Wanted to make a longer answer about how Stacey personality changed after the leap.
I dont think it changed *much* i think it mildly increased her tolerance for rule breaking temporarily.
If the leap removes her ability to *feel* a lot of things shes going to be less concerned about other people breaking rules and it causing her distress.
I dont think its that shes any less kind before it. We sed her become a tour guide for Abbie. Which i dont think she had to do. And she doesnt seem like shes actively mean in any way until someone breaks a rule. I think shes desperate for approval. And once she gets the only thing she has ever wanted she doesnt feel the need to tell on everyone at every second.
I think that might be what daniel noticed. A mild decrease in her telling
I do think evalyn was the one behind the events of the wilderness episode. So alternatively/maybe at the same time theory
Evaylyn told stacey to not be as public about telling just to avoid suspicion?
I do think stacey before the leap was far enough gone she would have hurt someone if evalyn or rabbit asked. But i dont think they were *certain* she would do it and thats why they erased what little empathy she had left.
And i still fee bad for how tragic staceys story is. I all the scenes we see her where everyone following the same set of rules she is she seems like a oretty nice person. She makes little flower things for daniel. She helps abbie find a place to sit. She does these realy little things that would make a big differnce in thet situation. And i think the only reason shes the way she is is out of fear and long term mistreatment. We know cannonically its not al for the people nearby to get hurt for something they didnt do. And im almost certain stacy tells on the others so much to give herself at least that protection. To at least TRY to not be in as much trouble .
And we know canonically her only motivation is that she wants someone to care about her. And the fact she only gets it after she breaks the biggest rule? Stacey wouldnt be okay after the events of the wilderness episode. Especially not without help. And i dont think the town is going to provide her with *real* help
Something I've been thinking about in the past couple of months is what current fans of JJK will think of the series in the future: 1, 5, 10+ years down the line after it ends. I don't think it's a secret or anything that fans are really divided and have during opinions about where the series is going and how it might end, but I'm curious about what it's legacy will be. Do you have any thoughts about that? (Also hi I hope you're having a good day!)
oooh interesting ask, thank you winnie :D hope you're having a good day too !!
hhhhh im not sure im smart enough to conceptualize this kind of thing fairly, but im gonna do my best 🤞 sorry in advance for the essay omg
one thing i wanna touch on really quickly is that i feel like the lifespans of fandoms are decreasing. im not sure if this is a fair assessment, but it seems like people move on quicker that they used to and migrate to new fandoms quickly as series end. i think it has to do with the increase in the amount and accessibility of new media, plus the trend of "consuming," rather than enjoying. part of a growing problem of rapid consumption and accelerating trend cycles.
that being said, jjk is still ongoing for who knows how long (allegedly finishing this year), and has to be animated after that. so depending on how they break the series up, and how hard mappa decides to push their workers, could be up to 5 more years of releasing content, which means retention of old fans and acquisition of new fans. i also think it will be impacted by the ending of the story.
the other two fandoms i participate in are 10+ years old (death note is 20+ at this point...) so im gonna use them as reference points
i was like...1-5 years old when death note was actively releasing, so im not sure how ppl were reacting at the time. but death note has become a "classic" anime/manga that new fans are constantly discovering and appreciating, keeping the fandom going. a lot of people still love death note, and from what i've seen, it's generally less divisive. people like death note, generally. everything has flaws and can/will be criticized, but as far as anime/manga goes, people are generally able to come to a consensus that death note is good. it has interesting characters and interesting themes and comes to a satisfying conclusion- that no man can be god. because of that, it still has a large and active fanbase that has enjoyed much longevity.
in contrast, tokyo ghoul is very divisive, and its aggravated by the fact that the anime completely diverges from the manga, and creates its own story, so the reviews are always mixed. it's wonderfully tragic or it's edgy. it's beautiful or it's boring. it has great themes or it's incoherent. it doesnt help that the mangaka was seriously burnt out towards the end of creating it. despite the fact that tokyo ghoul was one of the most popular anime/manga at one point, its fandom, while very much alive, is also pretty small. im either oomfs or oomfs-in-law w pretty much everyone here. i think the amount of criticism tokyo ghoul got (which dont get me wrong, some parts are very much worthy of it, but that's not what people were saying) affected the longevity of the fandom.
that brings me back to jjk. i think there's two camps of people in the fandom right now: those who are only interested in a "happy ending" and those who are interested in whatever ending may come, so long as it suits the themes and the character arcs feel completed. so i think the way jjk ends will be the deciding factor of its legacy and the direction the fandom takes.
personally, i'll be happiest with the second option, i mean im a tragedy fan if nothing else, and i love the thematic aspects of jjk. but i know most people will be looking out for a happy ending, at least based on what i see people saying. the fact that so many people are back to saying jjk is good after last night's leaks is proof of that to me. i think if the manga ends happily, whether it suits the story or not, people will be more likely to stick around than if it ends in a way that is less happy, but suits the story perfectly. if that makes sense.
I've been working at an autism center for just about 6 months now, and for that time I've been so proud of the work I'm doing and the overall goal this center strives towards that I forgot ABA therapy is still very much considered an enemy and torture for autistic people.
I don't know if my center is an anomaly in the world of ABA or if the tumblr users i saw commenting on a post about ABA aren't aware of some fundamental shifts takkng place, but the descriptions they used were so incongruous to the work i perform that I had to look up to make sure we are talking about the same therapy.
This blog has almost zero reach and I know I'm shouting into the void, but I guess my point in making this post is just. When i worked in a public school, i *wish* i had half the tools i have now. My job focuses on bridging the gap of communication between our learners and the world around them, whatever that gap may be. We get our learners school-ready, but what that means isnt "dont flap your arms" or "dont be so noisy." It means "hitting your teacher when you want something isnt okay but here is an acceptable way for you to communicate and reach an understanding." "Biting will not get you what you want, but pointing will." "Throwing yourself on the floor because you cant eat 5 cupcakes for lunch wont get us to change our minds about nutrition but hey if you take a bite of this apple you can have a bite of a treat afterwards."
(That being said, our non-preferred food programs are, in my opinion, not very necessary, but no one is forcing the foods down the kids throats. If they dont eat it, then they dont get the preferred food item. That's all. Access to other neutral foods is still perfectly acceptable.)
We dont use punishments, those are unethical. We use positive and negative reinforcement. Mostly positive. Tons of praise for socially acceptable behavior (again, im not talking about stims. We dont care about stims. Kids can flap, spin, clench, use chewelry to their hearts content. I'm talking socially appropriate as in not hitting or scratching someone. Using signs, AAC devices, or appropriate language for communication. Peeing or pooping in the potty (because yeah im working with 4, 5, 6 year old kids who arent potty trained yet)). Each kid has their own reinforcement schedule based on a variety of factors, and they have access to so many different toys, activities, and sensory objects. We let the kids tell us what they're motivated for, and from there we work on the things that will allow that child to safely and successfully integrate into a school setting. Oh, and all of our kids get 1:1 support so that the therapy is very much centered on them and them alone.
I know ABA has a sordid past. I know there are people out there today who use it reprehensibly still. I just hope that people are aware how the field is changing for the better. The company i work for has centers all throughout the midwest. What we do is not ideal for every autistic child -- we're actually trying to convince a kid's parents that we are no longer a suitable environment for them because at first they progressed wonderfully but then they became bored and their maladaptive behaviors increased instead of decreased. But for the kids who our programming is a helpful thing? Their parents cry in relief telling us how their kid isn't screaming/scratching/biting anymore. How they can take their kid to the grocery store without them running away or throwing themself on the floor. How their kid can now share toys and play with their siblings.
ABA is no longer the blanket enemy it used to be. So i guess dont just write something off immediately because "oh they use ABA? They're EVIL then!" And the UHC policy to limit access to ABA treatment can actually hurt families who desperately need help with maladaptive behaviors that are harmful to the kids, their peers, and the family itself.
My genuine review of T for others who may be considering or just interested in the topic.
Keep in mind that everyone will have different results on T. For me I am on a small dose because my T levels were already high to begin with.
Reasons why I went on T:
Was living out publicly as non binary but I would still feel upset when strangers would misgender me.
Had been wishing that I was more masc body wise and voice wise since at least high school.
Didn't have intense dysphoria but I felt very neutral about my body. It felt strange and like it wasn't progressing how I imagined it would. I had certain features that pissed me off, which I knew T would change.
Dysphoria was triggered in public interactions and when I had to acknowledge my body by myself. I felt like strangers weren't seeing me as me, and felt that I wasn't experiencing my body in the way I wanted to.
Pros:
Everything!!!
Voice that surprises me with how deep it is sometimes. When I lean back against a chair and speak I can feel my diaphragm rumble.
Menstruation stopped almost immediately.
(May be TMI but this is a major thing yet the only thing that I did not know was going to happen before starting). Rapid and significant genital changes. Psychologically helpful for me.
Hairier arms, stomach, and thighs.
Stomach fat and face fat increase. (potentially boob and thigh fat decrease but it may be placebo or just in contrast).
More facial fuzz.
Slightly veinier hands.
Slightly thicker/more muscular arms.
Looking at myself and seeing someone who looks good and confident and masc/butch and feeling great about it. Sometimes I look at myself in the reflections of building windows and get excited.
Being able to discuss T with other friends who are on T.
People misgender me as he/him and a man (Im non binary and go by they/them) more often than misgendering me as she/her and a woman now. This is still not ideal but it bugs me less.
Random queer strangers asking "are you on T!?" and being excited.
Knowing I dont have to live my life as a lie.
Cons:
My pre existing erotophobia (I'm triggered and obsessive over certain things relating to sex) has been activated as I experience new things.
My pre existing paranoia being rebranded into a trans related experience (I worry sometimes people are stalking me and planning to kill me for the slightest things I do wrong, now I worry that its because Im trans). This will go away once I work through my mental illness and internalized bigotry.
Voice hurt when the changes started (like a sore throat for a few weeks as if I was sick).
I cant do a lot of funny voices that I liked doing anymore, but I can do new voices.
New and strange sensations in genital area, during the first few weeks it was very painful (I have Pelvic Floor Dysfunction and Vaginismus so this may not be a universal experience).
Became slightly stinkier and oilier when I started, but it seems to have gone away.
I'm non binary and I still feel connected to women and I get anxious that people won't be able to comprehend that. (examples: others might not like me calling myself "butch" or sharing my experiences with womanhood). But this is internal rather than reflective of anything I've experienced. This may be entirely in my head.
Family awkwardness. Family members assuming crazy stories about how I feel. (generic things like: thinking i hate myself and am scared of men so i want to turn myself into a man?!?!😭😭😭). But friends and others do not assume these things.
(TMI but true) Thick buttcrack hair is annoying.
Future thoughts:
I feel very fortunate that my experience with T is going very well.
I know the best parts of T takes time and patience to become apparent so I am excited that I started at 21.
I am proud of achieving what I thought might only be a fantasy, and I hope I can have access to T for the rest of my life.
i got tagged by @akitasimblr & @wastelandwhisperer ❤️
1. What’s your favourite sims death? death by flies!
2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? maxis mix! I like alpha-y clothes but mm hairs
3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? nope
4. Do you use move objects? it’s permanently turned on in my game thanks mccc
5. Favorite mod? oof this is hard i like the health, eye care, and dental mods those add some fun little gameplay things
6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? i got get to work, cool kitchen, and dine out all at the same time
7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVing idk why lol i think it’s aLIVE but i say the opposite
8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? you want me to choose!? Ugh idk Ce is one of my fav ocs
9. Have you made a simself? I do kinda 1 & 2
10. What sim traits do you give yourself? loaded question lol. geek, clumsy, animal enthusiast, loves the outdoors, and outgoing
11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? ooo the red is nice but the new neutral dusty white swatch is my fav
12. Favorite EA hair? i literally dont know 😭
13. Favorite life stage? i play with YA the most but probably infants or toddlers
14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? i mean i mostly do gameplay but i will be in the mood to build from time to time its only residential tho i cant make a community lot at all
15. Are you a CC creator? i have made a few recolors for personal use but thats really it. ive made conversions too but nothing ive released or plan too unless i get more free time
16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? lol yeah i have simblr friends ive been SUPER inactive tho lol
17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) 3 is probably my fav but i really do enjoy 4. 2 will always amazing that’s how i got introduced and i will always love it
18. Do you have any sims merch? not that i can think of
19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? nope
20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I USED TO USE ALPHA HAIR. thats all thats how its changed. i went really mm after the alpha hair and now ive been more mix the last few years
21. What’s your Origin ID? oh um wileyfern i think i dont actually know
22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? lol uhh too many
23. How long have you had a simblr? 2017?? maybe 16. it was active in spurts when i first started
24. How do you edit your pictures? RESHADE, lol that does all the work. oil paint, smart sharpen, and increase/decrease brightness when needed
25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? at this point i dont even know. horseys please ❤️ just more worlds actually thats what i want
25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? island living, cottage living, uhh idk i like a lot of them
Dude seeing as tho you’re an econ student, can you explain why inflation happens?? Like why can’t prices just stay the same?? I genuinely don’t get it. Like wdym we’re gonna have 22% inflation next year?? Like thats insane. Like why are they upping the energy bills?? Why can’t they just stay the same, every other country has a cap on it, why are we raising ours. Im literally so confused rn
no this is so valid of you and i promise you EVERYONE is confused like the annoying thing about economics/politics is that it's the BACKBONE of a society yet normal people dont really know much about it unless they actively try and find out, which is how we create blunders like brexit bc people are just uninformed.
so inflation is a general rise in prices. that's all it is. it's can be a good thing, and it's an example of when the market fixes itself because like anything in economics, it's part of a trade-off. IF INFLATION DIDN'T HAPPEN THE MARKET WOULD FAIL!!! IT DOES NEED TO HAPPEN IT'S JUST WHEN IT HAPPENS TO THE EXTENT IT IS HAPPENING THAT IT GETS VERY BAD!!!! IF IT DIDNT HAPPEN AT ALL WHILE ALL THESE EXTERNAL FACTORS CONTINUED THEN THE ECONOMY WOULD LITERALLY CRASH!!! MONEY WOULD LOSE ALL VALUE!!! AND NOT IN A GOOFY 'HAHA YESSS NO MORE MONEY!' WAY I MEAN IN A INSTANTLY CRIPPLING THE WORKING CLASS AND ALL THOSE THAT CANT STAY AFLOAT WAY!!! THIS IS IMOPORTANT!!!! it all comes back to the very basic model of supply and demand and creating new equilibriums, which to my absolute dismay im gonna have to whip out a diagram for, so here she is Thee Supply And Demand Diagram:
so we can see here that shifts in supply or demand create new equilibriums, aka the point where both lines meet. when supply moves right (increases) and/or demand moves left (decreases) (e.g s1 -> s2 and d1 -> d2), we see prices fall, just like the opposite would see prices rise (aka inflation!). to apply that to what's happening at the moment, general supply chains are just really fucked. russia has cut gas to europe, hence a plumet in supply there and the energy crisis we're now in. ukraine (the 'breadbasket of europe') isn't producing/exporting as much as normal, hence another plumet in supply etc etc. basically every supply chain at the minute is having issues and that immediately causes prices to jump. why is the uk in particular such a shitshow at the moment when these external factors are affecting multiple countries? because this is happening in a post-brexit post-covid-handled-by-the-tory-party post-prime-minister-popularity-contest-during-a-national-crisis economy. it's not looking good bruv. low and behold, we are in a cost of living crisis.
if prices didn't rise to meet these external factors, aka if we stick with the energy example, then we see a plummet in supply with prices staying the same. spending isn't being dissuaded and NO ONE is being pushed out of the market. the reason prices rise is to slow down consumption of the supply and make it last longer, so keeping prices the same, while better for everyone in the short run, would completely fuck us over in the long run bc we'd just run out COMPLETELY and it would be a GLOBAL PROBLEM.
the worst thing about inflation is that it hits poorer people the hardest. you know i said earlier that higher prices push people out of the market to slow the rate of consumption? yeah that's poor people getting pushed out of the market. the people who cant afford energy stop getting it first while richer people can usually ride out crises and recessions. a good thing about the inflation we're facing at the moment is that it's coming from external factors; there hasn't been an actual crash in a part of the economy. take the 2008 recession for example. that was caused bc of the crash of the housing market in america, and as a result it took YEARS for the world to get back on its feet. economic turmoil at the minute though should recover quite swiftly as long as our government gets their shit together (which hopefully if liz truss makes enough of a tit out of herself we'll get a labour government in the next election). in fact inflation is supposed to go back to around 2% (the target rate) in approx two years and is supposed to start falling by next year. still, that's a long time for a normal person on a normal salary to get by with such high costs, and it's not gonna be fun.
as for a price cap, the uk does have one! im pretty sure it doesn't apply to businesses though and only applies to households, which is why particularly there's been a lot of news about pubs closing lately. but like you said, the cap keeps getting higher and higher lately and it's literally because the economy will not survive if we keep selling energy at the current rate; it has to be more expensive bc of everything i just explained. the issue here is that there are things the government can do to ease the financial burden faced by the people and to speed up the economic healing process, but they're not doing that and THAT is where the problem lies.
my rheumatologist has done more for me towards getting a POTS diagnosis than my cardiologist thats kinda sad bro
i came in to the cardiologist the other day (finally after waiting MONTHS) hoping for a tilt table test to see how my heart rate and blood pressure react to orthostasis in a controlled setting. the doctor didnt actually do a thing to test me for it in-office, i was just told to schedule an echo (which is fine), holster (alright) and stress test (why). but i was also prescribed eastern medicine as a treatment....“superbrain yoga”? like i dont want to seem closeminded because she is an indian doctor and there are some things that western medicine hasn’t caught on to but i realy wish i was told why it is supposed to work. like i want to know physiologically how and why it supposedly works. get technical and mechanical with me bro i have le autism, thats my language if you wanna really convince me. if it’s about toning up the muscles in my legs to squeeze the blood into my core upon standing why dont i just do squats? why do i have to do all this really specific stuff like hold my tongue at the roof of my mouth and face east, crossing my arms (right arm must go over left) and maneuver my hands in a certain way to grab my earlobes while doing those squats? is that merely a concentration sort of thing to make your brain focus? if so, why not just let me know what the purpose to these specific movements are (and what does focusing my brain have to do with treating POTS symptoms anyway)?? i’m not a spiritual person so the spiritual aspects of it do nothing for me. but at least i wasn’t given intensive aerobic exercise because i cant do that lol. i was just prescribed core strength training with planks and crunches (fine with me) and “superbrain yoga” (the specifics still confuse me but i’m doing it anyway)
but i didnt even get a tilt table test while i was there, i asked about it and she said “we stopped doing tilt table tests a while ago” and i was like ????????? thats like the gold standard to test for POTS my guy. based on just my symptoms she said i had dysautonomia and i asked “what about POTS?” and she said “it could be” and i was like ? could be? bro you didnt even test for it?
the whole visit just felt really vague and dismissive to my issues (yet again). fucking even my rheumatologist said before this visit to the cardiologist that i “probably have POTS”
so when i left the cardiologist the other day i wrote this up because i was very upset, felt dismissed, and took matters into my own hands to show what kind of medical concepts i’m capable of comprehending and the kind of language i want doctors to talk to me about my conditions in. and today i read it to my rheumatologist during today’s appointment:
the cardiologist says i have dysautonomia, “caused by dysfunction of the small blood vessels”. in the clinic, the nurse measured my laying vs standing blood pressure (which increased rather than decreased) but they didn’t do my heart rate there for some reason. but on my own i’ve measured my heart rate to jump above 30 bpm within 10 minutes of standing, so with all the symptoms lining up exactly with what’s expected of POTS (heart rate increase greater than 30 bpm within 10 minutes of standing, no drop in blood pressure, lightheadedness, brain fog, palpitations, prolonged fatigue, heat intolerance, excessive sweating etc), i’m convinced that the type of dysautonomia i specifically have is POTS, not just the umbrella term “dysautonomia”, and the specific brand of POTS i have is the neuropathic POTS subtype which is thought to be caused by sympathetic denervation (partial autonomic neuropathy) in the lower extremities. this causes the blood vessels in my legs not to constrict as they should when standing, which in turn causes blood to pool in the legs and not return to the heart, causing the heart to have to source its blood supply from elsewhere in the meantime to compensate (with an overall lower venous return), driving up the heart rate and causing lightheadedness. my blood tests also showed i am also very slightly anemic by 0.1 point below the normal range (11.6 g/dL)
the resulting denervation hypersensitivity from the sympathetic denervation what is thought to cause erythromelalgia—which i express all the hallmark symptoms of as well in my feet (redness, increased skin temperature, burning sensation (feels like walking on a hot pool deck), cold to touch and bluish purple when not actively flaring, flaring occurs at night, symptoms worsen with exposure to heat and exercise (including walking on feet while flaring) and are relieved with cooling and elevation). i have no response to the cold unlike with what is seen in raynauds. i actually consider cold exposure my savior; the heat is my worst enemy, it makes me feel faint and lightheaded dysautonomia-wise and it makes my feet flare up rheumatologically.
“Several previous investigations have provided clues that patients with the postural tachycardia syndrome have peripheral autonomic dysfunction. Streeten et al. found that patients with orthostatic tachycardia had excessive venous pooling in the legs while standing and suggested that denervation of the legs was a mechanism of the syndrome. This hypothesis was supported by the finding of hypersensitivity to infusion of norepinephrine into the veins of the foot, despite high plasma catecholamine concentrations. [...] These stimuli increased norepinephrine spillover in the arms of both the patients with the postural tachycardia syndrome and the normal subjects, with similar increases in the two groups, but failed to increase norepinephrine spillover in the legs of the patients. [...] The reduced clearance of norepinephrine in the legs, without a similar reduction in the arms, may result from impairment of norepinephrine-reuptake mechanisms due to isolated damage to nerve terminals in the legs. [...] CONCLUSIONS: The neuropathic postural tachycardia syndrome results from partial sympathetic denervation, especially in the legs.” — (https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJM200010053431404)
“The laser Doppler flowmetry signal after sympathetic stimulation of reflexes mediated through the central nervous system, was significantly diminished in patients with erythromelalgia as compared with healthy controls. [...] Vasoconstrictor responses involving central sympathetic reflexes were attenuated in erythromelalgia. Local neurogenic vasoconstrictor regulation, vasodilator response to local heating and hyperemic response to ischemia were maintained. [...] The finding of reduced skin perfusion before provocation is in accordance with the clinical observations that many erythromelalgia patients exhibit cold acral skin between attacks. [...] These results indicate that postganglionic sympathetic dysfunction and denervation hypersensitivity may play a pathogenetic role in primary erythromelalgia.” — (https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0022-202X(15)41629-X)
“Denervation hypersensitivity is a phenomenon peculiar to smooth muscle innervated by the general visceral efferent system. Following denervation there is increased sensitivity of the muscle to neurotransmitters. This is evident in smooth muscle innervated by sympathetic neurons when the postganglionic axon is affected. Such denervated muscle shows hypersensitivity to the application of epinephrine or to circulating epinephrine released during excitement.” — (https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B9780721605616500198)
although my rheumatologist is in no position to give me a POTS diagnosis she very much agreed with the connections i made and said she thinks i am right on the mark with my conditions. she told me im a real academic patient and even that i’d be well suited for going into medicine lol. not only is it refreshing to have a doctor that doesn’t disregard their patient’s knowledge, but it’s good to see what i’ve learned about nerves from my biopsych classes (and in my own time for funsies) paying off in ways concerning my health. my mom who is a nurse also agrees that neuropathic POTS and erythromelalgia are what i have.
anyway the POTS symptoms have been a massive thing for me since puberty and the erythromelalgia developed a year or so after my POTS symptoms started. but i’ve always had freezing cold clammy hands and feet since i was a young child, they just hadn’t started changing colors and flaring until after i hit puberty. i’m not sure what destroyed the sympathetic nerve fibers in my legs (as most POTS happens in teenagers due to some viral illness but i’ve never had that?), i was also just tested for a bunch of autoimmune factors and disorders and my results came back negative. maybe it’s just a genetic factor, who knows, probably something caused by a hormone’s cascading effect gone awry at some point. it seems a lot of autistic afab people have POTS or some other type of dysautonomia for some reason and i’m curious as to why.
anyway i’m really stuck in a liminal space because i have no official diagnosis beyond “dysautonomia” but i’ve been sure of what it is for like over a year and it keeps getting clearer and clearer that i was right all along
