#ibyinyf

[literally-dies-without-attention]

What happened to @ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault ? I really appreciated their blog, but they haven't updated in months.

[ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault]

Not a tragic experience message but I'm freaking out because I'm 16 and I am a freshman in High School, and I just wanted to know is that going to affect me? Like dating wise and social wise. Most freshman's are 14-15 and very few are my age. I want to date but I would have to date a sophomore or junior and I know no one at that grade since I was homeschooled and didn't get placed at the grade I'm supposed to be in. I'm just scared.

Okay, breathe. You’re going to be okay. It’s okay that you’re starting high school later than some do. Probably some of your classmates will seem a bit young. Others will seem okay. People mature at different rates and you’ll find your people. In my graduating class, we had people who were 16 and people who were 20. I dated a guy who was a year older than I was, but graduated a year later (we broke up during my first year of university, while he was still finishing high school. It was upsetting at the time, but university was full of other interesting people to meet and date.)For now (oh lordy, I sound like someone’s mom. Whatever.), for now don’t worry about dating per se. Focus on finding the people you like to hang out with. Maybe you’re into string ensemble or chess. Or maybe you’re into sports. If you find your people – your “tribe,” you’ll find the people you can talk to about the stuff you love and they’ll introduce you to other people and the year you’re in or your age won’t be such a Thing. You’ll meet people to date or socialize with. - Jennie

It is completely understandable to be scared - what a big change! My child is starting high school in a week and he’s absolutely terrified. I remember feeling the same way when I started high school. But one of the great things about high school is that it’s the biggest group of people you have been around so far - so many different kids - hundreds of them - that you have a greater chance of finding friends (and yes, maybe even someone to date) based on mutual interest and general chemistry. I was a weirdo in high school, but I was able to find a friend or two who really understood me and it made all the difference. There’s so much to explore in high school, you’ll find your way, and you’ll find a place where you belong. - Ijeoma

When I was in high school, I had a friend my freshman year who was 16. I was young for my grade, and the fact that she could drive made her like a goddess in my mind. Besides that, her age never really came up, because we had so much other school stuff in common. Starting high school can feel like a big change, and I'm sure it's even bigger for you, coming from a homeschooling background, but everyone is starting at the same time! You won't be the only new kid, and you sound like a thoughtful, bright person. You're going to do great. - Stefanie

[ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault]

I'm afraid I might be pregnant. I'm 18, and have a relationship with someone that helps me cope with my abusive past and low self esteem. I want a baby but can't care for it. Would it be wrong to ram into a corner over and over instead of abortion?

I don’t know about “wrong” but definitely dangerous. Trying to induce miscarriage on your own can cause internal bleeding that could kill you. If you want to find out more about your options, I would definitely contact your local Planned Parenthood or one of the numbers in our Resources page. They won’t judge you, they’ll listen and tell you what your options are so that you’ll be able to figure out what’s best for you.. Pregnancy worries can be very scary and confusing and you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. - Ijeoma

[ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault]

DO YOU HAVE A STORY TO SHARE WITH IBY/INYF?

Your words could help someone else through a rough time. Send your story to I Believe You, It’s Not Your Fault here. Be heard.

[ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault]

I know I have social anxiety but when I said it to my mum she went all carry on me like "it's just a you being stupid and now you've named it so you can get out of things" like no I actually want to do that shit like shopping and speaking to random people but I'm sorry I shake uncontrollably when someone even says hi to me. Sorry this isn't really a question I just needed to rant

UGH. I just want to say this one time very clearly: ANXIETY IS REAL. Now I want to say it again: ANXIETY IS REAL. People who don’t experience anxiety don’t understand what it actually means and, because it’s largely invisible, it’s easy for people to wave off. Your emotions are real. Your experience is real. Your struggle is real. Your anxiety is real. We believe you. It’s not your fault. - Hanna

[ibelieveyouitsnotyourfault]

We haven’t forgotten you

Dear friends,

We were on an unplanned hiatus for - well - a long time. If we did not get to your submission or question, it is not because it was rejected. We are making our way through the backlog, but honestly, there is a lot that has been there a long time and we may not get to it in a timely manner. If you have an urgent request or just want an update on your submission or question, please send us a note here. 

Thank you so much for your patience.

Love,

Lindy & Ijeoma