I did it.
For as long as I can remember- not the entirety of the relationship, but for a very long time, I’ve felt just bleh.
Are you happy to see your partner when they come home? Do they light up your day? Do you get excited about your love life? Can you count on them & depend on them? Emotionally. Adventurously. Do you feel like you & your partner are on the same team? Do you feel loved? Appreciated? Wanted? Needed?
If your answer is no to any of these, you should probably work on your relationship. Together. As a team.
If your answer is no to literally all of these, why on earth are you still there? Is it because “they’re not that bad” & you’re comfortable & “what about the kids?”
Ask yourself if this is the “love” you want your children to share with their future partner. Is it good enough for them? If it’s not good enough for them, it’s absolutely not good enough for you either! Set an example! It’s OK to leave a situation you’re not happy in! People should know this. This should be normal & accepted!
Can I just remind myself one more time why I ended this? Just for those days in the future when the separation is finally complete & I might be lonely, or rejected after another bad date & for whatever God awful reason I think maybe I screwed up-
Remember this: He never woke you up with a kiss. Or a “good morning beautiful”. Never. He never gave you a hug or kiss good bye. He never said I love you. Unless he wanted something, which is worse! He never complimented you. Not your looks. Not your accomplishments. Nothing. And when you fished for compliments, it always backfired. “Should I wear spanks under this?” he scoffed & said “uh- yeah” remember? He never cared to ask about your day even though you inquired about his every single day. He wasn’t a gentleman. Did he ever open/close the car door? No. In fact all his manners & chivalry was just garbage. Rarely a please or a thank you. Never. Ever. An apology. Ever. Remember, “I didn’t think you were this thoughtful”. He never gave you a honey I’m home touch of any kind. No hug from behind when you’re cooking. No drive by booty spank. No touching of any kind. Unless, of course, he was to be rewarded for it in some way.. Speaking of touching. Your love life was garbage. Never ever let your lover get lazy again. And don’t you dare give in to something you don’t want to do because you feel bad. Fuck that. You deserve to feel good just as much the man does. Ugh! And Ick! None of that. And the house work. And the yard work. How many times did you rake the whole yard by yourself? How many times did you shovel the whole walk & driveway by yourself? While he did what? Sat inside & watched the game. Or sat in the basement avoiding the world. How many times did you ask him to do the dishes, make dinner once or twice a week, fold the laundry... make any attempt whatsoever to split the work load with you? And the socks. And the facial hair in the sink. And the living out of a laundry basket because he would refuse to put his own damn clothes away. And the inability to throw anything away. Or put anything away. Even on camping trips, he’d just sit there. Want to ride bikes with us? Want to go on a hike? A walk? No. No. No. Have to burry your head in your phone & guard the tent. Excellent. And remember you got a Y membership for the family- so we could all go & exercise together. Let me remind you- he joined you twice & you had that membership for 2 years. And all the times you asked to walk together, or walk the dogs together. Or go on a bike ride together. No’s all around. Remember? And all the fad diets he would want to try & you would have to cook & he would inevitably relapse in to his old eating habits. And little things too, like watching “our” show without you. How excluded did he want you to feel? How unloved? He just didn’t care. And his spending! How many credit cards did he have without your knowledge? How many times did he ask to borrow money for his truck payment? How many times did you help him with his bills due to his own bad choices? And then you would try to help him budget & get better & make the right choices & he would just push you further away. Like this is clearly not your business... but “can I have $XXX for xxx?” And remember, you paid for just about every vacation by yourself too. Not to mention the fact that you also planned every vacation by yourself. Not for lack of trying to include him. And there was no initiative to plan your wedding with you either. I know it lands largely on the bride, but the groom is still included in the planning. He didn’t even get down on one knee!! Should have been a deal breaker right there!
He never kissed you goodnight.
The list goes on. And on and on and on.
Girl, there was something wrong with that relationship, in every facet of the relationship. You 1 billion percent made the right choice. Being alone is countless times better than being in a relationship that doesn’t fill your cup.
DO
NOT
SETTLE.
It’s crazy what you deserve.