Sooo.... I'm doing the story in the eco-dome oasis. I'm on the snake part and I get the quest Scales and Measures, where a little robot scans the two snakes, and comes up with "Analysis: gravid." Now Hemet reacts, "Wait... gravid? SHE'S PREGNANT?!"
Now, no issue with this quest except one thing, two technically. Why did the robot use the SWEDISH word "gravid" instead of pregnant. And on top of that, HOW does Hemet KNOW SWEDISH?!
Pls good God tell me it isn't real. No no NOOOO!!!
TWST IS RELEASING CHAPTER 7 ON JP IN DECEMBER WTFFF OMFG
I'm gonna cry I'm gonna cry I'm gonna cry. I will never fucking recover from this. WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEBEK IS GETTING TWO SSRs WHATTT
I was happy !!!
When I saw Ace's clubwear SSR. Now I'm despair. Should I get a JP Account and save for Lillia's card? Should I not? TWST anime acknowledgement in Twitter??? Uwaaa
I uhh... lost my shit over this so uhh... I delt with my feelings by writing fanfiction, sorta. Its mostly just a drabble and half way to just being like, a summary meta post but 🤷♂️ Uhh also fair warning, I haven't written anything thats not a script in a while, and its been like 10 years since I really tried to write a fanfiction. Also misspelling and grammar errors incoming.
Uhh... cw for talk of death and imortality, aging and not, vague allusions to apathy towards death... nothing too serious, just like... thats what its about.
"Technoblade never dies."
The first time he heard those words were in hushed tones, rippling through a dingy tavern, flying with the rumors that the famed gladiator Technoblade would soon be visiting the local collisiem.
Ohkay, sure, what ever you say mate.
He couldn't help chuckling as he sipped his beer. He knew a thing or two about not dieing.
---
It was a blistering hot day as he settled in to a seat, high in the stands of the grand coliseum. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he'd happened to find himself staying in town a few extra days to see this supposedly invincible warrioir. The stands were packed and the excitement of the crowd was tangible.
The other combatants were introduced first. The announcer clearly saving the 'best' for last. The crowd going wild as Technoblade stepped onto the feild. He was a massive... man? Pigman? Towering over the other fighters. Wearing a thick red cloak, he must be sweltering in this heat.
The second the starting bell rang Technoblade moved, shockingly light on his feet. He dodged and countered with honed instinctual accuracy. He moved from one attack to another, one opponent to another, with frightening efficiency.
As the fight went on, the crowd became dominated by one single chant.
"Technoblade never dies!"
Somewhere, deep in Phil's mind. A tiny spark found some kindling.
is he..?
-----
Diamond blade met diamond blade as the two clashed. Blue eyes met blood red and somehow, it seemed neither could look away.
Is he?
He couldn't be.
Phil spread his wings, and, taking advantage of Technoblade's momentary shock at this revelation, broke the stalemate. leaping backwards, his opponent awkwardly lurching forward as he took to the sky. He looked down at the pigman, who was staring back up at him. Though they had broken apart, the stalemate continued. Technoblade probably could have thrown his sword and hit Philza. Philza could have drawn his bow, and taken a shot, taken out this unkillable foe. Technoblade never dies. Well, if that were true it would just be a waste of arrows to try.
-----
Its was another while before they met properly. How long, he couldn't quite be sure. But Technoblade looked no older than he had on that battle feild. So it probably hadn't been too long. Then again he wasn't exactly confident in his ability to judge how old a pigman was. This time they were on the same side. One of many two-person wrecking squads, sent behind enemy lines to do as much damage as possible.
"Bet we get way more kills than everybody else."
That was not empty confidence. "You think? There's supposed to be some strong people in this fight."
"Come on, you're Philza Minecraft, you actually know what you're doing! And I'm really good at stabbin' people."
He laughed, Phil chuckled along. "I'll just try to play support, scout and keep guys off you while you do your stabbing."
Technoblade gave a laugh, "Appriciate it," he clasped a clawed hand on Phil's shoulder, "We got this!"
--
Phil noticed, as they fought, Technoblade seemed to grow more used to having a partner. Stopped covering all sides with frenetic energy, and just let Phil cover his back, allowing him to focus on tearing through warrior after warrior. As they fought they laughed, setting off TNT, drawing opponents into traps. It was exhilarating, fighting with someone so powerful. Someone who was... like...
Me...?
-----
As time passed, Techno stayed the same, at least pysically. Same voice, same features, only more and more scars. But no matter how grievous the injuries that lead to those scars, it seemed nothing could truly harm him. He always made it out alive. The rumors and chants were true, Technoblade never dies. Together, they always made it out alive with a laugh.
He'd saved Phil's life on more than one occasion. A particularly nasty run in with a baby zombie had seemed to leave the unshakable Technoblade quite shaken. So Phil tried, tried to be a little more careful, at least for now, for Techno's sake.
-----
Philza would go off on his own for a while. Each time, dread would build for the inevitable moment he'd return and find his friend changed, grown in grey fur, developed that telltale rasp to his voice that signaled the inevitability of his mortality. Or maybe one day Phil would simply hear that he had already died, and that would be that. In some ways, he might prefer that. He wouldn't have to face... It. But Techno never changed, his voice stayed as full and booming as it ever was. He stayed as strong and graceful as the first day Phil had seen him.
Maybe it was just... less time had passed than he'd thought. His life had been a bit more eventful recently, mostly due to the time he spent with Techno. And that always had a way of slowing things down. Maybe pigmen, piglins (?) (he still wasn't sure), just aged much slower than humans. But maybe...
Is he...
Maybe it was better not to think about it too much. Yeah, better to just... enjoy his company, however long it lasted. Whether or not Technoblade would or would not never die was.. out of his hands anyways. Well, mostly. They kept fighting together, always watching each other's backs. He couldn't really say how much time had passed. He'd stopped bothering to keep track. It didn't really matter. They had somehow fallen in step with each other, and if that simply meant Phil was once again experiencing the flow of time as a mortal would, well, that was fine by him. But somewhere, deep in his mind, he had to hope, even if the fear of that hope being crushed kept him from finding the answer. Technoblade never dies. Maybe it was true. Maybe it could be...
Ok, apparently my preferred afternoon snack is really weird and one of my coworkers gave me (affectionate) shit for it today.
So fellas, is it weird to slice a lemon paper thin, drizzle it with a robust olive oil and salt and put it on toast or rice (or just eat them straight off the cutting board)?
