#idontspeakspanish

[more---than---friends]

WHEN NEW MOVIE WITH MACA OR BARBARA APPEARS BUT WITHOUT ANY SUBTITLES OR TRANSLATES...

Me:

[jamiesonwolf]

So I had a dream last night that I was approached for a Tarot reading but the woman stopped abd had a shocked look on her face. The woman asked me how could I wear a belt with that symbol on it. I looked down at it and saw two words in Spanish: que quesea. I don't speak Spanish but I looked up the words when I woke up. According to Google Translate, que quesea means Whatever. I love it when my spirit has a sense of humour. #dreams #idontspeakspanish #whatever https://www.instagram.com/p/CII2QUxHNik/?igshid=fqmpdcrsknnd

[chazfabulous]

This is for you Paki @paki_renteria from now on you have to traduzca everything 😉💀🖤 #chazfabulous🎀💋🎀 #idontspeakspanish #mexicant 🤦🏻‍♀️ https://www.instagram.com/p/Br-YgC3FFde/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ptdlp0whtk11

[spooningmoon]

Yay for time with my aunties! “One of these, we will get right. One more over here. Okay one more over here.” Hahaha and the reality of it all at the end of this post! Crack me up! Got there and the place was empty. By the time we left, a bunch of people were about to tear up the dance floor. Right now, that place is dance fever! Classic joint. @ruthbecerril0326 @lindareena #doyoumakemargaritas #idontspeakspanish #volumeup #photoshoot #ecuas #musicnotloudenough #familylove❤️ (at Angelo's Ecuadorian Cafe) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrrZNc6lvm5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ng52jle8k231

[cvserch]

Como cuando le haces bullyn a alguien que no habla Español Jajaja #cronicastercermundistas #boy #guy #spendingtime #relax #weekend #netflixeando #huevas #bedtime #bullying #idontspeakspanish #MeNoHablarEspaniol

[sillywhitegirl]

Como se dice... white girl?

One of the first words I learned when I moved to Miami was “gringa.” Which was quickly followed by “la rubia” and “flaca” (the latter of which I’m still, to this day, not sure is a compliment or an insult. Or both. Same goes for “gordo.” Tbh I’d be pretty insulted if someone decided that my nickname was “fatty.” But it doesn’t seem to bother people here. Shrug.) 

Where I come from, being a white girl doesn’t exactly set you apart in any way, but it didn’t take long at my first job (folding sweaters for 12 hours/day at Zara in Dadeland Mall) for me to be known as “la gringa.” (And at EVERY subsequent job I’ve had since that one, come to think of it...) This was easy enough for everyone, simply because, I was the ONLY white girl that worked there. Boom. Suddenly I’m a minority. I gotta say, though, that being different from pretty much everyone else was cool in some ways. And difficult in others. 

For instance, I am INSTANTLY stared at when I walk into a Cuban restaurant (or pretty much ANY establishment on Calle Ocho). But then, I find people are generally very nice to me and smile a lot, presumably assuming I’m a tourist there to *in my best midwestern housewife accent* “try some of that crazy Cuban coffee I’ve heard so much about from Carmen and Rodrigo, the Puerto Rican couple living in my subdivision in nowheresville, Michigan. They say it’s similar to... *looks around guiltily and sheepishly mouths the word* COCAINE! tee-hee!”

But one of the areas in which I’ve struggled the most to “fit in” is with the language barrier. In other words, I didn’t speak more than 3 words in Spanish when I moved here. Instead, I opted for Latin classes in high school and a French major in college. Boy, was THAT a mistake if I was going to end up in Miami of all places. So, naturally, when people would ask me “you speak Spanish, right?” my answer was always “Not yet, but I intend to learn it.” 

Guys, I’ve been here 5 years, and I still can BARELY ask for a “cafecito” and forget about pronouncing “no hablo espagnol.” FORGET IT. I’ve recently just given up and resorted to something that sounds like this: “LOW-SEE-EN-TOW, SOYEE OOOHNA GREENGAH.” :-/

Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, and my pronunciation HAS improved over the years, but I have to be honest with you. My METHOD for learning Spanish and my UNDERSTANDING of the way Spanish works has been ALL wrong from the beginning. Allow me to explain.

I had this theory. A theory that if you’re trying to learn Spanish, all you have to do is take an English word and add “O” at the end. Like the word “perfect” becomes “perfecto.” “Moment” becomes “momento.” Simple enough, right? Errrrnnnt - WRONG, Raley. SO SO WRONG.

It turns out that when you’re ordering a beer at a bar, you CANNOT just ask for “el beer-o light-o porrr fuh-vorr.” You’re gunna get a pretty strange look from the bartender. And if you ask a Target employee “donde esta los photo frame-os?” (See, I thought I was clever there because I knew I had to put an “s” at the end since it’s a plural word...) WRONG AGAIN. That was an embarrassing day at Target, for sure.

I’m working on it, folks. For sure, my natural and inherent Southern accent DOES NOT help in the Spanish department. Ever seen Inglourious Basterds? Remember that scene where Brad Pitt attempts Italian in that god-awful Southern accent? There ya go. Now you get it. #godhelpyouMiami #imtrying

Stay tuned! Next time, I’ll tell you all about why being white in Miami automatically makes you a racist and you’ll learn how I got my nickname “Raley, the Gently Racist.” It’s a story not for those made easily uncomfortable. 

See ya next time!

- A very silly white girl

[kefrith]

#Spanish Marvel Entertainment/DCComics #BadPun (#idontspeakspanish)

[mrlamarsworld]

View this post on Instagram

#CBS #Audio Guy. U had 1 job. Make sure the audio is in #English, and u messed that up !! Somebody is getting #Fired tonight !!! #YouHadOneJob #YouBlewIt #IDontSpeakSpanish #Translation