how do you think s2 li resolve an argument with mc, and do you think they need to not talk to each other / need to "cool off" before resolving it?
this became quite long so i had to make it under the cut. i also got some help from @ariendiel @lasswithumor @kingkassam and @ravenadottir so yeah, thanks to them, and forgive my rambling lol
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Bobby:
it all depends on how invested he actually is in what they’re fighting about. if he sees it as a pointless argument, which he usually does, he’s just going to want it over with, whatever it takes.
when he sees it as unimportant, he’ll simply just agree with whatever mc has to say to avoid further anger. the people pleaser in him will come out and he wouldn’t want there to be conflict between them.
i want to add that people pleasers tend to think anger is bad and more than often it can remind them of when someone was cross with them, and that anger being a telltale sign that something bad was about to happen. i have lots of opinions on Bobby’s childhood and why he is the way he is, but i’ll just keep it short here and say he grew up listening to his parents screaming and fighting a lot. as a child i imagine that he might’ve had a temper, caused by his parents behaviors and that making him constantly on edge. over the years he’s learnt to control himself in stressful situations and isn’t like that anymore.
due to Bobby growing up in that kind of environment, the last thing he would want is for him and mc to have that type of relationship. he’d rather just downplay the situation/fight to prevent it from turning even more sour.
to me it is seems like he has little experience of anger leading to a positive outcome and therefore feels safer with avoiding conflict all together.
i don’t see him genuinely arguing back with mc unless he was totally against what she was saying, like he’d rather just brush it off. in most cases, he’s just going to try and calm mc down. he wants their relationship to be sweet and smooth sailing, not bumpy like his parents relationship was.
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in those moments where he’s the one being mad, it would show immediately. he’s not going to hide that he’s mad, nothing good will come out of that and he knows it. but he wouldn’t explicitly tell her what’s wrong right away. if he was genuinely upset, then he wouldn’t fake being happy. if he did try faking it then you’d be able to tell he wasn’t genuine right away. he’d sit and pout, that’s what he’d do. i also see him staring at her until she looks his way, to then look away to showcase that he’s mad.
when he‘s really mad, i can see him being a little mean. Bobby usually edits everything he has to say in his head before he says so, but when you’re mad you don’t think rationally and lack that kind of filter. he wouldn’t think things through before saying it. it wouldn’t be anything malicious, more like sarcastic shade towards her. “oh sorry, i forgot what a saint you were, can’t ever do anything wrong can you?”
the longer the fight would last, the more frustrated he’d get and he wouldn’t be too good with his words, like he probably ends up sounding really immature. would 100% flip you off when you have your back turned on him.
but since it’s Bobby, he wouldn’t be able to stay mad at mc for long. it doesn’t matter what they were fighting about, he’s not going to let negative emotions control him.
he’s more of an ‘in the moment’ type of angry person anyways, he won’t hold a grudge against you.
keeping that in mind, he’d get worried if mc stayed mad at him for long. he might just trail after her, trying to charm his way back onto her good side. if mc was still annoyed with him after he’d tried to make up, he’d sigh loudly and ask her “what more can i do?!” the longer that she’d stay mad at him, the more emotional and/or drained he’d get.
resolving it: he doesn’t like putting space between him and mc, so that’s not how he’d want to resolve the fight. he knows that too much time apart while being mad can lead to resentment towards eachother, so in his opinion it’s better to talk it out after taking a little moment to calm down.
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Noah:
he’s the perfect foil for someone determined to win. he doesn’t sidestep conflict and he’ll admit there is a problem, but he’s happy to give in to a stronger personality. in my opinion, Noah is more of a pleaser than Bobby. at least B can properly argue back, Noah will bite his tongue all the way up until the moment where he feels cornered, that’s when he‘ll end up saying whatever he can to get out of it.
resolving it: first of all, he needs to learn how to compete. he’s brilliant at assessing his partner’s needs, but have no idea what he wants for himself. to resolve an argument, Noah will have to speak his mind. whatever his true feelings might be, they’ll have to come out. being scared of mc’s reaction won’t do him any good. i think that watching the show and seeing his fights with Hope, Noah will or at least should learn that he needs to stand up for himself a bit more.
when i imagine Noah and mc arguing, i don’t see it ending with one of them storming off in anger. i see them just staying still for a moment, trying to clear their head until one of them ends up apologizing.
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Felix:
he’s not the type to just start arguments with mc, so if they did fight it would probably be about him. if he’s ever mad at mc, he would just sit and quietly sulk until she asks what’s wrong.
don’t forget that Felix handled rejection and embarrasment very maturely. what he doesn’t like, and can’t handle, is being questioned. when you question him in the game you lose hearts with him and he changes the subject or brushes it off immediately. i see him behaving similar when arguing because he hasn’t learned how to properly argue back.
he doesn’t like fighting and will try to deny having done anything bad. if mc pushes him on it, he is just going to run away. this is mostly because he knows he’s in the wrong but doesn’t want to admit it.
resolving it: if mc was the one mad at him then he’ll cautiously return to her, wanting them to go back to normal. he’d fidget a little and say sorry, maybe bring her a shitty little cookie or something :’)
but if he was mad, then he’s going to be soooo incredibly immature about her apologizing. “what’s that noise?” or “did you say something?” uuuuurgghhh. he’d eventually accept it and they’d move on but he’d be mad smug about getting her to apologize though >:(
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Gary:
he sides steps the issue a lot! he doesn’t insist on winning anything, he insists nothing is wrong. he’s immature in that way and thinks that by avoiding confrontation, their problems will resolve themselves.
he would rather suffer an indignity or worse quietly, because he’ll worry that engaging in overt conflict might damage his relationship with mc. however, because their issues are never addressed, they can sometimes fester. when it comes to confrontation, he’s a coward.
pushing him on the subject will just cause him to get frustrated. he’ll try to make it seem like mc is acting ridiculous, every time she tries to bring the issue up, he goes: “right, i’m not doing this again”
resolving it: seeing as Gary would like to NOT talk about it, it can be a little tricky. mc would have to force him to sit down and talk things through with her, whether he wants to or not. Gary isn’t that stupid, he knows that he can’t avoid this forever, but he’ll still try. the easiest way to resolve an issue between them is to sit down and get it over with as soon as possible.
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Marisol:
....fighting with Marisol would not be fun.
She will bring up mc’s previous faults or character flaws to make her point. she’ll try convincing mc that what she’s saying is entirely ridiculous. it’s her way of unnerving her and convincing her that she’s in the wrong.
she’s the type to give you judgy looks, scoff and roll her eyes. if you expect her to act maturely while arguing, then you’re surely mistaken.
she’ll deliberately delve into areas that are sensitive, exploiting vulnerabilities and thus possibly breaking the trust between them. she might even threaten to leave as part of the argument, if it gets that bad.
i think this aggression comes from how much stress she’s put under with her law program. the smallest things will tick her off when she’s stressed.
if both Marisol and mc are in a good state of mind and are feeling good then it won’t get as crazy as i’ve previously described it as.
resolving it: if it was one of their crazy fights, then i can see one of them ending up leaving in the middle of it. when that person comes back, they’ll have to talk it out. the whole conversation would be really tense in the beginning, but eventually they’ll come to the part where the deeper issues gets unraveled and after that it would be easier to come to a conclusion.
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Elijah:
i have a feeling he can be a bit moody. when Elijah’s angry, he’ll act unbothered about everything until she asks him what’s wrong.
if mc tries to start an argument with him, he’ll acts as though he doesn’t care about it at all. he might say it’s a ‘silly’ fight anyway, that it doesn’t matter, or he’ll agree in an offhand way that shows he’s not taking any of the disagreement seriously. oh and he’d also degrade her feelings like: “you can’t really be mad over this can you?”
he has a very high opinion of himself, he doesn’t want to bother with anyone who criticizes him.
resolving it: i can’t see Elijah ever apologizing in a sincere way, he’s too stubborn for that. he especially won’t if mc is demanding an apology out of him. “fine i’m sorry i guess. that good enough for you?”
that’s usually how it ends each time and maybe they’ll umcomfortably hug too. they stay silent for a bit after apologizing, a bit awkward or unsure of what to do, and then they just go back to normal.
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Carl:
he’s not the easiest person to argue with, i’ll start with that.
due to his job, he ends up unintentionally neglecting mc and during the first few months of their relationship, this would be the cause of most of their arguments.
if mc tried to voice her disliking of him working so much and neglecting her in the process, he would be so so confused. he’s used to working that much, it’s not a serious problem to him. “w-what? how have i been neglecting you?”
in the beginning, Carl would try to brush her concerns off but eventually he’d get frustrated. in his opinion, his work isn’t something he can take time away from. he doesn’t see it as him neglecting her. “i’m not doing this intentionally!”
when they do talk it through, he’d listen to what she has to say, but also sigh loudly, run his hand through his hair and nervously bite at his nails.
when he’s the one expressing himself, it‘s difficult for him to get his point across. his mind would be going into overdrive trying to find the best way to say what he’s thinking. this just causes more confusion between them and they’d need some time apart so they both can figure things out.
resolving it: the problem with taking time apart is that Carl isn’t the easiest to get a hold off. he might just be taking on extra work to distract himself. it would be better for them to try and figure something out in the moment and try to come up with some ideas on how to fix things. mc and Carl wouldn’t handle their problems with this solution in the beginning though, so things would be tense between them until they actually do get to sit down and talk it out.
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Arjun:
honestly here, he’d just try to charm or joke his way out of it. but i can think of two different ways he’d act when it comes to arguing:
so he sees himself as a total “realist”. he’d try using the compromising technique. this means that he doesn’t always feel the need the win and is willing to give up as long as he gets something in return. this can be a good thing if both his and mc’s needs are met on an equal level. if it doesn’t happen, then it might be the start of a new conflict when the both of them feel as though they didn’t get their fair share.
unfortunatly, this type of arguing only happens when if he was a somewhat serious mood when the argument began, and babe, sorry to break it to you but that man is hardly ever in that mood. it’s more often that not that he’ll make fun of mc over being mad. he won’t take it seriously at all, saying she looks so sexy while yelling at him :/
resolving it: like i mentioned earlier, he’d try to charm his way onto mc’s good side. he might offer make up sex or something instead of actually going over their problems.
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Kassam:
when arguing Kassam’s face gives his frustration away or whatever it is he’s feeling. he starts of an argument feeling calm, but he gradually become more frustrated. his voice is calm and then it gets louder with time. he’d never yell at mc, and when he feels his voice getting a little to loud, he takes a breath and speaks more calmly. he’s learned the importance of self control and really wouldn’t like for mc to see him anything but in control.
as he is a very cool and collected guy, there’s a lot of internal monologue of him going off on a person, but it doesn’t come out that way. he’ll go through a whole argument if he‘s adamant on proving a point.
he’s not really one to get heated over something - but he won’t say no to an argument or try to give in when he knows his partner is wrong. if he thinks mc is wrong about something then he’ll tell her, there won’t be any ass kissing here. although it isn’t about being right either. he likes things to get resolved but he knows things can get touchy and words can be said rashly.
resolving it: when he’s done, he’ll walk his frustrations off, put his headphones on and come back to talk about it in a more collected matter after he’s had time to think.
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Jakub:
when fighting with Jakub, he tends to come up with excuses for his behavior. if he can’t come up with an excuse for what he did, he’ll come up with one for him to leave. something like: “i have to go to the gym” or “i have work to do right now”
there’s a lot of excuses when it comes to him, they may not even make sense but he’ll say whatever if he feels cornered.
he also belittles mc in the way of making it seem like she’s overreacting. whatever it is that they’re fighting about, he’s going to make her feel like she’s being ridiculous. arguing with someone like that isn’t easy and mc sometimes just gives up trying, leaving them with some unresolved problems that’ll likely be brought up in the next argument.
resolving it: he is so petty when he’s mad so it’ll be difficult for them to resolve it. he’s too stubborn to just accept her apology and like i mentioned earlier, they have a lot of unresolved issues that i can see being brought up again. they don’t just fight and make up, it’s fight-pause-fight-pause-fight-leave it. it lasts for a long time and it’s not fun. they never really resolve all their issues either, like theres always something left that will be brought up another time. i can see it ending with both of them just not bothering to fight anymore instead of actually untangling everything.
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Henrik:
i really can’t imagine Henrik being genuinely mad at anything lol.
i’d honestly say his go-to arguing method is the reflective one. that means that he’s prioritising the relationship above ‘winning’ the argument, and is taking the time to remain calm, consider mc’s feelings, and respond in a way he won’t feel awful about immediately after.
resolving it: none of their fights involve screaming and tears, so there usually isn’t too much to resolve. they’ll just go do their own seperate things for a bit, and then return and either forget about it or have a little chat.
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Lucas:
Lucas can be frustrating to argue with. at times he might just refuse to argue, giving the silent treatment instead. he won’t listen much in the heat of the conversation because he’s annoyed and doesn’t want to deal with it.
this can be very frustrating for mc who’ll find it impossible to get an opinion, communication or connection in Mr Angry-Pants over here, often rendering her even more angry. it’s almost impossible for anyone but Lucas to “win” that argument due to this.
other times he walks away to pour himself a drink, shaking his head the more they argue. there wouldn’t be any screaming, especially not on his part, cuz he wouldn’t ever want mc to see him lose his cool like that.
resolving it: time apart is the only rational thing to do here. once they've got some time to cool off, they can talk it out, more rationally.
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Elisa:
she might compete to maintain the 'top dog' position when an argument happens between her and mc. Elisa grew up in a competitive environment and enjoys being seen as best in the room.
if mc is also like this, then this is a useful arguing style because it shows that she can hold her ground. but that fixation on winning can damage a relationship. even when Elisa’s right in the argument, if fighting her corner until she wins the argument is a pattern, she may lose the intimacy because her dear partner mc doesn't get a look-in.
we know that Elisa already has some problems with expressing intimacy. because of this she might not know how to properly resolve thing between them and there’ll be those annoying times where she’ll act sulky and avoid resolving the issue all together. she’ll punish mc with frosty silence or by withholding sex, rather than directly saying what she’s upset about. underneath this behaviour of hers is almost always an earnest desire to be heard and respected, coupled with a fear of directly expressing that desire. in its most extreme form, her attitude can translate to her just 'existing' in the relationship. by this i mean she‘s not engaging properly, maybe, because like i said, she’s afraid of intimacy and isn’t used to being in a commited relationship where issues have to be resolved.
Elisa is used to doing casual and was hesitant about making mc her girlfriend in the first place due to not having been in that many real relationships. she doesn’t want to lose what they have but is scared to express that fear. she’s supposed to be the confident and independent girl? when her feelings start messing with her, she’ll do exactly what i mentioned above and push mc and the issue away, desperately trying to make herself be in charge of the situation.
the arguments between mc and Elisa are always heated in the moment, but more than often she does end up feeling bad for how she acted.
resolving it: they need to sit down and talk it out, time apart isn’t helping because that leads to them overthinking and getting even more mad. when the both of them have expressed their feelings, they’ll discuss the issue more calmly and both of them will apologize.
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Ibrahim:
Ibrahim becomes very immature when arguing. instead of acknowledging what he did wrong and start apologizing for it, he shifts the blame and focuses on everything except what he did wrong. this obviously isn’t a healthy way to go about an argument but thats what he’d do.
he’s not good with words either so when he gets mad at mc he’ll sit and sulk. when she finally comes and asks what’s wrong he’ll glare at her and act as though she should know already.
Mc: “i can’t read your mind Rahim”
Ibrahim: “don’t call me that”
Mc: “just tell me what’s wrong”
Ibrahim: *scoffs and shakes his head*
i don’t think he’s mature enough to know how to handle an argument, so this is how he’d behave. if mc ever got mad at him, his immediate reaction would be to get mad too.
resolving it: he’d try avoiding mc for as long as he could. he wants to make up with her, but is too stubborn to make the first move. them resolving an arguments usually goes something like:
Mc: “can we be just be over with this?”
Rahim: “yeah fine”
i really do believe Ibrahim hates having to be the one making the first move here, he’s just awkward when it comes to apologizing. it’s canon already that he’s not good with words. he’ll say it really quietly at first and get more loud and frustrated if she asks him to repeat himself. after that he’ll cross his arms, slightly embarrassed, and mc will mostly likely laugh at how silly he looks, thus turning everything back to normal.
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Lottie:
i know that Lottie isn’t a li’s until the wedding, but i still wanted to add her onto here.
she sees every potential conflict as black and white. in her opinion, she’s right, so anyone who disagrees is automatically wrong. her goal is to convince the other person to see things the “right” way, aka her way. because she is adamant, she can sometimes resort to bullying, threats or intimidation. she may get angry, yell and use inappropriate language, or she might give the other person the “silent treatment.” she‘ll pull rank to get her way, if she can.
resolving it: as said in the game, she acts childish when arguing. sitting her down and talking the issue through is the best option here. she’ll eventually see what she did wrong, even though it pains her, she’ll apologize.
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i’ve spent such a long time just writing down whatever on this post. hope it ended up making a little sense at least.
