#i will not be bested

[albertross10]

hes so cool. kill me

[heythatsmyuterus]

JAKE THE DOG FART MONTH 2018 - DAY ONE - A BIG SMALL PROBLEM

DO YOU HEAR IT? THERE... OFF IN THE DISTANCE. IT IS QUITE SUBTLE... YES... BUT STILL IT RINGS TRUE. A SIREN MUMBLING... A BELL CHIMING... A BREEZE WHISPERING... YES... A VEIL OF PEACEFUL MELANCHOLY SINGING TO THOSE WHO KNOW TO LISTEN... A HINT OF LONGING... EVER SO QUIET... EXCEPT IT IS NOT QUIET AT ALL ACTUALLY. THE SIREN SCREECHES. THE BELL BOOMS. THE BREEZE SHRIEKS. IT IS BLARING. IT IS DEAFENING. IT IS. JAKE THE DOG. FART. MONTH. HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GIRTH? NO. NO WAY. THERE IS NO TIME TO BE QUIET. NOT TODAY. NOT TOMORROW. NOT THIS MONTH. THE TIME HAS COME AGAIN, MY ACHING BELLY PALS. TO EXTEND YOUR SOUL OUTWARDS AND TO BREACH THE LAYER OF STATIC THAT STANDS BETWEEN YOU AND ABSOLUTE UNDERSTANDING. SO CAST OFF YOUR EXHUMATION, MY FRIENDS! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO BE EXHUMED ABOUT! NO! CERTAINLY WE ARE ALL ELATED TO HAVE MADE IT HERE ONCE AGAIN. SURELY THERE ARE NO BIG SMALL PROBLEMS PREVENTING US FROM PROPERLY ENJOYING THE JAKE THE DOG FART MONTH 2018 OFFICIAL AND WONDERFUL OPENING CEREMONY LEAD BY ME AND ME ALONE. HA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH? YOU SAY THAT YOU READ THE TITLE OF THIS MESSAGE AND THAT IT DOES ACTUALLY INDICATE THAT THERE IS A BIG SMALL PROBLEM ON THIS DAY? YES... YES OKAY I SEE THAT. AND YES... IT IS UNFORTUNATELY TRUE. BUT FEAR NOT YOUR FOLDS. IT IS NOT A SMALL BIG PROBLEM. IT IS A BIG SMALL PROBLEM. YES. ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN. SO THERE I WAS, DOING MY ELEVEN MONTH LONG EXERCISES TO PREPARE FOR THE NEXT JAKE THE DOG FART MONTH (WHICH BEGINS TODAY), WHEN I WAS SUDDENLY INTERRUPTED BY A ROTTING BOWEL HOOTER (WHO WILL REMAIN UNNAMED) WHOM WHICH I MAY OR MAY NOT SOMETIMES INHABIT THE BODY OF SO I CAN FIGURE OUT THE UNSOLVABLE MYSTERY THAT IS A KEY BOARD. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAID TO ME? THEY SAID THAT THEY COULD EASILY GET MORE PICTURES OF JAKE THE DOG FARTING THIS MONTH THAN I CAN. AND IN THAT MOMENT EVERY LAST ONE OF MY UNSPECIFIED NUMBER OF FAT FOLDS BURST FORTH IN A HEARTY DISPLAY OF DISBELIEF. YOU? YOU??? DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN GET MORE DRAWINGS OF JAKE THE DOG FARTING THAN ME??? WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU MY INSUFFERABLE VESSEL... YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT. AND THAT IS WHAT I TOLD THEM! NATURALLY, I ACCEPTED THEIR FOOLISH CHALLENGE IF ONLY TO CRUSH THEIR SPIRIT AND PROVE MY POINT. WILL I MOST OBVIOUSLY AND DEFINITELY WIN THIS POINTLESS CHALLENGE? YES. DO THEY HAVE A SEVERE AND INCURABLE CASE OF BOWEL BRAIN? ABSOLUTELY. BUT MY FRIENDS, I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE. SO HERE IS HOW THIS IS GOING TO GO. EVERY OTHER CHALLENGE YOU RECEIVE WILL NOT BE CREATED BY ME, AND INSTEAD WILL BE CREATED BY MY INSUFFERABLE VESSEL. EACH TIME YOU COMPLETE A CHALLENGE, WHETHER IT BE MINE (OBVIOUSLY) OR THEIRS (AS IF), WE WILL ADD ONE POINT TO THE RESPECTIVE “FOOLISH CHALLENGE THAT I AM GOING TO WIN” TALLY. AND WHEN I HAVE MORE POINTS ON MY “FOOLISH CHALLENGE THAT I AM GOING TO WIN” TALLY AT THE END OF THE MONTH, WE WILL ALL GET THE CHANCE TO ENJOY MOCKING AND RIDICULING THEM UNTIL THE END OF TIME, CASTING THEM INTO A STATE OF PERPETUAL DISDAIN AND HUMILIATION. WHAT IS THAT? WHAT HAPPENS IF MY VESSEL IS THE ONE WHO WINS? DO NOT ASK SUCH POINTLESS QUESTIONS. LET US MOVE ON. ON THIS WONDERFUL AND SOUL CHILLING FIRST DAY OF JAKE THE DOG FART MONTH (WHICH BEGINS TODAY), I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU A... YES! THAT IS RIGHT! YOU KNOW THE DRILL! A GRAND PLUM CHALLENGE! THE RULES ARE SIMPLE. ABOVE I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU A LIST OF THINGS THAT MATTER IN THIS WORLD, AND HIDDEN THEM WITHIN A JUMBLE OF OTHER RANDOM AND MEANINGLESS LETTERS. YOUR JOB IS TO SEARCH FOR THESE WORDS. IT IS A GAME I HAVE INVENTED MYSELF. I AM QUITE DELIGHTED AT MY IDEA. I AM GOING TO CALL IT... SEARCH FOR THE WORDS. YES. AND MY FRIENDS, TO WIN SEARCH FOR THE WORDS AND EMERGE VICTORIOUS ON THIS GRAND PLUM CHALLENGE, ALL YOU MUST DO IS FIND AND CIRCLE EACH AND EVERY WORD WITHIN THE SEARCH FOR THE WORDS BOX THAT I HAVE LISTED ON THE NEARBY HELPFUL WORD LIST. AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU MUST SEND ME THE COMPLETED SEARCH FOR THE WORD BOX ALONG WITH A BRAND NEW DRAWING OF JAKE THE DOG FARTING. AND THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT! AND WHEN YOU COMPLETE THIS GRAND PLUM CHALLENGE, I WILL ADD YOUR COMPLETION TO MY “FOOLISH CHALLENGE THAT I AM GOING TO WIN” TALLY AND CACKLE AS THE NUMBER RISES UP AND MEETS WITH THE SKY WHILE MY VESSEL’S NUMBER ENJOYS ITS TIME WRITHING IN THE MUCK AND DIRT BELOW. I KNOW YOU WILL RECOGNIZE MY EFFORTS TO BE FAR SUPERIOR. I KNOW YOU WILL MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE. AND NOW... I AM DELIGHTED TO SAY... LET JAKE THE DOG FART MONTH 2018 BEGIN.

[pointyfruit]

X

Xenogenesis by TheFatRat

I listened to a lot of his songs when I was younger. There were so many mind animatics.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

boops and runs cutely

GET BACK HERE YOU SHIT

[the-dragon-mizu]

Here i sit. in a boop war. I am on mobile. I cannot super boop. I have pressed this button so many times

[hyrude]

after the taunts and jeers thrown my way two days ago, i have picked up a new crochet hook and a new ball of yarn. i will not be deterred this easily

[iwannapushyourdaisies]

crew givin me all that heartfelt shit tonight when all my 1am shit brain can manage for them is "IM HAPPY VERY MUCH AND LOV YUO" i gotta write new ones tmr when there's processing power available........