haven't checked the translation to Why in so long, i just vaguely remembered it was canonically from Zack's perspective @ Cloud, but i am always crying so hard during this scene in CC that i black out on the meaning. So i had to check again.
the fact it plays during Zack's death. That it starts the moment Cloud is screaming, crying, because it really hits him that Zack is dead. Zack is gone and the soundtrack is supposed to voice his worries about how Cloud is starting to close himself in and refuse to smile anymore.
"your beautiful smile" shut up shut up shut up Cloud used to smile so brightly around Zack of course Zack would notice. Even in the remake when Cloud starts to smile again it's small, shy smiles, compared to just how radiant he was around Zack.
And when Cloud is losing his memories of Zack, locking them in, the song is just Zack begging for Cloud to confide to him, somehow, so that Zack can try to help.
and i think about how in AC Cloud goes to Zack's memorial and DOES talk to him, ask him how he can even go on, that he promised he would live for Zack but it becomes harder in harder everyday. And then he has a flashback of Zack being nice and thoughtful to him and each of those scenes are cut right before the bright smile we knew Zack had in CC in those scenes. Because he can't even remember Zack's smile, but he has to hold on to that memory of him to still be alive.
and how when Cloud is fighting Sephiroth Zack appears to him to try to remind him of this promise they made, all while he has tears in his eyes. they're back to back, Cloud can't even see his face, but Zack being there reminds Cloud that he has to live because he promised he'd live for Zack, he'd be his living legacy.
and honestly everytime i rewatch AC i keep thinking that this promise Zack had Cloud made on his deathbed, to be his living legacy, was less for Zack to keep on living and more for Cloud to always have something to hold on to so he doesn't give up on his life. It's less about Zack than it is about Cloud. That it's why Zack doesn't manifest himself when Cloud has forgotten him or anything, but only once Cloud no longer wants to live.
And Why kinda highlight it, talking about this heavy burden on Cloud's shoulder, on how Zack wants Cloud to believe in himself, and if Cloud can't believe in himself can he believe in Zack, and therefore, believe in the Cloud Zack believes in?
And the way Zack knows Cloud is more reserved and shy than he is, that he has a problem putting things into words, and that's okay, but he just doesn't want Cloud to stop laughing and smiling like he has done everytime he was around Zack.
He dies as Cloud promises he'll keep on living and Zack can die at peace, but nearly immediately after it Cloud's mind breaks out of grief and there's nothing Zack can do to help him now, so he can only be sad it turned out this way.
in Mideel when Cloud is recovered after Sephiroth totally broke him and he got Mako Poisoning, the doctors say it's a miracle Cloud is even still alive, and that he must have a guardian angel watching over him. in the OG it refers to Aerith more than anything but AC adds that Zack also has been watching over Cloud.
and i wonder how Zack would have felt knowing that to keep on moving Cloud had to pretend to be Zack and erase his memories of him, and it's having to accept the fact Zack has existed that breaks Cloud's mind.
Like with Why i feel like Zack would be so torn about being forgotten that way, on one hand he sees that Cloud is getting more unstable, closed off, unable to smile at the world, and it would break his heart, but at the same time if it helps him live on, it can help a little until he's an emotionally safer place to address his trauma. And not only this place never comes but Cloud is instead going right into the most unsafe of place to address it, and Zack has to know a man he once called his friend is responsible for breaking Cloud this way.... but it's out of visions of him, remembering Zack actually existed.
that Zack's existence is both the fuel Cloud needs to keep on living forward, but is also the one thing that nearly destroyed Cloud.
(and i have many thoughts about how i feel like Sephiroth is breaking Cloud both on a personal level (messing with the guy who nearly killed him) and on a petty level (that deep down Sephiroth still has spent his time pre-Jenova reveal trying to befriend Zack, and Cloud's whole mascarade is taking over for a friend Sephiroth once had, erasing him)
*face in hands* i'm making myself so sad right now i'm so back.