Shower Tips for SA/R4pe Survivors by a SA/R4pe Survivor!
Hello, my lovelies, it's me, Bunni! Before I start, though i do want to say anyone can use these tips! Everyone is welcome, and if they help you, please keep doing it! <3 also um I have no idea how text posts work and how to change font size and colours, so if anyone would be kind to help PLS DM ME! There is no shame in needing tips for showering in gen btw! Some people will say it's not that hard or downplay it, but they dont live in your shoes! Your feelings and experiences are valid, and hygiene as a whole is hard not just for survivors but for so many people in genarel. You're not gross/dirty or "doing too much" if you need help with hygiene, you're still a human that deserves kindness and love <3 If anyone judges this post please understand how lucky you are that you can shower without fear, without overstimulation, without dread. Instead of judging others and downplaying their struggles, show them kindness, as I'm sure you would want the same.
TIP 1 Wear a swimsuit! I've never gotten to the point of needing to wear a swimsuit myself (very close though), but that doesn't mean there is any shame in it! and i would make sure to pick one that you love and feel comfy and cute in as that will really help! For plus-size people i highly recommend Retro Stage as they have a bunch of cute stuff!
TIP 2 Dim lighting! Dim lighting can really help with sensory issues and make it feel less invasive. Though it's ok if you can't as not everyone has dimmers. To combat this, candles are really good for this! it can also be the battery ones, btw, though if you do get actual candles, get some with a nice scent that makes YOU feel relaxed and calm or a smell that makes you feel happy or fills you with good memories. tbh get those fun bath lights or shower lights!
(i am Canadian, so keep the price in mind) theres this one! i would highly recommend these over the ones with cheap motors as they break fast. link for product above
And I found one for those that dont want to deal with sticking things to a wall. Both are rechargeable btw!! link for product above
TIP 3 MUSIC!!
Of course, music is a big help! I would say play whatever music makes you most happy, though, also as a goth, I could never really listen to goth music while in the shower. I tried, but it would actually make me worse. for those who have that same/similar struggle, listen to something upbeat! I only really listen to Pink Pantheress in the shower as her music makes me so happy, I just wanna dance. Find something that makes you feel the same, so you can (carefully!) dance all the bad thoughts away (the fav songs that I highly recommend are Tonight, The aisle, summer, true romance and Romeo). I play this setlist a lot while showering, so i super duper recommend! You also dont need a speaker! just use your phone or ipad and even laptop and put that shit on BLAST! if you dont have a speaker, place you phone down where the speaker is facing you, this is what i do for my iPad, but there are plenty of homemade speaker tuts on tiktok and yt!
TIP 4 Shower mats and chairs and bars!!!!! something a lot of people just dont talk about is going through a bad CPTSD ep, you have like NO energy like me personally, when im having a god-awful ep filled by my bipolar depression FUCK I do not want to do anything but cry in bed on call with my bf I think everyone should have non-slip mats in genarel cuz its just safer/ You can find them in dollar stores, Walmart, Shoppers (drugstores), and i think they would be in Target. I dont know, I'm not American but never fear bunni is here with links!!
tho i still recommend you get one in person! (i think Miniso has cute ones too) link for product above
Here is a chair without a back if preferred
chair with back
shower bars as well!
TIP 5 Baths! If showering is too hard, try baths! if you dont have a plug, you can find them at the dollar store! Baths can be much more relaxing. Bubble baths would also just make it feel more fancy and fun, and love a good bath bomb for the super hard days (i fuck with the ones that have like little toys in them, that's fun). Raid the dollar store for fun bath things like colour changing bubbles, idc that shit is fun and will help distract you and me personally...love a good mermaid toy to just let rip in the tub, i love watching it swim its just super fun to watch for me. theres also no shame in a rubber ducky. Also highly recommend getting bath salts to cloud up the water if you dont want bath bombs or bubbles
TIP 6 temperature control! When getting out of the bath the god-awful sensory nightmare that is feeling the cold shock to your body is one of the worst things ever and makes me have flashbacks, deadass. For this I recommend getting a space heater and also dry your self off in the shower/tub first! The less wet you are, the less the cold will cling to your body!
TIP 7: Decorate your bathroom! ofc not everyone can do a full makeover, but you can get products in your fav colour and sent, you can get a sponge in your fav colour. I really recommend those loofahs over towels as they can feel softer and less harsh. I know they do get dirtier faster, but to me it's worth it. Have towels in your fav colour! I had a robe that i would put on right after drying off but now I dont need it anymore! I also think those hooded towels would be super helpful, I've been itching to get my melody one lol
TIP 8: Bring a comfort stuffed animal/object and take breaks! theres no shame in taking breaks while showering! It's overstimulating and just very hard so taking that moment to decompress will really help. There is no age where stuffed animals and objects are weird to bring someone comfort! all of that is valid and completely normal and ok. i always have my mocha build a bear with me waiting for me outside just in case i need her <3
TIP 9 TOYS!!!!!
make it fun to distract you!! i LOVE bath toys omfg they are the best, you can also get those bath crayons or markers, idk what their called but my friends had that and i was so jealous and they wash right off! i think this would be best for minors still living with parents. They sell them at Walmart and the dollar store but you know i got the link
lowkey might cop these for myself
theres also those wall stick-on toys that are really fun!
like im sorry, this looks fire to me personally, and they have ones that make bubbles???? actually heat. There is no shame in liking toys as an adult and teen, btw if this helps you, that's ok!! Who fucking cares, let yourself be happy and have fun!
Like these are just too cute! Sorry, I got carried away...
TIP 10: Have a routine! My routine starts with locking the bathroom door, as it just makes me feel safer. I also just do my whole skincare routine in the shower and brush my teeth. It has honestly made it easier for me to start doing it every day and showering more! I make it feel fancy, and I got pretty much everything from Walmart and the dollar store from my routine. The only thing that isn't is my face wash. also theres no shame in buying things from the dollar store, they deadass sell the same shit as Walmart and Target but cheaper.
TIP 11 Alternative Hygiene Methods
if you aren't ready for a full shower yet or a partial one, fill in the gaps with alternative hygiene methods! use dry shampoo! theres also no shame in sponge baths and using baby wipes!
That's all I have for right now but I will for sure update this as i get more ideas! Please stay safe and know that you are loved and valid! it will get better, trust me. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable, and you will one day. love Bunni! If you need support, you can contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-HOPE or visit Rape Crisis England & Wales if you dont have a phone number like me. (I use them all the time to chat when my supports aren't available, and they are very kind and understanding!)
