Hard to love. Singles version.
I hate to break it to ya but oftentimes when we look at the root of this thought, it's often our own unresolved baggage causing us to feel unlovable.
When we feel hard to love (romantic prospects are just not coming through or we're getting ghosted), we should take the time to get honest with ourselves and ask ourselves a few things:
1️⃣ Do YOU love yourself? You are the only one who can validate yourself. No one else can as much as it feels like. Others don't dictate our self love and happiness. Write out a list of your top 50 fave qualities about yourself. You can do it. There's so much to love about you. You have so much to offer a partner, and if you believe what's meant for you will never miss you and that the universe/God wants the best for us, then you will find peace knowing your person is coming when the time is right. Be patient and focus on loving and improving yourself. 2️⃣Are you actually putting yourself out there? When we aren't meeting anyone, maybe it's a cause of our withdrawn behavior. Consider joining new social groups, volunteering for a cause you love, making sure to plan friend dates out in the world. How about giving the dating apps a chance? I promise there are good souls just as tired of the BS that's prevalent on these apps; consider not swiping right on the hottest person on the apps. Go for a person's soul; swipe on that average looking Joe or Jill. And get deep with that person. Yes we're all over the tired convo of "how're you? Where do you work? What do you do for fun?" And then CRICKETS 🦗. Why don't you start the convo with something deeper. Tell them your intentions for dating. See what happens. 3️⃣Are you pushing away the good women/men? And going for that elusive, game playin' chick or dude?
One piece of advice purely from learning experience: If you're feeling relatively bored as in safe and very sure of where you two stand, then you may find yourself wanting to run. Where's the chaos that so commonly comes with dating? Where's the chase? The high? The "butterflies"? If they aren't there, it may actually be a good thing. You may have found someone stable. Do not run and see what happens.👏
At the end of the day, it's up to us to love ourselves, to maintain positive thoughts about ourselves and the dating sphere, and to change the game by getting vulnerable and getting deep and knowing that will magnetize you to the right individuals.
Stay hopeful. And as a final thought, hold tightly onto the thought that what's meant for us won't miss us. Good things are coming; you just have to believe it. 🤩❤️
Www.instagram.com/reframingyourthoughts
