her speech pattern has changed. She just does not like the sound of her own voice anymore.
And. AND. I think on top of that, spider boygirl's been hit with the freight train of gender dysphoria and doesn't really know how to process it. I don't think Ollie's ever really experienced it in any kind of identifiable way? He's been in a toy body since he was 10 that can replicate any voice he wishes, and now. Yeah. Stuck with the Ollie voice, and an older Ollie voice to boot, is not a great time. Vocal dysphoria is one of the biggest issues for her right now; they're attributing it to just general discomfort with the human body but being stuck with a masc voice permanently is really agitating him.
As always please do go and explain this to them if y'all want because they sure won't clock it on their own. Oblivious 80's kid is oblivious.
SO MANY SCARS. Oliver didn't really have much skin left to show it before but now they do and they can't get away from the reminders of all that torture. He's going to be keeping his sleeves pulled alllll the way down.
I've decided that his birth family on their mother's side is just one of those families (like mine) where the other side's genetics don't even try. Ollie is pretty much a duplicate of his mother, but AMAB and slightly taller (and with more scars)- seeing his own face is currently a recipe for so many bad memories.
He is also a duplicate of his grandmother (formerly his favourite person) but that one's just bitter because he hasn't seen her since he was about eight, and the reminder hurts. Ollie will be avoiding all reflective surfaces until he transforms back.
Too Many Bones. Too many muscles. Cannot do a full 360 with his head or contort her back like she used to be able to and she is Royally Pissed.
As I've established, also really struggling with walking. A lot of their balance/centre of gravity is completely thrown off, as well as having to relearn a bipedal walking rhythm. She's so used to the spider legs and not having that all of a sudden is such a harsh learning curve.
So yeahhhh. Not a good time, all in all. She likes the look of the hair if not the feel, very much likes getting to glare at people with the more flexible facial expression but those are about the only benefits for her. And they absolutely do not outweigh the cons. If anything this has made him more convinced that humanity fuckin' sucks.
I am going to draw this bastard soon, I swear, I haven't forgotten