Milestones of Consciousness
Today. At this moment. At this time. I'm allowing myself the space to be. It's the thing I've begged for for yeeeaaarrssss, and quite frankly the more I realize that everything I've ever wanted was right in front of me, the more I see that space is something I can create when I create it. Today. At this moment. I am 25, but quite often I feel no older than 16 and other times older than my 57 year old mother. My dreams feel so closed but yet so distant. I'm realizing that nothing is hard, it just takes time. There's nothing I can't do, unless I'm willing to live to get it. I've wanted to die time and time again, but I realize that I hated not coming to a conclusion. An arrival point that I've made up in my mind. Overwhelmed with plans and thought process. I embrace decision fatigue and move forward with realizing I don't have to make all of them. I'm perfectly fine as is, and perfectly fine evolving into who I will be. One day, whether I like it or not, I'll be saggier, a generation that had it's time, achey from the gravitational pull, and wishing I could go back in time to be more of myself in a younger body. I love this bold, blunt, beautiful, blossom. There's not one aspect of myself that is more important than the other. I have 3 core principles, and a million names. I am created in the images of the i am so i am dynamic. I'm a universe and a galaxy and so are you. I am a black hole, a sun, an orbit that has a pull. I am vast and unexplainable, complicated, yet beautiful. This page has made me grateful. I had a tumblr in my early teens and to be back, anonymous, and fulling releasing myself, feels like honoring who I've been, while in the process of becoming. I thank God for all that is created and allowing me to be a creator. Using creativity, pouring my heart out.
