Golden Retreiver!Paul and Chocolate Lab!Dino with Handler!Reader who spends his days desperately trying to get them to spend enough energy to go to bed. And playing. A lot of playing
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being a hybrid handler for a golden retriever and a chocolate lab hybrids is not for the weak
especially with this specific pairing of golden + lab
they have so much energy
genuinely it takes you all day and several hours of play to get them to be even vaguely settled
you also need to give them so many puzzles to try to tire out their brains
they don't have to be complicated/difficult puzzles because they will get distracted and trip over each other trying to finish theirs the fastest
fetch, tug of war, hide and seek, tag ...
everything
anything you can do to get them run around a lot
burn off some of the massive amounts of energy they seem to just always have
(you also have to try get them to stop eating their food so quickly)
(good luck)
they have so much energy and so little self-control
dino is also a massive trouble maker
he's so much more likely to play with something he knows he's not supposed to or playing when he has other responsibilities
paul really tries to be a good boy but he's too susceptible to dino's antics
honestly the best way to get them to burn off energy so they (and you) have a chance of sleeping is to pay attention to another dog (hybrid or not)
they have exactly two reactions to this:
one, they get way overexcited and go run and jump and play until they're basically falling asleep on you before you can even get home
two, they get very very jealous and all of their energy goes into getting you to stop playing with the other dog/hybrid and then they just wanna cuddle you
Yuki. Liam. Whatever hybrids you think they are, they'd be so stressed with the switch
Yuki wants to ask you for help calming down his nerves, but he knows Liam is probably heartbroken in your motorhome.
Meanwhile Liam wants you to comfort him, but he knows Yuki is probably stressing in your motorhome.
And you're just waiting in the motorhome with all of their care supplies, wondering why they aren't there
It takes a confused message to Max, and Max realizing that Liam and Yuki are just nervous idiots for him to drag them into your motorhome, and become determined to help you care for them. Who else will care for his two idiot teammates? Certainly not Red Bull
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red panda!yuki + border collie!liam bc i say so and I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT WOOOO!! (also thank you to @milessunflowers for tiger shark!isack. amazing)
when you heard about the switch at red bull, you immediately start gathering everything you need for yuki and liam
and probably a bit for tiger shark!isack when he inevitably comes to you to pout about losing his fellow short king teammate
but anyway
you get everything ready for them—their favourite snacks, brushes for their fur, and definitely some tug toys and puzzle toys for liam because if you don't make him use his brain (a lot) he will get all zippy and tense
but then ... then neither of them show up?
isack does, and you let him complain a bit before distracting him from it by sitting him in front of a video of an aquarium for a bit and then he's fine again
about two hours after you expected them to come to your motorhome, you text max and ask if there's some sort of red bull/racing bulls meeting that has both of them occupied
and max just sighs
because he knows they're both probably tucked away and overthinking
he finds liam first and just grabs him by the collar of his shirt
then he goes to alpine because if he knows yuki, he's probably gone to pierre
sure enough, yuki is pouting in pierre's driver's room
max collects him too and drags both of them to your motorhome
when he gets there he just shoves them inside, nods at you, and leaves
his job is just to herd stubborn/scared drivers to you and he's a-okay with that
you finally get to sit down with yuki and liam
both of them are so tense because they're so scared of making the other feel bad/worse and they really don't know what to say
so you have to start
"obviously this isn't an ideal situation for either of you-"
and yuki cuts you off to say he's fine and you should just be helping liam because he got the worse end of the stick
and liam is just like "???"
the two of them end up in furious agreement that actually red bull kinda sucks
you do have to kinda coax them into realizing that the other isn't mad at them
it takes a while
they are stubborn
very much so
but you get there (eventually)
by the end of the night they're just cuddled up together while you brush their fur and liam is mentally tired enough to sit still for once
Expanding on the hybrid handler reader (I've always loved thos concept from when @safetycar-restart put it in my head a year ago) so maybe reader starts out as one of the older drivers handlers, like lewis (panther?) And reader ends up also acting as the handler to all of lewis' teammates over the years, so nico, valtteri, and George all start semi-regularly coming to lewis' motor home for you to take care of them (preening for bird hybrids, getting pets, grooming, etc.)(I think valtteri is a bird hybrid)(that man rizzed Tiffany up by doing a mating dance) anyway, Toto gets kinda tired of it, and organizes for you to have your own motor home so all his former drivers aren't barging in all the time, and maybe this happens about early 2022, and it spreads around the Grid like Wildfire. Valtteri is bringing Zhou, George is bringing Lando and Alex, who are then bringing Max and Daniel and on and on, and eventually, you end up with every teams schedules each week so that you can care for everyone whenever you can.
Flash forward to 2025, the Grid is changing a lot this year, there are many new rookies and new reserve drivers that you want to get close with, so your entire preseason is filled with cuddling with all the rookies, with Ollie, Kimi, Jack and Liam vouching for you and joining the cuddle piles on a technicality
At this point your motorhome has also grown to a full on hubrid haven, you have every type of shampoo, but only the ones that the hybrids on the grid like, you have durable, and safe blankets, and toys galore, and some nights instead of going to their own hotels, some drivers just stay with you in your motor home. To make sure you don't get lonely, of course. No other reason.
During the season a lot of the times your focus is probably on drivers who dnf, or just have an unusually bad race (think charles in vegas) so sadly Logan, Zhou, Franco, Checco, and Valtteri in 2024 spent a lot of time in big cuddle piles in your motor home
For Otter!Franco, to prevent him from pulling out tuffs of fur, you have a box of anti-skin picking fidget toys, that can keep him occupied for hours. Get him comfy, and give him one of those and a few cuddle buddies, and you're all good
I think Golden Retreiver!Logan would be the reason your motorhome is always overrun with blankets. His reaction to everything is making a den, so whenever he dnfs, you know there will be a den with you and him in it, facing the TV to cheer everyone else on.
Cat!Zhou would probably try to throw himself into trying to fix the car, and improve for the next race, so it takes a bit of effort to get him to relax, but especially if you have Logan with you, eventually you can herd him into a nice, warm, bed, for him to nap his troubles away
2024 was also the year of drama, so, so much drama, and sadly, some of that would end up leaking into your motorhome. You tried as best as you could to keep it drama free, and the drivers mostly respected that, just opting to not cuddle with certain people, but sometimes, tensions got too high. The best was you'd found to deal with drama was to make the two arguing cuddle. How did Max and Lando forgive eachother post Austria so fast? Well, during interviews they were still so high on adrenaline they barely knew what they were saying. An hour after, they had come down from their highs and were cuddling together, purring. Especially impressive if you don't think Lando is a cat hybrid. Oscar and Lando in Hungary? Simple, you have to get back to Monaco somehow, so mandated McDonald's, Monopaly, and Cuddle pile on the plane. Those two are, at the very least platonically, soulmates, they aren't about to hold a grudge that long. Especially not while you are watching. Charles and Carlos? That one took a bit more time because Charles wanted to party his feelings away with max, but rest assured that the following morning he was dragged to breakfast-in-cuddle-pile-where-you-talk-your-feelings-out with you and carlos. You gotta supervise. Can never be to careful.
Vinnie what have you done to me this is more than I write for some of my own fics.
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i. 🦕 this is amazing i love it???
(notes: this is very long. and also possible more intimate with reader than you intended but it's not sexual intimacy and it's not necessarily romantic either so. read however you like!)
when you first start working as a hybrid handler, you're only assigned to take care of lewis
with him being a panther hybrid, there were a fair few handlers who wouldn't/couldn't work with him
and then comes you. fresh out of training, probably no more than 20 years old when you start with lewis at mercedes
you're not as experienced as some other handlers he's had in the past, but lewis learns very quickly that that isn't much of a hindrance for you
you listen
don't get him wrong, his other handlers had been fine, but they'd all been fairly rigid in terms of how they'd work with a hybrid
you? you asked lewis what worked best for him. how he liked to do things.
when lewis told you that he didn't really know, you told him it was okay and that you could find out what worked together
if he said he didn't trust you immediately after that, he was lying
it takes a while for lewis to show affection but you are undoubtedly his favourite handler
the first person he brings to you is arctic fox!nico
you see him and it's immediately clear that his handler—however well intended—has no idea what they're doing
his fur is dull and uneven, with several patches of tangles
you get lewis set up with his own care routine (including vegan snacks carefully planned by a special dietician you found to make sure lewis was getting all the nutrients he needed as a big cat hybrid)
and then you start with nico
who is shocked at how gentle you are? his handler wasn't rough or abusive or anything, but they tended to just tug at whatever fur got tangled
but you sit him on the floor with lewis and just quietly get to work teasing apart the knots in his tail
you have special hybrid detangler in your emergency kit
you'd never needed it with lewis because of how short his panther fur was, but you had on occasion used human detangler when lewis asked you to help with his hair
anyway
nico feels a little awkward about chatting with lewis while you work on him, but it doesn't take long before they're talking and laughing
he doesn't even notice when you're done because he barely felt a single tug the whole time
you just sit back and wait for a natural break in their conversation to tell nico you'd like to take a look at his ears and claws to make sure they're okay, but you understand they're a sensitive place for a lot of hybrids so it's completely fine if he'd rather not have you touch them
nico just blinks. looks at lewis. looks at you. looks at lewis. and when he sees that a) you're serious and b) lewis is still totally relaxed and even mentions that you check his panther ears and file his claws all the time without issue, nico will shyly agree to let you do it
it's a little harder for him to focus on talking to lewis when you're checking his ears, checking his claws, and his heart is pounding
once you're sure he doesn't have any immediate health issues, you mention that you could give him a few places to look for better care products for hybrids (like brushes, shampoo, conditioner, etc) and nico just. he doesn't know how lewis ended up with such a perfect handler
needless to say, he ends up visiting you pretty frequently too
you're sure you couldn't count the number of times you'd ended up as the center of their cuddle piles
or the number of times you'd broken up little bickers between them
the visits drop off a little in frequency in 2016
when nico does drop by, it's only when he knows lewis isn't there
at first, you're able to get them to talk through their battles on track and reconcile
but that doesn't last for too long
before you know it, they're both playing psychological warfare with each other
the only thing they both know is over the line is you. lewis wouldn't stop nico from visiting you. nico wouldn't try to poach you from lewis. neither of them brought you up at all in their interviews
you took care of them, they would never drag you into the middle of their elaborate break up
ironically this is roughly when you start getting visits from bunny!seb, peacock!jenson, and lynx!kimi
they're much shorter because you definitely have your hands full with brocedes
but 2016 is when they start kinda catching on that you're easily the best handler in the paddock
meanwhile, you're still trying to stop a complete breakdown between lewis and nico. you've given up on trying to get them to stay friend, but you refuse to have them not be able to be civil
after nico retires, he still drops in to see you every now and then
he does go to you for advice if his kids are hybrids too
(they always love whatever you give them)
in 2017, you start working with flamingo!valtteri as well
you kinda love his flare
definitely arguing with mercedes about giving him longer than 1 year contracts
anytime he and lewis are both with you, expect a lot of laughter
from them or from you
they're very goofy together, you will end up laughing at them a few times
you teach val how to not hyper-extend his knees like his flamingo side wants to
he's quite surprised that standing isn't supposed to be uncomfortable
2017 is when you get your own motorhome, separate from mercedes because toto gets tired of nico constantly asking him for keys and directions
at this point, you're still kind of mercedes secret? except that seb, jenson, and kimi are all interested
jenson ends up hanging out with you a lot because mclaren doesn't really need a reserve driver all that often
when you offer to help him preen some of his peacock feathers during a race, jenson finds out just why lewis and valtteri and even nico are just about always with you in the paddock
he blabs to seb and kimi, and ... well, in 2016 you had two hybrids, in 2017 you have six
breaks between races consist of you doing lots of research and shopping to make sure you have everything you could possibly need for each of the six hybrids you accidentally acquired
lewis is fairly low maintenance after you get his routine settled, but he still chooses to hang out with you pretty often
he and nico definitely ended up buying you an apartment in their building in monaco at some point
for the most, you stay out of the public eye in the paddock
sometimes you'll walk around with lewis or valtteri, especially if they don't have media duties
mostly you just hang out either in your special hybrid-friendly motorhome or in the mercedes garage
there's a pretty well-established rule in mercedes that if the door of your motorhome is closed, you do not go in. you don't knock unless it's an emergency. you leave the hybrids alone to have their decompression time
at that point ferrari/mclaren don't think to look with you when they can't find their drivers
so kimi frequently ends up hiding in your motorhome when he's fed up with media duties
the next time you get a new hybrid driver is 2019
seb brings bunny!charles because he's new to ferrari and just so jittery that he knows you can help him settle down
you help charles find a comfortable way to tape down his ears during races
and help him unwrap and massage them again afterwards
he sends bunny!arthur to you to get you to help with his ears too
fast forward to 2022, your collection of hybrids explodes. you're not entirely why the rest of the grid decided that year was the year to join, but they do
you were expecting to have george, and you half-expected him to bring alex with him
but you weren't expecting lance (who brought esteban and mick)
or pierre (and yuki)
or lando or guanyu or max or kmag or ... you could go on
before you know it, you're getting calls from every team on the grid asking you to handle their hybrid drivers
you checked with lewis first of course, and he was fine as long as he still got taken care of
at this point you're pretty used to juggling several drivers and several schedules
kimi, jenson, and nico still drop in whenever they can to "stock up" on hybrid care
anyway, each hybrid driver gets at least an hour allocated to them every race weekend
any free time you have is usually whoever wants to hanging out in your motorhome
it's a nice break from the pressure of the paddock for them
you're the best mediator, too
no matter what spat happens in the car, you'll have the drivers involved both cuddling up to you and talking normally within the hour
it's not a perfect science of course
but you're also pretty good at telling when a driver just needs time and space to work through their emotions before they can reconcile
2024 was ... hectic, to say the least
for starters, your motorhome was pretty much a permanent den because that was golden retriever!logan's instinct whenever he was sad
even after williams dropped him, he'd travel with you just to curl up in his den with you
bonus if he gets to have oscar join in afterwards
after austria, everybody was tense
even george and oscar and charles
they wanted to celebrate their podiums with you
but they knew max and lando needed handling more than they did
it took you several hours to get them sorted out again
and then you could celebrate with the others
and hungary was a shitshow, but at least oscar and lando were pretty happy to accept that it was the team's screw up and not theirs
by the time 2025 rolled around you’ve barely managed to recover from the previous season and you still regularly fall asleep whenever you get a moment to yourself
but with six new rookies on the grid, you couldn’t exactly slack off
getting them comfortable with you was surprisingly easy
for the most part they were basically just overeager puppies
you had no idea what was in store but you were sure there’d be equal parts comforting and congratulating drivers
you met liam, ollie, and jack briefly when they were in the paddock last season, but this was their first year in your official hybrid collection
you still didn’t really know how it had gotten this big
poly bear!ollie and cat!kimi with hybrid handler reader… do u see my vision (i need them so bad actually)
no bc same anon
you were prema's resident f2 hybrid specialist
maybe you started in 2024 so ollie and kimi were the first hybrids under your care
obviously they've both had a few handlers before as they made their way up the feeder series
but no one like you
for starters, you're actually taking care of their special enclosure at the prema headquarters??? you're trimming bushes and removing thorns and putting up scratching towers for kimi and tyre swings for ollie?
you're pretty new to being a professional hybrid handler, because you're probably only around their age too
anyway
you're so perfect and you take care of them so well that even when they're both signed to different f1 teams they're asking you to please still be their handler
prema is always looking for the best for their drivers and tell you that if you're interested in continuing to work with kimi and ollie that they'll release you from your contract (+ you'll always be welcome back to handle their other hybrid drivers)
so you get a new contract split between mercedes and haas
before you know it you're running across the paddock trying to stop cat!kimi from knocking everything off everyone's tables while trying to stop bear!ollie from either falling asleep on or trying to play with everyone
the only time you can take your eye off one of them is if you leave bear!ollie with bunny!arthur and the ferrari hybrid handler. they'll play and probably wreak havoc but they'll be safe and it means you can stop kimi from hissing at a reporter who flirted with your or ollie
they're chaotic and tiring and sometimes you wonder if you'd have more energy if you weren't their boyfriend/handler
but at the end of the day, you love them and they love you
thinking lots about hybrid!leclercs, specifically about their FP1 in Abu dhabi! like maybe reader is a member of the ferrari team, helping handle the hybrids. bunnies are very social and prefer to stay in groups, so arthur and charles being able to be together means you have two overexcited hybrids to take care of. like, the only time you're getting them to calm down is when they're asleep.
(also this got me thinking of bunny hybrid!seb... i think ferrari is just the home of bunny hybrids)
anon. anon this is brilliant. bunny!leclercs and bunny!seb >>>>>
we can (and should) talk about hybrid handlers in the hybrid!au!!! maybe each team has their own, maybe there's one or two that work with all the hybrid!drivers ... depends on how many you see as hybrids i suppose.
arthur and charles are so excited to be driving together! you know bunny hybrids are very very social and will often have vastly different personalities when they have a companion, so you're prepared to be wrangling overexcited bunny brothers all weekend. and that's exactly what you end up doing.
you have to drag them away from countless wires and games of chase in the paddock just to keep them vaguely on schedule. it takes so much effort just to get the two of them through media day that by the time you get back to the ferrari garage you're just about ready to collapse. luckily, so are arthur and charles. you'll poke your head into charles' driver's room to check on them and find two lil bunnies curled up together.
maybe you've been with the team for a long time. maybe you saw seb and charles interacting and that's the only way you know how to handle two over-excitable bunny hybrids together.
(also opens the possibility of poly!simi with bunny!seb and lynx!kimi?)
(also also ferrari being the home of bunny hybrids in f1 could then extend to bunny!ollie and bunny!lewis ... i'll see myself out)