I’m changing, and not so much in a good way.
-I shut people out, and stop talking.
This isn’t who I am. This isn’t who I want to be. I snap at my parents? How long until it starts to happen with people I care about? With friends? With teachers? With J?
Why? I’m not certain why this is happening. But I’m scared. Scared of becoming someone I don’t want to be. I pride myself on being a calm, collected, compassionate and loving person. The thought of losing myself, and all of that is frightening.
I think it’s a mix of everything that’s been thrown at me this year. The school work load I have, the drama that that Bitch started. The fact that I feel I’m losing all my friends because of her. Having to deal with so much stress based around school and home. And of course, the looming fate of having to leave at the end of the year, having to say goodbye to J and all my other teachers I’ve grown to love. I get knocked down 100 times, but get back up 101 times. But I can only do that for so long.
I feel like I’m losing a part of me.