Why Don’t You Just Adopt?
I don’t think there is a question I loath more than that. I spent some time on YouTube tonight watching feel good clips on Truly. On a video of a couple starting the journey of IVF I see a statement I’ve seen a thousand times before and still cuts just as deep.
“Why is it so important for humans to have a child that looks likes them? Not just this couple but any couple who has infertility issues.Why have a baby? Foster and then adopt a lot of times you can get siblings who need to stay together, build a family not a child.”
Why the fuck not? Why because of the shitty card life dealt me am I forced to not have an option? Why am I not even allowed to try?
Adoption has always been something on my radar, since long before I had even fully matured. Over a decade before I was diagnosed with infertility. It is something I feel in my heart and an avenue I would like to explore one day, should my husband also feel the urge. But that wasn’t my only dream.
For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mother. That was my lifelong goal and aspiration. It was never anything but that. I wanted 2-3 or maybe even 4 kids. I wanted the white picket fence, and a life dedicated to the carpool lane and on the sidelines of whatever sports they fancied. I wanted to start my family in my early twenties, but life had other plans for me. And, as the saying goes, I’ve learned; you can’t plan kids.
But why is that my only option? It is so asinine to punish the idea of medically assisted pregnancy and see nothing wrong with those without a disease (which infertility is) procreating and not adopting.
Why should we be limited in our choices because of a medical problem? Why is the rest of the world not? Why is how another couple ends up with children even any of your business? Why do I get denied the feeling of a successful pregnancy? Why does my medical condition make me unworthy?
It doesn’t. So stop fucking asking.
