#hymenectomy

[asexual--slut]

Personal update: my new job pays well (relatively) and other things in my life have finally started to stabilize — so I am well on track to get my hymenectomy soon 🎉 🎉

Currently looking into 4 different options, and I'm really pushing for a pre-june surgery ;-;

[go-to-rakuen]

I’m seriously considering get that hymenectomy because I’m still unable to have sex and went through months of pelvic floor therapy and I haven’t had sex in 7 years. I’ll try the estrace ointment one last time and if it doesn’t work I’m going the nuclear option.

[snarp]

Cut For Me Yelling About My Genitals

I want to start using tampons and eventually cups, because I hate the way pads feel and smell. It’s now physically possible for me to do this. I have had a goddamn vaginal ultrasound since the hymenectomy, I saw the wand and have copies of the images, I know that everything’s okay down there and there’s room now.

But I am clearly going to need to practice with dilaters for a while, because I cannot even get the tampon applicator all the way in. It still feels too narrow and like I’m going to hurt myself. Which isn’t entirely unreasonable, because the first few times I tried this, I did hurt myself, and I was a kid and that burnt pretty deeply into my brain. It’s something that requires desensitization, viz, using the dilaters.

But I Really Fucking Hate Them. I do not like Medical Things or Vagina Things, and the dilators are both. I am sitting on the couch typing this because I got all shaky trying to get a tampon in and then had to wash a lot of blood off my hands.

[propshophannah]

Hey! So I was looking at the posts about hymen that you made and I never really looked at mine but you made me curious so I checked. So it seems like I have an annular hymen? There’s like skin jutting out in the middle so I thought it might be septated but I could only find one opening and even putting one finger in feels really uncomfortable during and after so idk if it’s annular or micro.. something. Any thoughts?

Hi Nonnie! CONGRATS on looking and exploring your own body! It’s so important for people with vulvas and vaginas to feel that they can know themselves and not be shamed for it! You’re just one more person actively creating a safe space for people to get to know their genitals. SO RIGHT ON!

First: I am not a doctor. So I can not really help you distinguish between the names for the different formations of hymen skin. HOWEVER, I can safely say that, as with all things, the hymen classifications we have are likely LARGELY based on generalizations about how the skin looks. So they’re not indicative of everyone. They’re more like broad categories that most people can/may fit into. 

So the important thing here is that you know about where you fit on the spectrum. And knowledge is power. So you now know why its hurts to use tampons or finger yourself. Therefore you can make an active choice about your one body! Such as:

to slowly and gently start stretching the skin out yourself (to help alleviate any pain if ever you should want to have sexual intercourse, or a sexual encounter with a partner, or masturbate with a dildo or something that you’d insert into your vagina etc.) to improve your overall quality of life.

to seek out an ob/gyn (medical professional) and talk about having a hymenectomy to alleviate unnecessary pain to improve your overall quality of life.

If you really want to know which classification of hymen skin you have, I would recommend making an appointment with an ob/gyn and asking them. This would also open the door for you to discuss with them about options for having it removed—if that’s something you’d like to do. 

I am a HUGE advocate of getting a hymenectomy to improve quality of life! It’s disappointing that people don’t talk about them openly and that so many people with vulvas and vaginas have to suffer unnecessarily with pads (nothing wrong with pads but if you hate them and can’t use tampons because of your hymen skin—that just SUCKS), painful masturbation and potentially SCARRING AND HUMILIATING sexual encounters.

Hope this helps nonnie!

[propshophannah]

hi so… I searched septate hymens (bc I'm 99% sure I have one) and you came up so I hope it's ok that I'm sending this!! anyway like I said, pretty sure I have one and I have an appointment but uh.. this is kind of embarrassing but I've never had an "internal exam," I guess they're called? and I'm really nervous about it. I have social anxiety so that's not helping either. I want to get mine removed but I'm not sure what to expect from the exam itself? like how does it go exactly?

Expect the exam to be awkward, but keep reminding yourself that you’re there to enlist the services of a gynecologist/doctor/trained professional to improve the quality of your life. 

They provide a service that you require to better your life and to be able to live it how you want to life it. 

I am very pragmatic and logical, so I always find it useful to envision it this way: I am a patient, yes. But I hold all the power. I can say stop or go at any time, and I am there of my own free will because they can help me in ways I cannot help myself. 

It’s also, just a vulva and vagina. That’s all. It’s a body part that we have been conditioned to feel ashamed about and most of us don’t even know why. And gynecologists look at vulvas and vaginas all day long! Yours is nothing special. They couldn’t pick it out of a lineup and they will not remember it.

Remember that they chose this profession to help people like you. Let me say that again, ob/gyns got into their profession to help keeps peoples vulvas and vaginas healthy. You’re keeping them employed, and you’re the reason they went to medical school to begin with. They’re there to help you. 

And internal exam for your hymen will probably—really—be more of an external exam. They’ll probably take you to their office to discuss what’s going to happen and ask you questions—this is when you bring up your hymen skin. And be your own advocate. Tell them why you don’t like it, why it’s in your way, that it’s impeding on your quality of life and that you know there are options and you’d like to explore them.

If you’re feeling anxious, say that. Tell the doctor “hey, I’m not sure how to explain this,” or “I’m really uncomfortable talking about this,” or “I have social anxiety and this is really uncomfortable for me.” 

A good doctor will give you the space to say that and they will encourage you to say what you need to say and they will do everything they need to do to make your experience better.

Also, write down what you want to say and read it. I’ve done it. Other people have done it. You will not be the first, and you will not be the last. Type it into a doc on your phone, then whip that bad boy out and read it. 

For everything else about what happens see this post. But know that since yours is about your hymen skin, that it will likely be all about that. Your doctor will decide if you need a pap smear or anything else. 

And lets just say that you go to a doctors office and they bring you to a room and ask you to undress before you’ve even met the doctor (honestly, if this happened to me, I’d find a new office. This is just bad practice.). But if that happened to you, you have every right to tell the nurse, “no.” And I would. I’d say I want to meet the practitioner. I want to talk to them. I want to explain my concerns etc. If they don’t give you the opportunity, then create one for yourself. Learning to start the conversations we want to have, is an important life lesson. We can’t expect other people to do it for us. We need to be our own advocate. 

So, yes. See the above linked post and let me know if you have other questions! Also, BRAVO. I don’t even know who you are but I feel really proud that another member of Club Vulva/Vagina is keeping themselves healthy and practicing self-care by going to the doctor to ask about getting a hymenectomy. You rock. Seriously. 

[snarp]

Hey everyone, good news, my hymen only grew partway back so I’m still capable of menstruating and am not gonna need surgery to prevent myself from dying of TSS/endometriosis (yet).

Hey everyone, bad news, I gotta ACTUALLY start using dilaters now probably, so, I’m gonna kill god.

[snarp]

@thegeekgene if your hymen is going to choose at any time to be imperforate/microperforate/septate/otherwise-weird-shaped, then as I understand it, statistically it will most likely have taken its chosen form before puberty. (It may even be a from-birth thing, but they don't usually check babies for this.)

Over time high testosterone/estrogen levels and/or other still-unknown factors can allow any hymen to level up in toughness/rigidity, grow to cover up punctures/cuts, etc. But it's much less likely to "self-repair" such that it becomes microperforate/imperforate if it didn't start out that way.

But basically you'd need to ask it, as this is a very personal and individual decision, for hymens. Which clearly don't care about my opinions about how they should behave.

(You can look at some hymen regrowth case studies on PubMed if you want, but I advise against it, that's not a good way to spend your time.)

[dmitriybronfman]

Hymenotomy, licensed obstetrician & gynecologists, the very best OB/GYN care. The only NYS approved surgical center dedicated to women's health in Brooklyn.

A microperforate hymen is a thin membrane that almost completely covers the opening to the vagina. Menstrual blood is usually able to flow out, but the opening is very small. A woman with a microperforate hymen will not be able to use a tampon.