Hamilton: i never get no sleep cuz of y’all, y’all never gonna sleep cuz of me
Book of Mormon: welcome to bible study! we’re all children of jesus
Matilda: there’s only one thing worse than a rapist! ... A CHILD
Waitress: CAN I PLEASE GET A WAFFLE
Beauty and the Beast: I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger
Falsettos: I love you, bitch
Fun Home: I’m a lesbian. I thought you were American
Anastasia: Nah they usually tell me I look like Shalissa
Wicked: And they were roommates
Kinky Boots: WHAT ARE THOOOOSE
Mean Girls: It’s Wednesday my dudes
Great Comet: two shots of vodka
Spongebob Squarepants: squidward dabbing
Phantom of the Opera: AA... AAA..... AAAA!!
In the Heights: well when life gives you lemons
Legally Blonde: I spilt lipstick in your Valentino white bag
Newsies: Back at it again in Krispy Kreme *flips*
Amelie: STOPPP I could’ve dropped my CROISSANT
Heathers: im a bad bitch you can’t kill me!!
Pippin: Is this allowed??? Is this allowed?????
Be More Chill: *pours every soda drink into cup* fuck you
Dear Evan Hansen: five bros chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they’re not gay
Bonus DEH: whaddup im Jared im 19 and i never fuckin learned how to read