Apr 21
Third base is when I lift up my shirt and let you see the gaping sucking chest wound that’s a black hole of want and need and desire and emptiness that will never ever be filled or satisfied 🥰
seen from Yemen
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Belgium
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from Australia
seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from Finland
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Poland
seen from Spain
seen from Singapore
seen from Russia
seen from Ukraine
seen from Colombia
seen from United States
Third base is when I lift up my shirt and let you see the gaping sucking chest wound that’s a black hole of want and need and desire and emptiness that will never ever be filled or satisfied 🥰
why do people kiss your neck? is it the pulse? the affect you have on the other? is it the control? are you simply following what others do? is it the fact you can bite and it’ll hurt but they’ll let you? and you can soothe them afterwards, and they’ll still love you? i have so many questions about human intimacy and no one to answer them with me
thinking about the hedgehog's dilemma — a situation in which a group of hedgehogs want to move closer to each other to share heat during cold weather, however, they must remain apart for they can't avoid hurting one another with their sharp quills
“So, you were running away. And you rejected the others around you, so there was no chance that you would ever be hurt.“
“And you were terrified by the invisible bonds that people form.“
“You were afraid and so you closed off your heart.“
~Thoughts: Intimacy & Being~
I think what I craved most was human intimacy. Some form of contact--love, mutual interest, physical contact, something, anything--so in order to not feel any less of a person. And whether that crave is a want or need I do not know. But I figure that at least possessing some form of it would help me feel more adequate and confident with my own being.
I could go for a nice love confession rn
The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that // Cheryl Strayed.
recalling how i spent valentine’s day last year: gathered with my housemates to project this movie onto the wall of the upstairs common area of our housing co-op. when it ended, i felt empty just as i felt the first time i saw it, only slightly less so. it rendered so many feelings and questions, and my feelings were legitimized by my certainty. i was certain that everything in the film was real, in that it simulated experiences not dissimilar to those of so many people. and that makes it REAL. real enough. it deserves to be lauded for exactly what it is: a kind of film that doesn’t coddle its viewers. instead of obscuring the most terrible aspect of human intimacy, it magnifies and prolongs it. because the most terrible aspect of intimacy and romantic relationships is not the ending. it is not the sex or openness that once was but is no longer. and it certainly isn’t the act of breaking up itself, however difficult. no, the worst part isn’t so concrete. it’s the slow-burn that begins without being detected somewhere between the beginning and end point, and the excruciating succession of cues we willfully deny. the disintegration of something that is *not unsalvageable*, but becomes broken beyond repair after looking the other way for just enough time to ensure you are far too exhausted to try saving it now. erosion. and worse, the speed at which all of this occurs. like a goddamn glacier.
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in other news, this was a good scene / the ukulele is nice.