#i.... guess

[satyricplotter]

pls say more about Clark I’m all ears

i genuinely cannot say much i'm being so so truthful when i tell you that it gets weird very fast he is a household favorite (unlike bats lol) my mom and aunts have been obsessed with him for decades to me he is like that family boyfriend that keeps showing up for the holidays and you can't quite tell who he's dating and he's so nice and handsome it makes you feel really weird growing up and i will shut up about it right now thank you.

baseline pathetic incredibly down bad behavior. no question about it. there's a side of clark that is very preoccupied with being "normal" particularly when he's younger but this has never registered as something out of the ordinary. why should he be ashamed to show you how much he wants you?

(he's. a terrifying yandere. like genuinely the worst, scariest, deadliest etc. worse than batman i think)

terribly gentlemanly. and it can get annoying because unlike the waynes where the manners are just part of the education, with clark you know he means it. ma and pa raised him very well. if you ask him, he'll try and tone it down but it can be a little exasperating from time to time.

also man you can manipulate and guilt into literally anything you want (non dangerous). he will fold like a wet paper towel. you need to have a preexisting relationship before you try this, because he can deflect strangers like a pro, but if you've got an emotional foothold in the man, you can bend him like a spoon.

he is so. strict sometimes. no further comments.

you know it's big. don't play with me. i actually think this is one of the ones you simply cannot take in regularly, like it's not physically impossible but unless you're an alien/god, clark will break you, so you do a lot of intrercrural and oral sex instead.

he also lasts sooo long it's unfair AND exhausting

big fan of outdoor sex. you've rolled around in that stupid kansas hay sooo many times. i'd say he's a bit of an exhibitionist but frankly he's just got no patience. i know he can get y'all in his fortress of solitude in ten mins or whatever but that's still too long for him

frankly this is just me but i like it when he finds it difficult to be good or kind to other people. i like when his relationships are strange and not what they should be like or what we'd like it to be. i love to think he has a difficult relationship with kon and that he's pretty unfair about it and cannot help it. i like when he's mean and petty. no reason

okay adjacent to that i think he's got a really big hangup about the question of family and what family means to him (for a good reason) and that causes him to be somewhat inflexible in his like gut beliefs. it takes him a while to get comfortable with some things. and also. well. you can fill in the rest.

vegetarian. i don't know if that's true i just like to think about it. doesn't mind butchering animals and seeing guts he's a farm boy he just doesn't wanna eat all that.

[op-grand-collection]

[taz-drgaone]

dont think i remembered to post tjis but ye ^^ he godt ratior

[abbacchiosbelt]

"Pee is stored in the balls" I say, unprompted. Ghiaccio snaps and proceeds to strangle me to death.

yes

[billdenbrough]

when reddie are talking about getting married, the biggest thing to decide is what they’re going to do about surnames. because the losers are who they are, it becomes a Thing. at first, patty asks “why don’t they just hyphenate” and stan is forced to explain the truth: “richie is super smart but will do anything for the bit and eddie’s too Invested to be chill”. it’s a whole thing. eventually mike gets tired of richie literally campaigning on twitter to become richie kaspbrak and tells them to sort it the fuck out. somehow, they take that as the losers volunteering to be a judging panel for this debate. (“what,” stan says flatly. “i don’t know what to tell you, man,” mike says wearily. “i’ll bring snacks,” says ben.)

“i can’t believe they’re arguing this much to take each other’s surname,” bev mutters. stan throws her a long-suffering look of agreement. “i think it’s sweet,” ben says. “of course you do,” stan mutters. bill whacks him on the shoulder for it.

“all right, fuckers!” richie says, calling them to attention. “important question: what kind of pasta am i?” patty gives stan a sidelong glance. he’s gazing at the heavens as if for strength. “what,” mike says flatly. “fedelini,” volunteers ben, before anyone can threaten to shake richie. everyone pauses. “what the fuck is fedelini?” richie asks after a moment. “like skinny spaghetti,” ben says, and bev bursts out laughing. “because you’re long and skinny but eddie’s already spaghetti, oh my god.” “maybe you should just make your surname spaghetti,” patty suggests. richie’s eyes light up, but eddie says “absolutely not.” (“apple-solutely not?” bill asks with a grin. eddie flips him off.)

“ok, what the fuck ever, i’m fedelini. as we all know, spaghetti is the prime pasta, so eddie can go first,” richie says, bowing deeply. (“was that all so he could say eddie goes first bc of spaghetti? like he couldn’t have just said eddie’s going first? i literally can’t stand him,” stan grumbles. ben pats his shoulder soothingly.) eddie blinks, takes a deep breath, then rattles off like a thirty minute monologue with numerous reasons about why he should change his name to eddie tozier, including but not limited to richie’s career needing a recognisable brand name so he can’t just change it halfway through, what the fuck, rich, and also the toziers are a family he’s always loved and wanted to be a part of and maggie and went are way more something he’d want to emulate, and also maybe he wants to do something for richie, can you let him, you dickwad?

everyone blinks, and then turn to richie, who looks both incredibly touched and vaguely bashful. “i mean, my reasons were mostly about living out my childhood dreams of being mr kaspbrak when i grew up,” he says. (“aw,” ben says. stan, however, is groaning. bill is watching through his fingers. “i promise you, this isn’t going to be romantic,” bill says.) “it seemed like the natural progression from fucking your mom, you know?” (“there it is,” stan mumbles. bev is too busy laughing to respond. mike goes to stand by eddie in case he decides to murder his boyfriend and needs to be reminded that he loves him, actually.)

“i hate you,” eddie says flatly, but richie just grins. “eddie spaghetti tozier,” he says thoughtfully. “has a ring to it...” and then he’s like. down on one knee. and there’s a ring, and mike wants to be anywhere but right next to them, and eddie’s eyes are wide, and he just says: “are you proposing to me right after talking about fucking my mom?” richie shrugs. “yeah,” he says simply. “i gotta say, eds, she just really could never fucking compare.” eddie’s eyes are shining, and mike’s slowly backing away, and eddie says, “you gonna do a terrible Voice at the wedding?” a smile stretches across richie’s face. “baby, i’ll do a Voice for you every day for the rest of our lives.” and then eddie’s pulling him up, kissing him, and the losers are cheering. (“it’s not remotely romantic,” stan says, but he’s sobbing into patty’s shoulder. “sap,” ben says, which has everyone else laughing. and god, they’re so happy. maybe they’re all ridiculous and dramatic and turn things into a Thing when they don’t need to be, but it means days like this, when they’re all together and happy and full of love and light, and like. yeah. worth it)

[keekart]

Potionz

[cowboyskeletons]

tony collette catboy real !?